CEREAL KILLERS

Open Letter “Praises” Minnesota Anti-Gay Group’s Campaign Against General Mills

At the end of June, a young activist showed up at General Mills headquarters in Minnesota to address anti-gay protestors from Minnesota For Marriage, who were chastising the breakfast-cereal company for standing against a proposed ban on marriage equality. Rather than engage the “Dump General Mills” crowd, this daring youth sprinkled the haters with glitter, like some giant kindergarten project.

Today, we received an open letter addressing MFM and the “vicious” attack that left tens of people mildly irritated. At first we didn’t know whether to laugh or be outraged. Hey, it’s Friday.

Here’s the letter:

Dear Minnesota For Marriage,

First of all, let me applaud you for courageously standing up for marriage, a sacred institution that has been under malicious attack since the dawn of time.

The veracity of this attack was seen most recently during your protest outside the offices of General Mills, when a young teenage girl and/or boy (you can never tell with the gays) viciously glittered seniors and young children. Some, as your Web site notes, were even “as young as three.” If I’ve learned one thing in life, it’s that young children HATE glitter, and generally consider it assault, as do we, when they get it all over themselves.

It took a lot of courage, like soldier-going-overseas-and-getting-shot-at courage, to stand up against such a flamboyant assault on democracy. How I wish I could have seen the faces of all those “hundreds of protestors” you bragged about on your site. Unfortunately, it seems the ultra wide-angle shot of the group you posted to your site only managed to get about 25 people in it…

And don’t get me started on the audacity of General Mills. Who do they think they are opposing this amendment by saying things like “We value diversity. We value inclusion. We always have and we always will.” Are those things Jesus would have stood for? I don’t think so. And are those the kind of values we want to teach our now-covered-in-glitter-get-your-freakin-hands-out-of-your-nose-I-wish-I-would-have-never-given-you-this-art-project children?

I think not.

Click through to read more of the letter

Photo: Minnesota for Marriage