dead arguments

Now That The Gays Can Visit Their Dying Partners, Won’t They Give Up Fighting For Gay Marriage?

Even though Barack Obama has done something pretty great in forcing Medicare and Medicaid-partnered hospitals to grant visitation rights to same-sex partners, he’s still got his critics. Including us! But ya know who’s not (entirely) picking a fight with Obama over this move? Gay marriage opponents.

Sure, the gays can claim Obama’s move is really just another piecemeal approach to LGBT equality. That because he really can’t guarantee DADT will be repealed, and that even ENDA remains on shaky ground, he wants to do something to tie over the gays until the mid-term elections. And that because the enormous health care bill he signed skipped out on LGBT provisions (like eliminating the tax disparity for same-sex partners receiving health insurance from an employer; or providing early HIV treatments for low-income patients; or eliminating this very type of visitation discrimination), he’s trying to do something to make good on it.

But what they can’t claim is that Obama has neglected their needs inside the corridors of America’s health care facilities. And now that they will soon have the right to visit their ill and terminal loved ones? They can give up on pushing for gay marriage! Oh, how we’re loving this argument from Dave Poff (pictured) –who’s been attracting the attention of Media Matterson Red State:

Umm…people? Remember the basis of the complaint amongst Gays and Lesbians, and whatever other non-heterosexuals that are out there, when they were arguing that they should be granted the right to marry? Their defense was that a lack of “married” in their relationship status was forcing them to be denied the very things Obama just gave them by Presidential fiat.

I’ve argued for years that, since the non-heteros out there felt they were being discriminated against because of their sexual proclivities and believed they should be entitled to access to hospitals, dying beds, powers of attorney, rights of survivorship, etc. that perhaps we should just give them those things and leave the sanctity of marriage and its relationship with God (who teaches us these non-hetero behaviors are unnatural, unacceptable, and not allowed) out of it.

They get to access dying partners, engage in their medical processes, and survive them (and get their stuff when they’re dead). In exchange, they leave the whole “husband and wife” and “what God has brought together let no man put asunder” thing alone. Well…Obama has done just that.

Can we put all this “anyone should be able to marry anyone” nonsense behind us now, and get back to guys and girls getting married so they can make babies? And let the “everyone else” crowd just get on with the business of doing whatever it is that they do?

Thank you Mr. President for completely destroying the fundamental argument for Gay marriage…sometimes you make me smile.

Yeah! Marriage war totally over now!

Get Queerty Daily

Subscribe to Queerty for a daily dose of #politics #barackobama #davidpoff stories and more


  • Tommy

    Most of the political musings of queerty are nonsensical. That being said, I agree on this issue. I feel like we’ve been thrown the least conservative-angering bone we could have been thrown.
    It’s good politics though. Give the gays something relatively inconsequential to keep them from negatively effecting poll numbers going into election summer, and you also don’t have to push forward any real change that would anger the conservative types.

  • reason

    I applaud the president for getting this done. I will come out and say that I am not a critic of this president, I am a supporter of the president that will call him out when he is going asunder like he asked us to do during the campaign. What I won’t do is attack and demean the president, over-analyze ever move he makes, and call into questions his motives when he does something good. There is already a group of people designated for that, right-wing zealots, the same people that demean the gay community and question the motives of us wanting rights with statements like they want to make pedophilia okay or indoctrinate the children. There is a big difference between advocacy and character assassination.

    Dave Puff’s twisted logic makes absolutely no sense, apparently he has a very shallow understanding of what equality means or hasn’t come to the realization that equality is what the gay community seeks. With equality comes the rights and privileges afforded to the majority including the right to marry. I wonder what will happen to his face when he understands those fundamentals.

  • thomasAlex

    This was a stupid article, there is no–god!

  • Jerome

    @Tommy: I get the feeling you didn’t sense the sarcasm in the headline, maybe …

  • Kieran

    Wow! Here it is 2010 and gays have now been conferred the right to actually visit their dying loved ones in US hospitals! You’ve come a long way baby.

  • fredo777

    @Tommy: how is that something relatively inconsequential? while there are lots of gays who don’t even want gay marriage, i can’t imagine one who wouldn’t want the right to visit a sick/dying partner in the hospital.

  • W.

    And it only took 14 months for Obama to do the right thing and sign a memo.

    Wow. That sure is some “fierce advocating”

  • greenluv1322

    I am a lesbian and my wife and I are married. So we don’t appreciate how we are being lumped into “un-married” couples. We want marriage equality because we are both citizens of the US. I am not happy about this(Hospital Visitation) because it’s just like the “Hate Bill” something terrible has to happen to you before you get the “benefit” of the law. Anyway as a lawyer I can only hope that all of these piece meal acts we lead up to LGBT’s being considered a “class” of people so that we can get the treatment we deserve, under the law.

  • Forrest

    I can’t help but feel demeaned by this directive even though it’s welcome. It’s galling for us to have to be “allowed” this fairness in 210. The radical side of me just thinks gee how magnanimous of the heteros to treat us right in this instance. Insulting. Now go away and be happy with another crumb.

