After transgender teen Leelah Alcorn committed suicide, jumping in front of a truck and leaving her family and the world a heart-wrenching note, her mother, Carla Wood Alcorn, posted this Facebook message:
My sweet 16 year old son, Joshua Ryan Alcorn went home to heaven this morning. He was out for an early morning walk and was hit by a truck. Thank you for the messages and kindness and concern you have sent our way. Please continue to keep us in your prayers.
In the suicide note, Leelah gives her account of trying to talk to her parents about being trans many times. The told her it “was a phase,” that “God doesn’t make mistakes.”
Unsurprisingly, her parents are using her given boy name on the tombstone, and an online petition with nearly 70,000 signatures has gone up to try and convince her parents to use Leelah’s chosen name.
It makes the plea that, “Her dying wish was to make her death mean something. Let’s make that wish a reality.”
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Dan Savage has come out strong against Leelah’s parents, calling for charges of child abuse, neglect, reckless endangerment and manslaughter to be brought against them.
He wrote in a series of Tweets:
polarisfashion
If the name Joshua is used, I hope someone either puts an asterisk next to the name, or scribbles it out and puts her chosen name on the tombstone.
JustSayin
We had this happen to a dear friend of ours. She committed suicide (family un-acceptance)and was buried under her male given name. TRAGIC Ignorance knows no end it seems, especially in many ‘religious’ people who wouldn’t know love if it walked up and bit them on the A$$…..
Ken A.
Unfortunately, it is not up to us what name goes on the tombstone. That falls to the parents. No matter what anyone says or does, the parents have that right. We do not know what went on in that house but we have some idea on her note that she was given to Christians for therapy. The world will look at this as parents trying to do everything they could to help her, even though some Christians are no help at all when it comes to these issues.
It should not be about the names, Lela or Josh, it should be about educating parents and siblings that their LGBT sibling is not broken or mentally unstable or demon possessed but is going through the rough stages of finding themselves and acknowledging who they are and that family should support and be their strength as they go through this tumultuous time. Disapproving either through their belief systems or fear isn’t going to make it go away. What breaks a person at their deepest core is the foundation of which they sprung up collapses leaving them alone, scared and hopeless.
jockjack5
Dan Savage is a disgusting old queen who writes outrageous things just for the sake of being outrageous, with the hope of ginning up interest in his online musings.
Let these grieving parents grieve in their own way troll and keep your filthy santorum-covered fingers off the keyboard for a few minutes while they do so.
Cam
@jockjack5:
It’s always funny when people come in here pretending they are not a troll and yet the only insults they can think of are homophobic. Nice try.
So the kid was driven to suicide because of the parents but you paint them as poor grieving and innocent?
ShowMeGuy
As much as people love to think that they have a right to decide how someone else in the *land of the free* should live their life……this child is a minor and his parents are fully responsible for her until which time she turns 18 or she goes to court to get an emancipation from his parents granted by the courts.
As sad and tragic as this entire situation has been, what his parents decide to have engraved on her tombstone is not any of our damn fucking business. Just like it is not anyone else’s damn fucking business what your family has engraved on your tombstone.
Mack
While it’s a nice thought, you’re not going to convince her homophobic parents to do it. Petitions like this is a waste of time other than showing support to her. In the end it’s the parents’ decision.
Mr-DJ
I agree with Dan Savage on this. I signed the petition, and added the following comments:
The parents did not want anything to do with Leelah, and it is Leelah who is being buried. So we don’t care what the parents want on the gravestone. We do care what Leelah wants on her own stone.
Mental Child Abuse is worse than Physical Child Abuse because while the physical heals, the mental does not. So if we would not give the parents who physically abused their child to the point of death, the freedom even to pick the carvings on a gravestone, then why would we allow these monsters to do so?
They are completely ignoring the final wishes in her very public last request – that her very life & death MEAN something. And they’ve already insulted her memory by publicly dishonoring her very identity. Why can’t they at least allow her to R.I.P. under a proper gravestone ??
