Brenden Moon knew he was attracted to guys since he was in the sixth grade, but he kept his feelings buried for many years.
“I just don’t share deep issues with people,” he tells the Simpsonian, a student-run newspaper at Simpson College in Indianola, Iowa.
In high school, he joined his school’s football team, where he played defensive end, linebacker, and then running back. As an athlete, Moon explains, he was able to keep his sexual orientation hidden since he was supposed to be “tough” and “a big, strong guy.”
During his senior year, he told three of his teammates about his sexual orientation. Two of the teammates said they never wanted to talk to him again. Meanwhile, the third one began telling everyone else at school.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Soon, Moon began to feel like an outcast.
“It was a disappointment,” Moon says, “It was a friend I thought I could trust. You always want to be the person to tell.”
After graduating, he headed off to college. He saw it as a fresh start. Only this time, rather than being outed by someone else, Moon decided to be up front with people from the get-go.
He joined the school’s football team and came out to some of his teammates. He also came out to his two roommates, who both said it didn’t matter.
Then one day someone wrote the word “Go to hell, f*g” on a whiteboard outside his dorm room. And, just like that, the feelings Moon had experienced in high school once again returned.
“Part of me kind of felt outcast because of what happened,” he says.
Moon sunk into a depression. Then one day out of the blue he received a text message from his teammate, Andrew. It said, “Hey, can you come over to the fraternity?”
The teammate was a brother at Alpha Tau Omega. Moon would often hang out at the house, so he figured he had left something there that his friend wanted to return to him.
When he arrived at the house, Andrew handed him an envelope. Inside was a bid to join Alpha Tau Omega. A wave of emotions washed over him.
“That was probably the first time since I was in sixth grade that I cried because I felt accepted but it also gave me a chance to get a fresh start,” Moon explains.
Andrew explained that everyone in the fraternity thought he was a great guy and would make an excellent addition to the house. When Moon asked if they knew he was gay, Andrew replied, “We had a discussion about that. I’m not supposed to tell you, but all 30 guys voted ‘yes’ anyway. They don’t care, because they accept you anyway.”
Four years later, Moon has fully accepted who he is and is preparing to graduate.
In a recent Facebook post, he wrote “I struggled for years trying to figure out why I was different, why my mind doesn’t work the same as other guys… I managed to overcome my anxiety, my fears and depression.”
“It takes a certain strength to come out, and you can’t fully come out until you accept who you are,” Moon tells the Simpsonian. “It’s fun to be gay. I think it is, mostly because I am happy with who I am.”
Related: Super cute professional baseball player comes out on live TV
Photo credit: Simpsonian
Jere
I realize that this isn’t the point of the article and that we should all be thrilled at the progress that we’ve made as a minority group, but…the frat voted to accept him “anyway?” They don’t care, because they accept him “anyway.” Here’s how that translates for me: “You’re a horrible person who does terrible, unspeakable things and, normally, you’d be the campus pariah, but we knew you before, and we like you in spite of all that and we accept you anyway.” I’ve always been a “words mean things” kind of guy and the way that frat guy phrased those words doesn’t sound great. I feel like the footballer should have responded “Oh, you accept me ‘anyway?’ Well, f–k you! There’s nothing wrong with me and if you have to accept me “anyway,” you can all go to hell and take your smelly frat house with you!”
Mo Bro
I believe you’re misreading the context. I’m sure what his frat bros meant was, “We accept you despite the fact that you might feel we’d be otherwise leery of doing so.”
Stenar
Also, Moon is paraphrasing what his fraternity brother said. He might not have said anyway. Maybe the “anyway” is what Moon felt inside.
Jack Meoff
Jere as this is third hand information it may have lost something in the translation but I do know what you mean. In my younger years my social circle was quite mixed (gay/straight) and one of the guys once said to me ‘I don’t normally like gay guys but you’re all right’. I instantly felt both insulted and like I must be abnormal in some way for not being like other gay guys. He didn’t know what he said was actually an insult and not a compliment so I said nothing but I always viewed him as an uniformed fool after that.
Heywood Jablowme
Maybe they accepted him “anyway” even though he wasn’t all that good at the homoerotic, totally queer hazing rituals? LOL.
He BGB
I wasn’t a fan of sororities and fraternities in college. But I’m glad for him and times have changed. I remember talking to a guy when I first went to college and he asked me what fraternity I belonged to and when I said I didn’t he ran away. I had f*g written in my dormdoor first day in college and then my roommate wanted me to find somewhere else to live. I was glad to get away. That was 1976 at UGA. I wonder how things have changed. I always thought Morgan Fairchild in The Initiation of Sara was a perfect example of a real sorority girl. That movie was 1977.
btrmale
Sure glad you feel accepted! Especially in these Trump days (and WORSE the Vice President who protests too much–he’s got lots of gay in that horrible little man). You’re a great looking guy too. You should bee proud to be you!!!
batesmotel
What the heck does that have to do with this story?
Mo Bro
I had no bad experiences pre-college, and though I wasn’t up-front with my frat bros from the get-go, circumstances led to my extra-curricular activities being found out, and not one person has had a negative reaction. Instead, I’ve been dubbed Mo Bro (not the first one in the frat, either), and while there might be some playful ribbing on the subject, there’s never any bigotry. Very few people even give a rat’s ass who sleeps with whom, anyway.
fredo777
Completely off-topic, but he is quite handsome. Regardless, though, what’s important is that he has learned to love himself for who he is, which is truly beautiful.
John
I know how terrible when you first come out, it turned out bad for me but I came out everybody at 25 most said they had no problems, but then they go out of your life very quickly. I felt a lot of anxiety, depression then thought I could move and change, it has a lot of what society wherever you are. I wish you all the luck for the future you deserve it and much more. You got through the hard part, the next is dating it can be so either really bad if you go to fast, or go slow and learn about the person but its all in the personality. Add me to facebook if you like John Chubb
John
I am an old fart but I was/am part of the Alpha Tau family also. We had multiple gay brothers (and this was in the 80’s) and I am still close to many of my brothers. Go Taus!