grand returns

Pastor Tom Brock: ‘I Am A 57-Year-Old Virgin’

Thank goodness Jesus is a forgiving man, otherwise Lutheran Pastor Tom Brock, who was given some time off after “slipping in Slovakia,” wouldn’t have been able to return to the church. But there he is!

Nobody really expected Brock to lose his job after his superiors signaled they weren’t out for revenge over Lavender magazine June’s expose that had Brock attending a faith-based meeting for “recovering gays” and hinting at some man-on-man love.

So he was back at the pulpit Sunday, telling his congregation, “I am a 57-year-old virgin.” Which begs the question: Are we talking the Bible-based definition of virgin, or something else? (The church says its investigation, which won’t be made public, found no evidence Brock had sex with men.)

Brock, who believes humans are all born heterosexual and then “something goes wrong,” says he’s known he’s been sexually attracted to men for years but never acted on it.

Thankfully Brock isn’t going to let a little dude attraction get in the way of his career his service to the lord: He wants to take his local cable access show to a wider national audience and tell viewers, “You can have this struggle with same-sex attraction, say no to it, and still follow Christ.”