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Pastor Tom Brock: ‘I Am A 57-Year-Old Virgin’

Thank goodness Jesus is a forgiving man, otherwise Lutheran Pastor Tom Brock, who was given some time off after “slipping in Slovakia,” wouldn’t have been able to return to the church. But there he is!

Nobody really expected Brock to lose his job after his superiors signaled they weren’t out for revenge over Lavender magazine June’s expose that had Brock attending a faith-based meeting for “recovering gays” and hinting at some man-on-man love.

So he was back at the pulpit Sunday, telling his congregation, “I am a 57-year-old virgin.” Which begs the question: Are we talking the Bible-based definition of virgin, or something else? (The church says its investigation, which won’t be made public, found no evidence Brock had sex with men.)

Brock, who believes humans are all born heterosexual and then “something goes wrong,” says he’s known he’s been sexually attracted to men for years but never acted on it.

Thankfully Brock isn’t going to let a little dude attraction get in the way of his career his service to the lord: He wants to take his local cable access show to a wider national audience and tell viewers, “You can have this struggle with same-sex attraction, say no to it, and still follow Christ.”


      “I did not have sex with that man”………hmmm, where have I heard that kind of bobin’ and weavin’ before.………

      Aug 3, 2010 at 9:57 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Andrew

      Exactly. And as for all those ‘recovering gays’ very rarely have I ever heard them say ‘I am just totally attracted to women/men now!’ usually they say something like ‘I don’t act on the urges now!’

      Recovering, or just denial?

      Aug 3, 2010 at 10:07 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ponyboy

      I have met more than one Christian who has told me that sleeping with men “didn’t count” as losing my virginity and since I’d never been with a woman I was still a virgin.

      Aug 3, 2010 at 10:30 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Sug Night

      If it’s true, that explains a LOT…

      Aug 3, 2010 at 10:34 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jim

      Poor bastard needs to get laid baaaaad.

      Aug 3, 2010 at 10:36 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Xerxes

      The only six inches of him that are still virgin are between his lower esophagus and his small intestine.

      Aug 3, 2010 at 10:55 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ogre Magi

      I think for that man sex is a misdemeanor: De more he miss de meaner he gets!

      Aug 3, 2010 at 11:01 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • horus

      sure U R pastor Tom ;) now S**K IT

      Aug 3, 2010 at 11:35 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Joe

      if he weren’t such a douche bag, he’d be kinda sexy

      Aug 3, 2010 at 12:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Queixa

      Matthew 5:28 — But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a man to lust after him hath committed adultery with him already in his heart.

      Oh, but that Bible verse doesn’t apply, because it’s inconvenient. Vucking hypocrite! (excuse my typo).

      I’m gay and atheist, and I find this kind of hypocrisy offensive.

      Aug 3, 2010 at 12:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bill

      A sad, pathetic, shell of a human being, this one.

      Try and imagine what his daily life must be like. Emotional pain from sun up to sun down every single day without respite.

      I can’t really feel sorry for him, however, because he sits in a prison cell that he built for himself.

      Aug 3, 2010 at 12:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • GEW

      Colour me unimpressed.

      Aug 3, 2010 at 2:20 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Drake

      Sounds like one of those guys who tells each anonymous partner, “This is my first time.”

      Aug 3, 2010 at 3:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • L.

      @Drake: Well, technically he is, if he keeps rebirthing himself as a virgin every time :)

      Aug 3, 2010 at 4:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Robert

      What makes me mad the most is that morons like Tom Brock mis-define homosexuality as a “behavior” rather than an “orientation.”

      If he gets a hard-on looking at gay porn, and not straight porn, then he’s gay. And Jesus’s own word confirmed (Matt 5:28) that what really counts is what is in people’s hearts, not whether they act on it.

      So Tom Brock is GAY.

      Aug 3, 2010 at 4:38 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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