Mr-DJ
@jockjack5: jockjack5 – If you are not part of the solution, then you are part of the problem. Dan Savage as an activist, unlike most of us, is being part of the solution. And we know where that leaves you…
edwardnvirginia
Dan Savage should be treated just the same way as he treats others: with uninvited self-indulgent emotional manipulation – which is what many would call abuse of others for ones own satisfaction and/or benefit – which is otherwise known as ‘an evil queen’. What sorts of uninvited self-indulgent emotional manipulation should be hurled his way? Perhaps about mistreatment of his children (e.g. does he have group sex or sex not his spouse in the home with the children?; e.g. what percentage of his income – and what actual amount in dollars, not ‘personal appearances’ – does he actually give back to LGBTQ nonprofits?; e.g. )
edwardnvirginia
Dear everyone who signed the petition: NOW, please plan to spend hundreds of hours of your free time – as many of do and have been doing for years – to work on issues of LGBTQ equality, services delivery, agency and community accountability, and outcome quality improvement – not to mention PREVENTION of abuse, violence, and other social problems among LGBTQ – at your state legislatures, with your state and local agencies, and in the community. Oh, forget to say: THAT IS HUNDREDS OF HOURS OF YOUR FREE TIME FOR YEARS AND YEARS AHEAD. If you really can’t manage HUNDREDS OF HOURS EVERY YEAR, how about 10 hours a month (a day and a half of your free time each month?). Can’t do it? well, how about 2-3 hours a week? Can’t do it? well, how about 40 hours a year (that’s a week of time that you’d use your vacation time, or personal time, for); can’t you do that? Oh, your can’t, how about 5 hours a month (the amount of time you spend on cruising online or with your apps? the amount of time you spend on on night’s party? etc). How about it? Can you make that pledge?
aliengod
This has gotten ridiculous. Dan Savage is once again making outrageous statements to bring attention to himself. The parents should sue him for slander. This kid was a minor and the only people who have a say in this are his parents.
Mr-DJ
@aliengod: Sorry ‘aliengod’, but when parents abuse their children they LOSE the right to have the final say.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
I been pretty darn Gay my whole life. So darn Gay that I was 8 before I was 7 (do the math :p) I used to question the whole being born in the wrong body scenario. Until I saw a few videos of kids who refused to be forced into a body they simply could not accept. There was special about a trans kid name Chris Mari who was born a girl but refused to wear a dress and was adamant about being a boy. His Mother was accepting and allowed him to live as a boy and take injections to prevent him from hitting puberty as a girl, instead he hit puberty as a boy. There was nothing about that kid that didn’t scream typical teen age American boy. From his looks, mannerisms, to being so damm proud of his peach fuzz and happy trail…..
Some kids just seem to get on the wrong line when bodies are being assigned. And to the Savage haters, it is child abuse to force a kid into a body they are not destined to be in……………
aliengod
@Mr-DJ: There’s been nothing written in the articles I’ve read to indicate these parents abused their child. Where do you come up with that nonsense? This kid had serious mental health issues that led him to do what he did. It’s irresponsible to make up such serious accusations about these grieving parents. I can’t imagine being treated this way if I lost one of my kids.
Mr-DJ
aliengod: Nothing written? What articles did you read? Certainly not the one with the Suicide Letter, where she explains how she was treated.
Here it is: http://www.queerty.com/transgender-teen-dies-after-leaping-in-front-of-truck-in-suspected-suicide-20141230
Don’t know about you, but I would tend to believe the final words of a dying person. Especially if they were written in a suicide letter, where they obviously had time to more carefully word it.
Cam
@edwardnvirginia:
None of your posts make sense, but nice try.
As for Dan Savage being treated like he treats others? Well gee, only an anti-gay troll would try to claim that a gay activist had never been treated badly.
But nice try.
jockjack5
@Cam:
Does your limited vocabulary keep you from saying anything other than…
“nice try”
That, and calling commenters “trolls”.
Dan Savage is an aging troll and a bitter queen that increasingly has to rely on bizarre and inappropriate comments to appear edgy and relevant.
Remember Cam, a child is dead. To affix blame and threaten her parents is unseemly and abhorrent to any sane person.
jockjack5
@aliengod:
Excellent and very valid point(s).
Thank you.
aliengod
@Mr-DJ: Yes. Of course I read the suicide letter. It’s the writings of a mentally disturbed teenager who’s angry at his parents. Do you have children? I’ve got two that are near the age of this kid. Kids are often angry at their parents when they aren’t getting their way or disagree about something. Sadly, this teen also suffered from mental illness that drove him to act in an irrational manner and take his own life. His parents and siblings have got to be devastated. The driver of the semi that he chose to jump in front of is probably devastated also. It’s a sad situation for all involved. It’s terrible that any kid is in such a low place to take their own lives. But it’s mental illness that drives people to suicide, not people.
