Dating apps. They can be a lot of fun. They can also be a huge pain in the ass. And sometimes they can be downright scary.
Vice recently asked gay men for their dating app horror stories. As you can imagine, people had quite a few to share. The stories involved everything from unexpected nose bleeds to mud fights to spiders to chloroform.
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Two stories really stick out from the bunch. Here’s a little summary of each:
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Chris, age 30, says he narrowly escaped being chloroformed by two very bossy boyfriends:
I once organized a threesome through a dating app. When I arrived, we all headed straight to the shower to “warm up.” Eventually, things moved into the bedroom. Everything was going great until I noticed that both my partners were trying to pin me down and stop me from moving, which I found quite strange.
Yeah, we’d say that’s kinda strange. It got even stranger when Chris says one of the guys tried to “chloroform me into sexual submission.”
Butt naked, I got up and ran into the kitchen and grabbed the biggest knife I could find. I then ran into the bathroom where my clothes were, got changed, and stuffed the knife into my back pocket. I knew I couldn’t stay in the bathroom forever, so I unlocked the door and ran straight for the front door.
23-year-old Jasper tells Vice had almost witnessed a man die during a hookup:
I ended up talking to a guy I met online. When I arrived at his place, I discovered his partner was sleeping in the next room. I ignored this vital piece of information, while my “date” pulled out a bottle of poppers.
With the man’s partner asleep in the next room, Jasper and his date decided to take a shower, where they continued doing poppers until the man “collapsed on the stone floor.”
With his eyes wide open, staring right back at me, he started to convulse. Obviously, I began to panic, thinking, F*ck! I’m in a shower with someone I don’t know, and he’s dying—what am I going to tell the police?
To make a long and horrifying story short, Jasper asked the dying man if he should wake his boyfriend up. The man shook his head no. As his date “slowly started coming back to life,” Jasper hastily made his exit.
You know what happens next, right? We want to hear about your dating app horror stories. Share your experiences in the comments below, but try to keep ’em clean…
Related: Grindr CEO Insists The App Is Not Killing Gay Dating Culture, But Is He Right?
WillParkinson
Dying man coming back to life. How religious of him.
Luna1979
That’s it? 2 stories? Were you too busy for 3? I must have dozens of horror stories, personally. I think the most appropriate, now Halloween will soon be upon is, is this: I met a hot guy while working at Applebees back in college. All business suit, simple in his cheek, perfect hair. He started coming in every day and finally asked me out for an innocuous ice cream. I agreed. Well, we had the ice cream and were standing in a little footbridge in a secluded area. I thought he was going to kiss me. Instead, he days, “would you like to see where I prepare the bodies?” Then, of course, I thought he brought me there to kill me. I started thinking, should I seem agreeable or hostile? Which will save me? Instead, I asked, “what bodies?” Because I was an 18 year old idiot. “The ones in the funeral home! I’ve drained their fluids already.” I don’t know how long I stood agog, kind of intimidated by this guy, probably ten years older than me. I finally said I wasn’t feeling well and asked if he’d take me back home. He did, then tried to kiss me when he parked out front. I got out the car and ran like all holy hell. Do you know that psycho called the next day asking if I’d like more cream??!
winemaker
As the saying goes, “you never know what’s in a strangers mind”. This is a perfect reminder to be very careful when meeting a stranger in person for the first time after having connected with them on line. On every dating site there’s always some sort of list of dating do’s and don’ts, most are common sense and I think the main one is never, ever meet the first time at each others home, always in a public place in case it doesn’t work out or he’s really creepy or not your type.. Another one’s: never give out personal information, address or phone number in case the guy’s, well you know, a stalker. Once you meet him, it’s up to you to decide if he’s a go or a no, use your intuition.. Sad to say, all the people on dating sites aren’t always what they represent themselves to be, both gay and straight. When you meet him, if he’s not anything like he’s described himself to be or if he’s different from his picture, exit stage right, he’s already lied to you, why waste time with such people.
Kenney G
You couldn’t pay me to on an app date, i rather stay home and choke the chicken
Bob LaBlah
I’ve always thought it takes a man with steel nerves to let a TOTAL stranger into their home whom they have only conversed/texted with for an hour at best. When I did try internet dating I had a rule of four text messages tops. After that if they would not answer their phone that was the end of it. Persistent texting sounds to me that the person is to high to converse verbally and its best to leave it alone. Better to error on the side of caution that end up being sorry that you didn’t.
alanballs
My Dating APP Horror Story
Once upon a time, I met my life partner on a dating APP. Last year we bought a home together and founded our design firm. This year, we’re going to Bali to celebrate Xmas and New Year. Next year, we’re getting married in Hollywood. In 2-3 years, we’re having a baby.
The End
Charlie in Charge
Congratulations!
tghost54
These depressing stories highlight just how sad and superficial our community is.
It would be so nice to hear a story about two men getting to know each other, and develop a healthy relationship instead of jumping in the sack with strangers.
Is everyone that scared of love?
mab
Soo because of a couple of stories you deduce that the entire community is sad and superficial? Ooook, so you want to hear my story of dating a gorgeous man, we got to know each other extremely well over a 2 year period. Then started a real life together! Got married, live a pretty nice life here in Canada and still love each other more than ever after 10.5 years together? Well, there u go. It is true and hope I have made you feel less sad about the community. Xx
batesmotel
Those exist out there, but we just never hear about them.
JodyBoy
Catfishers, gold diggers, fake profiles, fake photos, no-shows and lame excuses. That’s what’s on dating apps.
Me2
People are more likely to be killed by someone that they know. Dating apps may actually be less dangerous than many people’s spouses.
Alan down in Florida
I was taught when I was first coming out that if I was gonna take someone home to go to his place. Firstly this protects you from future stalking and secondly a homicidal lunatic would be less likely to get blood on his carpet and furniture.
batesmotel
A whole two stories. Strange though as I’ve never had any horror dates, but then again I’m usually careful about who I’m going to connect with.