Oh, Dear God, No!

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Sorry to do this to you, folks, but we’ve got yet another disturbing story for you: Britain’s The Sunday Mirror has reported that despite all the heroin pumping through his blood, Pete Doherty has successfully impregnated Kate Moss with his seed. As if that’s not enough, the troubled pair (pictured, looking baby-ready) plan to tie the proverbial knot.

Pete’s uncle says:

I have spoken to Pete twice about the baby and he has confirmed that Kate is pregnant…That is why they want to get married. Pete told me they want a baby together to cement their marriage.

…I wish them every success. They’re so happy, they love each other. I can’t wait for the wedding – we are just waiting for a date.

Let’s hope that date doesn’t coincide with Pete’s regular trips to rehab.

Although the little bundle won’t be arriving for another few months, the drug-addled couple have already picked out possible names: Charlie Butrose if it’s a boy and Yayo Bumper if it’s a girl.

They both have such nice rings, don’t you think?

Related: No Drugs for Moss Daughter