A couple definitions for you:
Suicide: the act of intentionally causing one’s own death
Homicide: the deliberate and unlawful killing of another
Mr-DJ
Mentally disturbed?
Illness that caused HER to…?
Now it’s MY TURN to ask you where you read that? Sounds like some ‘made up’ facts to me.
By the way you keep turning things around, I’d say you MUST be a Republican!
aliengod
@Mr-DJ: I say mentally disturbed/ill because of the suicide. Does a mentally stable person jump in front of a semi on the interstate? I wasn’t making up facts. Simply stating the obvious. Not sure what you mean by “keep turning things around”.
If you must know, I don’t affiliate with any political party. I vote as I see fit.
patricko
Her death is the result of a deep toxin in our society that allows otherwise reasonable people to think this form of child abuse is ok. As culpable as I think her parents are, I also have no doubt they are grieving with deep pain on many levels today. I don’t think Savage’s comments are at all helpful. They won’t bring Leelah back and they are quite unlikely to change the course of other kids with similarly abusive parents. Reasoned, compassionate, and determined dialogue do that.
Ratronaut
The parents are abusive control freaks who dismissed their child’s hopes and dreams. All this petition is going to do is give them the opportunity to ignore 70,000+ other people’s hopes and dreams for the victim. I can picture them looking at this petition and gleefully rubbing their hands together.
Magadriel
I understand the intention behind this, and I share the pain you’re all in, but I must pass on this. As others have pointed out, Leelah was a minor and it is her parents’ right to decide what to write on her tombstone and how to remember her.
Taking rights away from parents is a VERY slippery slope. It’s very easy to abuse that power, and it has been abused by all sorts of governments with all sorts of intentions, even good ones. It’s not difficult to imagine how an overzealous (even if well-meant) crusade to take parents with whom we disagree out of the picture could end, for example, with children of healthy homosexual families being removed from home for no good reason.
The definition of child abuse must stay uncontroversial, a matter of national agreement regardless of faith or political/personal belief, in order to protect us all from each other. Unfortunately, issues revolving around children and sexuality/gender are all but uncontroversial right now.
Leelah is gone. We can’t help her anymore. Let’s honor her by improving conditions for the ones who are still around, and not waste our energies in a battle that we could end up regretting.
BlogShag
A weak individual. Should have grown a set and moved out
DogCollarPistolWhip
@aliengod:
Agreed. Dan Savage needs to get over herself.
jasentylar
Dan Savage did a despicable thing by railing against the parents during the worst time in their lives. No parent should outlive their child. Regardless of who their child was, it’s still THEIR child. This is another thing about our community that bothers me: why should everything be our way? This is terrible. Horrible for someone so young to die. Even worse that the adults in this world—especially in our community—can’t seem to just let it go. Education is important, not trying to bend someone to your will. Sad.
Vero55
This is an NGO equivalent of a false flag event. All there was is a now-removed tumblr and a print interview with CNN (a print interview, huh? As if CNN is known for those). An FTM stepped in front of a train in August. Alcorn was not given any information from other trans* people that would assuage the anxieties about waiting to transition? A few months was not going to make a difference. Why haven’t the throngs of people threatening her parents or signing a petition about conversion therapy fighting for better trans* services in rural areas? Why aren’t there discussions about “suicide is never the answer”? Why is everyone responding with violence and being allowed to do so? This story is one where everyone should take a moment to assess what they know and what they are told and what they believe is acceptable. What about Alcorn’s letter was any difference than your average teenage depression? What was different than the thousands, if not millions, of other bullied kids living in boring, intolerant Christian communities? That she wanted to “be pretty”????
Cee
Interesting how the mother says “He was out for an early morning walk and was hit by a truck.”
Um no bitch. He threw himself in front of the truck.
He wasn’t just out for a stroll and accidentally hit.
The way she phrases what happened is indicative of something very wrong.
Must be horrible to lose a child and know that you’re part of the reason they’re gone.
I think she should put Joshua Ryan Alcorn aka “Leelah” on the headstone or something like that…or “Joshua Ryan Leelah Alcorn.”
Clark35
I agree with the other poster that a young kid or teenager under 18 should not be taking hormones, or contemplate getting a sex change.
