GETTING OWN'D

The 10 Best/Worst Things About Oprah’s Interview With Lindsay Lohan

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Lindsay Lohan, a homunculus made out of leftover unused collagen implants (just kidding, she looks great…ish!), was interviewed by Oprah Winfrey last night. Starting with a melodramatic montage tracing the melancholy starlet from childhood to meltdown, big O is not messing around and immediately drilled into Lilo; whatever stylist decided that Lohan should wear a prison-orange dress certainly has a sense of irony. Although Lohan’s answers were, more often than not, generic addict-in-recovery talk, the interview revealed some fascinating moments.

Here are the top ten most interesting/awful/amazing facts about the interview.

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1. When asked about what her main addiction is, Lohan confidently assured Oprah that alcohol is the biggest substance problem in her life, and that everything else was supplementary. More specifically, she revealed: “I really haven’t done [cocaine] (short but dramatic pause) more than ten to fifteen times.”

553648-lindsay-lohan2. Lindsay may or may not have been wearing a bra. This is up for debate.

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3. Lohan referred to her lawyer, Shawn Holley, as “like family.” While it seems like an obvious problem when you are as close with your lawyer as you are with your siblings, a quick search reveals that Holley specializes in celebrity issues and her list of clients is exhaustive: OJ, Paris, Nicole Ritchie, Michelle Rodriguez, Michael Jackson, Tupac, Snoop Dog, The Game, Axel Rose, Mike Tyson.

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4. Oprah didn’t have too much to say about The Canyons other than that it was “Pretty out there, sister girl.” We can’t disagree with Oprah on this one.

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5. Lindsay was prescribed (and probably abusing) Adderall for ADD. She is now off the drug.

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6. Lindsay does not think that her parents are to blame for her problems, and they have all since reconciled.

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7. During the interview, more than one commercial aired for rehab facilities in Malibu. So, that’s not shady at all.

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8. In between her many court dates, Lindsay was in India, filming a documentary about human trafficking. While her intentions were probably good, we can’t confirm that any one earth has ever actually seen this documentary.

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9. Oprah’s tone throughout the interview came off as vaguely condescending, like a therapist talking shit on her older therapist. This patronizing tone came to it’s zenith when Oprah pressured LiLo into canceling a vacation to Europe that was scheduled to take place after the interview.

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10. No details were revealed about the upcoming series about LiLo that the OWN network will be producing

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