Forbidden love

And the number of gay men who say they’ve cheated on their partners is…

Here’s a newsflash: lots and lots of people cheat in their relationships. Statistics show that it happens a lot more than we might imagine, and consistently across the board.

A new survey has found that the majority of gay men (52%) in monogamous relationships say they’ve cheated on their boyfriends or partners, with 45% of them saying their partners never found out.

A total of nearly 1000 gay and bisexual men participated in the study, which was conducted by FS magazine.

Related: These Guys All Caught Their Boyfriends Cheating. Now What?

Of the 52% of cheaters, 17% said they had picked up an STI while sneaking around–and 61% say they never told their partners about it.

The number of gay men who say they’ve been cheated on themselves was even higher, with 58% of respondents saying a partner had been unfaithful.

But those high numbers aren’t just limited to couples in monogamous relationships. 40% of respondents in open relationships reported that either they or their partner had broken the rules of that relationship at some point.

Related: Gay Guys Turn To Whisper To Confess Their Cheating Ways

Ian Howley, Chief Executive of  the Health Equality and Rights Organisation, says the results of the survey reiterate the importance of getting regularly tested for STDs, even if you’re in a committed relationship.

“17% of the gay men who admitted to cheating on their partner got an STI or HIV,” he says. “We recommend that all sexually active gay men, whether in a relationship or not, gets tested for HIV and STI at least twice a year.”

Let’s be honest, folks. Monogamy isn’t for everyone, and that’s fine. The real problem isn’t non-monogamy, it’s non-communication. We’re often afraid to talk to our partners and afraid to be truthful with ourselves, and its the secrets we keep that can poison the love shared between two people.

Related: Is Sexting Cheating? Survey Says… It’s Complicated.