If they decide to do this as an adult that’s fine since they’re an adult, and it’s their choice; but I would not help them pay for it.
“Fix society” Sorry, but that never going to happen. There will always be haters and people need to grow up and learn to deal with them, and not let them get to you.
Did this young gay man/transwoman expect his or her parents to pay for the hormones, and sex change operation?
People are going to blame the parents, their religion, or other issues on this severly mentally ill young man/woman; but in the end it was his/her choice to commit suicide in a selfish way that endangered the lives of others.
Mr-DJ
Sorry, but it is first and foremost, absolutely disrespectful and despicable to ever say that someone committing suicide was being selfish in doing so. And no matter what else you say, good or bad, counts any worth once you’ve made that proclamation. Please leave this conversation.
Clark35
I don’t care where anyone stands on this whole transgender issue (or whatever issue it is… like if the kid was gay, or just severely mentally ill) but I gotta say this: You gotta be one hell of a low life to send the family threats or publically insult them online at a time like this.
Bullying while accusing others of being the bullies has been a somewhat successful tactic of the lgbt/Trans subculture.
In fact there probably should be an investigation to determine whether Joshua discussed his plans with anyone who might have assisted in the wording of the post or suggested that if he was going to commit suicide anyway he should make it count. In other words to see if someone who could have alerted his parents chose to encourage him instead.
These trans people insulting his family, sending threats to them, or trolling online about them are not supporting Joshua they are exploiting his death pursuant to their own interests. Joshua is beyond support; beyond help; and these people have no right to interfere with his family.
Clark35
Worst media coverage of the year. The “I want my suicide to make a difference” bullshit is not something to reinforce to teenagers. It had to last until maybe June then it would be over. Instead some poor trucker got to kill a kid near Kings Island and live with that forever.
Taken from Josh/Leelah’s blog:
Then what? I’m going to turn 18 and have to pay a shit ton of money for an apartment, a car, health care, insurance, food and save up for college. I’ll have to pay a shit ton of money to buy the things that will make me want to continue living (wigs, women’s clothes, makeup) and I’ll have to save up tons of money over the next year. Then I’ll end up having to work multiple jobs (probably) to keep up with everything I need to buy. Plus I’m really fucking ugly and I’ll never get a boyfriend and I’ll just end up lonely for the rest of my life.
Why did Josh/Leelah not want to accept reality, that if you want to pay for things like housing, health care, food, clothing/makeup/wigs, etc. that you have to work, and save up money?
This young boy/girl had major problems and people are going to blame the parents and their religion; but Josh/Leelah had attempted suicide multiple times and sadly thought that suicide was the only way out of those issues and problems, and did not listen to people who said how there are other options besides suicide. Happiness comes from within, not from hormones, a sex change operation, wigs/clothing/makeup, a car, etc.
This kid was getting counseling, and on medications. She or he had attempted suicide multiple times before, and was told frequently by “friends” that she or he should just hang on for 6 months to a year and then go to college; but this gender confused girl/boy thought that superficial things like hormones, wigs/makeup, clothing, and a sex change bring happiness when happiness comes from within. Unfortunately he/she did not take anyone’s advice and picked the selfish way out and decided to kill himself or herself. May he/she rest in peace.
The only person responsible for Leelah’s death is Leelah herself.
She was angry and wanted to get back at her parents. Like shouting “I hate you!”, storming off and slamming the door. Hence the martyr-like suicide note, aimed solely at making the world hate her parents.
The rest of us don’t kill ourselves and eventually grow up.
Clark35
It’s nobody’s business what gets put on this young kid’s tombstone/grave anymore than it’s anyone else’s business what gets put onto yours.
Josh/Leelah thought that by writing a “will” in his suicide note that it would count; but in the state of Ohio this does not work since he was a juvenile under the age of 18.
Have trans activists actually read this kid’s website and blog postings? He was not banned from the internet, cellphone, or going out like trans people are now claiming. He was extremely suicidal, had tried to kill himself multiple times, thought that if he couldn’t have a sex change or take hormones or have everything in life handed to him life wasn’t worth living, and he made the selfish and cowardly decision to kill himself. No amount of medication, therapy, or even hormones or sex change would have stopped him from making the decision to kill himself. This is a teen suicide and the media does not need to be promoting the suicide of a teen that was angry at his parents, and who thought he was a “martyr” or that his suicide would actually change things when it was extremely pointless, and selfish. His parents just lost their kid have some compassion for them.
