RECAP: If you haven’t been watching, these girls had to start by styling Christmas couture after a snowy photo shoot on a trampoline. Then they had to make a futuristic look to shoot a fake trailer for Drag Queens in Outer Space. Then most recently they had to get leotarded in a drag-tastic workout video and make a runway dress that showed off their best assets. Venus D-Lite, Phoenix, and Mimi Imfurst got the boots each week.
Raja, Manilla, and Shangela continue to be hot stuff but we get the feeling that Yara, India, and Stacy might be next on the chopping block. We’re also betting that the lip-synch for your life will be “It’s Raining Men” since the ladies will have to make a morning news segment with a weather forecast this time.
10:03 PM – Stacy Raye is worried that they she won’t make the next cut while I’m amazed how real RuPaul’s breasts—look! For the quick challenge RuPaul’s girls have to create a scandalous paparazzi photo. Shangela and another one of the boys fashion a fake vag by putting some fuzz up in their tuck! Carerra flashes her hot fuzz while India lets a boob slip. Raja works the battered celeb look, One of the gals puts her man in a leather mask! Mariah puts her tits over the pit crew man’s head, Stacey Raye pulls out her man-boob, and Shangela looks like a beauty queen gone celebri-whore! For the most part the photos are lots of tabloid fun.
10:07 PM – As winner of the challenge, Stacey and Carmen head up two drag news teams to preform live. Each team has to assign a weather girl, a gossip gal, and a roving celebrity reporter. Mailla doesn’t want to be picked by Stacey because she thinks Stacey’s team is gonna crash and burn (she’s right). Carmen Carerra doesn’t want to be with India’s group because India was in the bottom two last week.
10:13 PM – The girls are working on some very boring looks for the news cast which makes me worry. Yara’s heavily accented English worries Stacy because her weather report might be unintelligible. Maybe Rodiney Santiago from The A-List: New York can let Yara borrow her subtitles. RuPaul is not so impressed by India’s white-boy ghetto attempt to spice up the weather (neither were we). India is gonna be toast and Stacey might be toast as well if she can’t step up and let out her inner crazy.
10:17 PM – The interviewer on Stacy’s team has a bazillion questions for her 3-minutes with Kristin Cavallari. The girls will be critiqued by a Debbie Matenopoulos from The View and Stacy says, “I can’t wait to hear what that bitch has to say.” Ummm… yes. That bitch. (Social hint: Don’t refer to the woman who has graciously devoted her time to critique your work as “that bitch”).
10:21 PM – Commercial: Unknown looks like Taken Part 2: The Revenge of Liam Neeson, except instead of Liam’s daughter, they’ve kidnapped his wife. Yawn… all of Hollywood’s explosions and action sequences can’t make this movie look original or exciting, gurl.
10:24 PM – Yara’s pronunciation is so horrible that Debbie suggests that she just abandon English altogether. Shangela rocks her segment so well that Debbie is blown away. Mariah mispronounces Nick Brodie’s and some other mimbo’s name during his celeb interview. Yara actually rocks her weather report just by acting clueless in both languages. Lastly, Mariah asks if her celebrity guest, Kristin Cavallari, if she was born a biological female. Kristin laughs off what could have been an embarrassing question and Mariah saves it by saying, “Oh you were born a woman? Darn, we can’t claim you.”
10:28 PM – Manilla is the only one who rocks the news show by hamming up the interview with Asian stereotypes, mixing his Ls and Rs. The rest of the team is exciting as warm toast and milk. You can tell this group’s gonna be at the bottom, you can literally feel the blandness farting right through the screen. It’s ugh-tastic! But Manilla really saves it by offering her celebrity interview money to marry her illegal immigrant brother… or as she said “blother”.
10:35 PM – Stacey overheard Shangela say that she sucked as a leader, but luckily Stacey agrees… because so do we. The Shangela and Raja bicker over whether over drag beauty pageants are actually “art.” Lemme answer that for you ladies… no. No they’re not.
10:37 PM – I abhor guest judge Chloe Sevigny’s flopsy hair so much that I wish Ru would just plop a wig on her. But Billy B looks good in his Valentine’s red. Then in walks the girls in their runway best. Delta Work wears an unflattering dress covering her big belly with some horrible peach-skinned fabric. Shangela looks so windy like a Beyonce blowing through a tropical dream. Carmen hides behind some newspaper bikini with a maching handbag, but the judges have hated on her over-reliance on her beautiful body as well. Mariah wears a Vanessa WIlliams gown that’s kinda boring. Alexis Mateo is looking very Charro in her mirrored cocktail dress. India wears an old Hollyhood gown that is very Ginger Ann from Giglligan’s Island. Stacey rocks a Mad Max elegance with a skinned puppy on her head. Manilla works her Filipina look in a sequin pineapple dress with a matching pineapple. Yara Sofia wears a sensuous and menacing look. Raja comes out like Lady Gaga, Marie Antoinette, and the rococo period all had a gangbang.
10:43 PM – Commercial – Ozzy Ozman gets upstaged by Justin Bieber in a cell-phone commercial, which is basically the last sign that death metal truly is dead. Let’s all shed a tear for this ignominious televised death of Black Sabbath.
10:44 PM – Delta Work gets off the hook, I don’t know how. Manila and Shangela must be in the top two. The judges weren’t crazy about Shangela’s Beyonce dress (one too many bracelets for Chloe). India was lost during her weathercast and RuPaul says that she should have busted out with her attitude yesterday. Chloe doesn’t like the Yorkie on Stacey’s head, of course Chloe doesn’t like any animals… even though she does like eating them… and wearing them. Stacey is definitely on the bottom two. Say goodbye, lady!
10:49 PM – Chloe says India was hard to watch and the judges wonder if Stacey was TRYING to act like a boring news anchor from Atlanta. Cute Billy B either has some horrible sores crawling up his neck or a bad tattoo. Either one should be treated soon.
10:54 PM – Manilla wins by breaking all the rules and perpetuating Asian stereotypes—Shangela stares daggers in her direction—LOVES IT! Shangela talks so much crap that it’s nice to see her get passed over for the infinitely sweeter Pineapple Princess. Stacy and India will have to lip-synch for their lives. WHO WILL WIN?
10:57 PM – It’s “There’s A Meeting in the Lady’s Room” for the final lip-synch Stacey really works her inner bitch and lip-synches like crazy. India’s lip-synching is not as good… nor is her dancing. Stacey stays but India will jet back home. Though personally, I’m wondering why Delta still hasn’t gotten the chop. Maybe they’re trying to hold onto the big girls as not to be biased? Does suggesting that make me a bitch? Oh well…
11 PM – Next week the ladies will play celebrities, but will they play nice? Don’t count on it!