Oldest Jonas Bro Gets Married So He Can 1) Have Sex 2) Prove He’s Straight


Twenty-one-year-old Kevin Jonas, the oldest of three Jonas brothers who comprise the pop boy band, asked Danielle Deleasa, a 22-year-old “former hairdresser,” whom Kevin met two years ago in the Bahamas, to marry him. The media’s joke is that Kevin will get to replace his purity ring with a wedding band, and start making sweet love for the first time in his young life. Our joke is that, like any gay, Kevin married someone who works in hair.