It’s sad that anyone would kill themselves, let alone kill themselves for the LGBT/Trans movement.
Clark35
Dan Savage is a media/attention whore, and only says things to get attention.
He’s also highly biphobic, transphobic, and ra cist.
His whole “It gets better” project is a total joke that he only made just to get fame and pretend he was actually giving a shit about LGBT youth and helping them, when that’s not working.
Everyone in the Pacific Northwest is sick of him. He’s not any sort of “leader” for the LGBT community either he just is a media/fame whore.
Ken A.
I see a future problem and that is kids are going to read his blog and think yeah, I’ll just cry a river and people will start a go fund me page if my parents yell at me or tell me no etc.
At the end of the day, Joshua was still a minor and was still under his parents guardianship by law. Actually that line is fuzzy now, 18 may not be the age of adulthood anymore since everything is being raised to 21 or 25.
I went through a period that I thought I was a girl, I dressed in female clothes and put on makeup and then I grew out of it. Adolescence is a confusing time for everyone. It certainly is no walk in the park, we all get through it. Now what if Joshua’s parents paid for the transition and the new she started to have second thoughts? Before going through a transition one has to go through 2 or 3 years of therapy before any procedures could be done.
Joshua wasn’t getting his own way, he felt sorry for himself, he was angry at his parents and thought this was a way to get even with them. He probably wanted someone to stop him before he did it but unfortunately it did not work out that way for him.
I feel bad for Joshua and the tragic end of his life. But it was a very misguided choice he made and now he’ll never know what his life would have been like.
The LGBT community is a little extreme at times. Making such a fiasco out of such a tragic life. We should be mourning the loss and not being angry at parents for choosing a name on a tombstone. We should be preventing further suicides instead of using them for our agenda. So very sad.
Clark35
It’s true that: xx=female, xy=male. Nothing you cut or tuck, or all the hormones you take can change that.
No medical procedure can change your chromosomes from male to female or vice versa.
I don’t think that suicide is the answer if someone’s trans.
But it’s not good for kids or teenagers to take hormones or think that they absolutely need a sex change operation.
Some trans people do think that once they transition fully or however much they want to-if at all-that life will be perfect but it’s not like that.
There are many people who have transitioned fully MTF they got the full sex change, and later regretted it.
This girl had loads of problems beyond her gender issues. She would have failed the psychological evaluation given to people before they get surgery. She wouldn’t have been any happier had she in fact transitioned, and she would have eventually killed herself since she did attempt it multiple times before and foolishly thought that by killing herself she’d become a martyr to the Trans movement.
jayj150
Well that’s real classy, harass a grieving(if imperfect) family when they are trying to process the loss of a child. And harass them to the point they haven’t even been able to plan a memorial service because of threats of violence and disturbance. You know who else likes to pull similar, heartless antics?. The Westboro Baptist Church. Thank you for proving you’re not any better. Oh and by the way, for those pushing this absurd demand, let me remind you that this child NEVER used the name Leelah with their family or friends, even his ‘supportive neighbor’ has consistently referred to Leelah as a male and has stated that he came out to him and his friends as a ‘gay guy’.
Ken A.
@Mr-DJ
It was selfish in the way he did it, jumping in front of a truck on a busy highway. This could have ended in more unnecessary tragedy if the truck veered and struck another car with children and pets in it and that car veered into another until you have a pile up. More unnecessary lives lost. But I don’t think that happened but what if it did?
Clark35
@Mr-DJ: It was selfish because this kid had lots of reasons to live, was told by friends and people on the internet to hold out for 5 or maybe 6 months and then go away to college at 18, he or she had friends and family members that cared for him/her, suicide is never an option and if someone thinks that it is or wants to commit suicide they should get help, this kid was getting help from a counselor and on medication, this kid had lots of reasons to live yet selfishly decided to kill himself or herself for no reason at all.
Suicide is a selfish choice since it effects the person’s friends and family, and the way this young person killed themselves also effected the life of the trucker who will probably lose his job, suffer from stress/trauma over killing a kid, and never work again as a trucker, and it could have been much worse like Ken A. posted about.
