Satanic attacks are always intense, but when it’s a concentrated Satanic attack? That’s hardly ever good news.
Donald Trump, currently running for President, is allegedly right in the middle of one of these hardcore “concentrated Satanic attacks,” which may partly explain why his flesh is the color of a wintry citrus parfait.
At some sort of crackpot powwow in Cleveland on Wednesday, an evangelical pastor named Darrell Scott claimed that five years ago, an anonymous “nationally known preacher” promised that if Trump ran for the presidency, he’d face a “concentrated Satanic attack,” according to Right Wing Watch.
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This mysterious unnamed preacher warned of “a demon, principalities and powers, that are going to war against you on a level that you’ve never seen before.”
“I’m watching it every day,” Scott says, vaguely.
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In order to combat the forces of evil, Pastor Scott does what any totally fucking nuts person in their right mind would do: He threw an impromptu ritual where a select band of minions touched the real, honest-to-God, ever-bristly Donald Trump as the pastor’s wife Belinda begged the powers that be to “give him the anointing to lead this nation.”
Right, because that doesn’t sound Satanic at all.
Watch:
Hussain-TheCanadian
Is this like a Republican initiation ritual? What is going to happen next? Are they going to bring out the snakes, the scorpions, and the tarantellas?
dwes09
@Hussain-TheCanadian: Actually, the tarantella is a kind of Italian folk dance dating back to early medieval times and perhaps even further. One would not expect the republican/alt-right folks to have either the knowledge or respect for history to know this. They seem to live in an eternal present where facts are subservient to myths, superstitions and fears. You see that clearly in several of the posters here ;-).
But it would not be surprising if Trump made an appearance at a “church” where snake handling, talking in tongues and all that other primitive christian stuff was practiced. Good bet that the pastor who arranged the exorcism already is a “tongue-talker” (or perhaps like Trump simply speaks with a forked tongue).
Hussain-TheCanadian
@dwes09: That’s true Dwes; I don’t know what I was thinking when I said those folks would know anything about the tarantella, let alone Italy, its culture or heritage – I won’t be shocked if Trump would answer with “Spaghetti” if someone half competent asked him about what does Italy exports.
P.S.
No self respecting “demon” would ever come near Trump, too toxic.
Jack Meoff
And to think that people actually support this man for the Presidency.
Bob LaBlah
@Jack Meoff: As the party of no, the GOP, smirked on look what slithered out of the grass and is about to take the prize. This is what happens when leaders are not groomed to take over.
Kangol
@Bob LaBlah: Is that Satan on Drumpf’s head.
PS: I bet these snake handlers aren’t fans of gay people, including the alt-reich Breitbart hom0nationalists!
Realitycheck
Satanic attacks ??? LOL If only…. ROTFLMAO
dvlaries
Ponder the required degree of willful stupid to suppose Trump recognizes any god but money.
Bob LaBlah
@Kangol: “Snake handlers?”
Honey, are you aware of the “type” of church he is in when this video was taken? Are you sure THATS what you meant?
charlie_ammen
Breaking News: Satan attacks himself!