Paris Out!

Oh, Paris! You’re such a scamp. Look at that adorable, “Who, me?” pose you’ve polished while in prison!! Priceless!

Good to know you kept yourself occupied all those three weeks. We were getting a little worried you’re brain would explode with inactivity. You’re so cute, we almost forgot that we’ve seen you getting fucked – and, of course, that we think you’re a total cooze.

So, what are you going to do now that you’re an ex-con? What’s that? You’re going to keep on doing nothing with your life except for posing adorably? Super!

(PS: As of right now, there are 610 international news stories about Hilton’s release. Just a little factoid to make us all feel a little less significant. Whee!)