Magadriel
Suicide is a _desperate_ choice. Pretending to be dead in order to collect life insourance and hide away in a tropical paradise while everybody that knows you thinks you’re dead, that’s a selfish choice. I don’t see what this kid could possibly gain from this.
Depressed adults make unwise decisions all the time, at their own and other people’s detriment. Why would it occur to anybody that a troubled child (17-year-olds are still children) should somehow be more able to think things through?
None of you have the right to invalidate the tribulations of one who suffers. We know very little about what was going on in this young person’s life, and if some of you are still inclined to think that sex-change or hormones don’t make a person happy, be thankful that you’re a strange to the feeling of living a life that doesn’t belong to you. Show some compassion already.
Clark35
How sad that he never got the chance to grow and evolve. It blows my mind that the trans community is celebrating his suicide like it’s some kind of accomplishment, or like he’s a martyr. BTW has anyone heard what they’re saying about the unlucky driver who hit Josh? Tumblr’s trans community has apparently decided that he was transphobic.
@Magadriel: Nope hormones and a sex change operation do not make someone who is trans happy. Happiness comes from within, as does self-acceptance. Not all trans people decide to take hormones, or even get SRS, and those that do who are successful afterwards realize that they’re still the same person, happiness comes from yourself not from hormones or a sex change, and that life after transitioning isn’t perfect or that transitioning will not solve all of your problems.
Magadriel
I don’t think anyone is arguing that transitioning will solve all your problems, nor this kid’s problems. But it’s simply not up to you to decide what somebody else needs or doesn’t need in order to be happy. That’s a path to be discovered individually. If you have found yours, good for you. But don’t impose your ways on people who are still looking. Many trans people who have transitioned are happy with their choice; don’t put down their experience just because it’s not what you would choose for yourself.
Clark35
@Ratronaut: Anyone with any knowledge of the various social media platforms knows full well that Tumblr in particular has a highly virulent toxic culture of victimhood, mental illness, suicide, etc. that has become largely associated with teenagers and young adults using that platform.
Josh’s parents should have been monitoring his Tumblr since if they had been maybe he would not have been so selfish and put the lives of others in danger, and he would still be alive today.
It’s fucked up how Trans people and LGB trans allies are thinking this kid is a martyr or hero, or that his suicide actually accomplished something or will change society when it won’t.
leafshade
@aliengod:
Her parents should have no say in the matter, the reason parents decide on gravestones is usually because children aren’t there to be asked, she wrote a suicide note and talks about how she wasn’t understood was given christian “therapy” which is in no way medically certified trying to tell her she was male, and at the end she gave her dying wish, that her death benefit others in her position. Her parents should have no say in the matter.
LEELAH’S SUICIDE LETTER
If you are reading this, it means that I have committed suicide and obviously failed to delete this post from my queue.
Please don’t be sad, it’s for the better. The life I would’ve lived isn’t worth living in… because I’m transgender. I could go into detail explaining why I feel that way, but this note is probably going to be lengthy enough as it is. To put it simply, I feel like a girl trapped in a boy’s body, and I’ve felt that way ever since I was 4. I never knew there was a word for that feeling, nor was it possible for a boy to become a girl, so I never told anyone and I just continued to do traditionally ‘boyish’ things to try to fit in.
When I was 14, I learned what transgender meant and cried of happiness. After 10 years of confusion I finally understood who I was. I immediately told my mom, and she reacted extremely negatively, telling me that it was a phase, that I would never truly be a girl, that God doesn’t make mistakes, that I am wrong. If you are reading this, parents, please don’t tell this to your kids. Even if you are Christian or are against transgender people don’t ever say that to someone, especially your kid. That won’t do anything but make them hate them self. That’s exactly what it did to me.
My mom started taking me to a therapist, but would only take me to christian therapists, (who were all very biased) so I never actually got the therapy I needed to cure me of my depression. I only got more Christians telling me that I was selfish and wrong and that I should look to God for help.
When I was 16 I realized that my parents would never come around, and that I would have to wait until I was 18 to start any sort of transitioning treatment, which absolutely broke my heart. The longer you wait, the harder it is to transition. I felt hopeless, that I was just going to look like a man in drag for the rest of my life. On my 16th birthday, when I didn’t receive consent from my parents to start transitioning, I cried myself to sleep.
