LEGAL EAGLES

NY’s Attorney General Becomes 50% Dreamier By Calling DOMA Unconstitutional

Seeing as his state just legalized marriage equality, the somewhat DILFy New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman decided to go ahead and file a legal brief in a lawsuit challenging the Defense of Marriage Act. His brief basically says that DOMA conflicts with the ability of states to make their own marriage laws, violates the equal protection component of the Fifth Amendment’s Due Process Clause, and targets gay and lesbian Americans without advancing any legitimate federal intrest.

Schneiderman said, “My office will fight every day to defend the fundamental guarantee of equal protection under law for all New Yorkers.” (Emphasis ours, all ours).

Oh, Schneiderman, you sure know how to sweet talk an oppressed sexual minority. We’d love to get a look at your legal briefs… call us! We’ll do recess.