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Obama Totally Forgets to Mention Marriage in His List of Queer Accomplishments

Barack Obama is America’s second gayest president (after Abraham Lincoln), so it is fitting that he recognized LGBT Pride Month today with a lovely proclamation.

Actually, it’s more like a sales pitch, with the White House listing all of their accomplishments on behalf of the gays. And gee whiz they sure does have a lot to say. Among the milestones:

  • They totally ended DADT (except it’s still in effect, and even after it’s lifted later this year, the Army can still kick out trans soldiers)
  • They have totally “taken steps” to eliminate discrimination in Federal housing programs, hospital visitation, and Federal employment (but not in passing the Employment Nondiscrimination Act)
  • They gave totally appointed LGBTs to high-ranking positions. Okay, yes, we will unreservedly give them that one.
  • “…my Administration stands with advocates of equality around the world” but only in the most extreme cases, such as Uganda’s kill-the-gays bill. Oh, what’s that, you want to not be killed and you want to get married? Well, that’s just greedy.
  • They are totally “working to address and eliminate violence against LGBT individuals” by enforcing hate crime legislation and holding an anti-bullying conference. Please do not suggest that there is any connection between anti-gay laws and anti-gay bullying. Look, he made a video just like Dan Savage!
  • They created a National HIV/AIDS strategy and increased funding for HIV services and research. Okay, yes, we’ll give them that one too.

Obama concludes, “Every generation of Americans has brought our Nation closer to fulfilling its promise of equality.” Which is kind of him admitting that his generation is basically punting the job to their kids?

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