I formed a sort of a ‘f*** you’ attitude towards my parents and came out as gay at school, thinking that maybe if I eased into coming out as trans it would be less of a shock. Although the reaction from my friends was positive, my parents were pissed. They felt like I was attacking their image, and that I was an embarrassment to them. They wanted me to be their perfect little straight christian boy, and that’s obviously not what I wanted.
So they took me out of public school, took away my laptop and phone, and forbid me of getting on any sort of social media, completely isolating me from my friends. This was probably the part of my life when I was the most depressed, and I’m surprised I didn’t kill myself. I was completely alone for 5 months. No friends, no support, no love. Just my parent’s disappointment and the cruelty of loneliness.
At the end of the school year, my parents finally came around and gave me my phone and let me back on social media. I was excited, I finally had my friends back. They were extremely excited to see me and talk to me, but only at first. Eventually they realized they didn’t actually give a s**t about me, and I felt even lonelier than I did before. The only friends I thought I had only liked me because they saw me five times a week.
After a summer of having almost no friends plus the weight of having to think about college, save money for moving out, keep my grades up, go to church each week and feel like s**t because everyone there is against everything I live for, I have decided I’ve had enough. I’m never going to transition successfully, even when I move out. I’m never going to be happy with the way I look or sound. I’m never going to have enough friends to satisfy me. I’m never going to have enough love to satisfy me. I’m never going to find a man who loves me. I’m never going to be happy. Either I live the rest of my life as a lonely man who wishes he were a woman or I live my life as a lonelier woman who hates herself. There’s no winning. There’s no way out. I’m sad enough already, I don’t need my life to get any worse. People say ‘it gets better’ but that isn’t true in my case. It gets worse. Each day I get worse.
That’s the gist of it, that’s why I feel like killing myself. Sorry if that’s not a good enough reason for you, it’s good enough for me. As for my will, I want 100% of the things that I legally own to be sold and the money (plus my money in the bank) to be given to trans civil rights movements and support groups, I don’t give a s**t which one. The only way I will rest in peace is if one day transgender people aren’t treated the way I was, they’re treated like humans, with valid feelings and human rights. Gender needs to be taught about in schools, the earlier the better. My death needs to mean something. My death needs to be counted in the number of transgender people who commit suicide this year. I want someone to look at that number and say ‘that’s f***ed up’ and fix it. Fix society. Please.
Goodbye,
(Leelah) Josh Alcorn
Clark35
leafshade-It does not work that when when someone who is a juvenile or minor dies or commits suicide. Or it’s like ShowmeGuy posted how it’s nobody’s business what name they put onto a grave, or if they even have one.
Given how crazy Trans activists are being with this unfortunate event, if the family decides not to have a grave-site, or marker/tombstone for their kid I can see just why they would not do this and keep things private for their sake, and their dead son.
It’s very messed up how Trans people and LGB and hetero allies of Trans people are looking at this kid as though he’s a hero, martyr, or accomplished something with his suicide. Or how some are now claiming that the trucker who this kid used as a dangerous way to take his own life is “transphobic”.
aliengod
@leafshade: You’re wrong. It doesn’t matter what he wrote in his suicide note. He’s a minor and his parents have decided to place his real name on the tombstone.
Clark35
@aliengod: Trans people are mad at this too I’m sure but since he’s a minor despite how in the suicide note he said he wanted whatever money he had to go to Trans/LGBT community centers, that this is not going to happen since he’s a minor, it’s not an actual will, and in the state of Ohio a suicide note by a minor who is under 18 is not a will.
WadCheber
What Leelah dealt with was awful, but she had no right to make an innocent stranger go through the rest of his life with her death on his conscience. If you’re going to kill yourself, do it YOURSELF. Don’t drag random, uninvolved strangers into it.
WadCheber
@Mr-DJ: Wrong. It is absolutely correct to say that it is selfish and cruel to step in front of a truck driven by an innocent, uninvolved, random stranger. That driver has to live the rest of his life with a teenager’s death on his conscience. Leelah didn’t kill herself. She FORCED an innocent man to kill her and suffer the guilt of having done so for as long as he lives. That was an incredibly selfish, cruel, and cowardly thing for her to do. She suffered in life. She had a right to choose to die. But she had no right to force someone else to do her dirty work.
jockjack5
Amen.
Suicide is the epitome of selfishness and self-centeredness and her final “act” speaks for itself.
God rest her tortured soul.