  • unclemike


  • james_cambridge

    It’s really disgusting when even Liberals like most of the commentators in this thread shit on the President like the teabaggers…the teabaggers hate him because here is a man, a black man, actually doing what he said he’d do and trying to change the lives of the working and middle classes for the better (check the new CBS poll which shows that the overwhelming majority of teabaggers are affluent, old, White men who are afraid that “Blackie” is gonna take something from them.) You “Liberals” hate on him because he’s just not going fast enough…how dare he try and take care of the economy or health care or regulate the bastards who brought our economy to it’s knees before he takes care of my issues? Everything he’s doing is important to our community so get off his fucking back!! We haven’t had a President who’s accomplished this much since FDR or at least since LBJ and he’s only been in office a year. Clinton did shit compared to him in 8 years, except sign the Defense Of Marriage Act, of course and kick a bunch of poor people off welfare (Hillary-bots, do you think Hillary would have even passed health care or that after what her husband went through with Gays in the military that she would have touched any gay issues?) What Obama is doing will change this country for the better long-term, so stop bitching. Bunch of babies!!

  • ewe

    “DA GAZE”

  • Paul

    Wow man.

    James, I hardly think that pointing out that this MEMO is nothing more that a glorified PR stunt that only SUGGESTS that gays be allowed visitation rights is ‘shitting’ on the POTUS. There is nothing in this memo that even approximates a change in law…read the last sentences in the memo.

    Please get your head out of Obama’s ass and your own while your at it.

    The General Accounting Office has identified more than 1,100 rights and priviledges that are bestowed upon heterosexuals when they get married.

    I agree that this move is a welcome one, but what about all the other 1100 rights?. At this rate, Obama would have to sign at least 3 of these MEMOs every day for the rest of this term before we would even approximate civil equality of our heterosexual neighbors.

    So no, we are not Shitting on Obama. Quite the opposite in fact. Obama ‘promised’ to move on DADT, DOMA and ENDA. He has been absent on all three except for very carefully crafted photo ops that do nothing to advance the major issues in any substantive way.

    So please stop being such an over protective apologist for a man who repeatedly has gone against his own words.

    Oh, and btw, did I mention that you’re a complete asshole?

  • Paschal

    @Paul: You don’t need to insult anyone although I admit that have done so myself before. Just so everyone gets that which you wrote, more than 1,1000 rights are given to married couples by the federal government. Compare President Obama’s achievements thus far to the actions which would have been taken had Senator McCain has won the presidential election or to the actions of President George W. Bush. Despite the good intentions of President Clinton, he didn’t achieve a lot, although a Republican Congress for most of his presidencey didn’t exactly help. Sometimes things happen painfullt slowly but progress is being made. Do not attack President Obama as it will only serve to help less gay-friendly people. He has already passed a comprehensive health care law,to name a major achievement.

  • james_cambridge

    Paul said: “Oh, and btw, did I mention that you’re a complete asshole?”

    Right back at ya jackass. The Republicans always fall in line behind their leaders, even when they’re not 100% pleased with them, which is why they were able to pass so many odious laws with very thin majorities in the last decade. We tear our leaders down every chance we get, despite Obama and the Democrats doing so much in ONLY ONE YEAR and in a very controversial climate. With whiny little bitches like you in our ranks Paul, who have but one agenda and don’t give a fuck about anything else, we are doomed!! (You think Obama can force the Democrats to pass some sort of gay marriage law on a Federal level? Seriously?? You know they would lose both houses in a landslide and Obama would go down in flames in 2012, right?? He’s doing what he can without pissing off the rednecks too much…it’s called compromise, which is how civil rights laws were passed in the 1960’s…slowly over time without pissing off the middle class. You want him to put his neck out and get it cut off so you can get married and divorced withing a year. Grow the fuck up!!)

  • Steve

    Pointing out that Obama has not made any attempt to keep his promises to gay and lesbian people, is not out of line. Asking Obama to actually make some actual attempt to keep at least one of those promises, is not out of line.

    These little PR stunts are not unwelcome. Each one will probably help someone in some way. But, this latest memo is far less than one one-thousandth of one of his promises. This is not a serious attempt to keep a promise. It is only a PR stunt.

    We are being treated like dogs. A dog is easily manipulated by giving him a crumb of anything, and doesn’t even realize that he was promised a whole steak. Except, these particular dogs understand English, and have video of the promises.

    If he would make any sincere effort to actually keep any of his promises to us, it would help a lot more helpful to a lot more people.

  • W.

    If Obama and the Dems only want to give us crumbs off the table then that’s exactly what they will get come election time.

    Crumbs. Betrayal has a price.

  • dave poff

    I’m impressed with the work you went through to get that particular photo of me. Really had to comb through a rather large gallery to find one that fit your failed attempt at making me look like a clown, although I do appreciate the hit stats. FTR, that was taken when I was on a business trip in Grenoble France…riding the tramway. Hope you liked the other pics in that gallery too. Grenoble is a pretty cool little place.

    Much love-Dave

  • james_cambridge

    @Dave: Apparently it doesn’t take much to make you look like a really gay leather daddy. Man you’re old.

Comments are closed.