Pat Robertson Thinks “Jesus Never Would Have Baked A Gay Wedding Cake!”

Once again, televangelist Pat Robertson opened his mouth and the shit just flew.

Today on the 700 Club, the 84-year-old host said Jesus never would have baked a gay wedding cake. And not because ovens hadn’t been invented yet, or because he was a carpenter, but because gay people would have been murdered long before making it that close to the alter, according to a report by Right Wing Watch.

“If you look carefully at the Bible, what would have happened in Jesus’ time if two men decided they wanted to cohabit together?” Roberston asked. “They would have been stoned to death. So Jesus would not have baked them a wedding cake nor would he have made them a bed to sleep in because they wouldn’t have been there.”

Robertson then added: “But we don’t have that in this country here so that’s the way it is.”

Yes, unfortunately, Mr. Robertson, we don’t stone gay people anymore. And as a result, we have gay wedding cakes. But surely that doesn’t signify the end of the world. Oh wait! According to Pat it does. He continued:

“What is it about gays? What is it about abortion? Have you ever thought why they’re on the forefront right now? Both of them deny the reproduction of human species.”

Homosexuality, he claimed, is “a meaningless exercise because it doesn’t go anywhere!”

“The Devil is trying to say, ‘I’m going to destroy your progeny any way I can. If you will kill your babies, that’s fine, I’m with you; if you will deny the chance of having babies, that’s fine too; but I want to destroy your opportunities to reproduce,’” Robertson claimed. “It’s a very serious thing and we’re not talking about it, and we need to as a society, we have to realize where the attack is coming because it is definitely an attack!”

Co-host Wendy Griffith nodded in agreement. “The Devil wants to steal, kill, and destroy. Well said, Pat.”

See the video below.

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  • Zodinsbrother

    Um, there are examples of men marrying each other in Jesus’ time.

  • macmantoo

    Personally I don’t think Jesus would have listened to Pat Robertson.

  • SteveDenver

    What a dodering old fool! Keep it up, Pat; people think religious loudmouths like you are idiots: “Stereotypes exist for a reason.”

  • blakes2010

    Well of course he wouldn’t have baked one.

    After all he was a carpenter, not a baker.

  • SteveDenver

    Pat decries homosexuality and abortion because they impede human reproduction? SO DOES OLD AGE!

  • hyhybt

    @blakes2010: What I’ve said before when people ask if Jesus would have baked a cake for a gay wedding: of course he wouldn’t. Everybody knows that at weddings he supplies the wine.

  • hyhybt

    Hold on, the headline is wrong. It says Pat Robertson thinks.

  • nss9989

    “They would have been stoned to death. So Jesus would not have baked them a wedding cake nor would he have made them a bed to sleep in because they wouldn’t have been there.”

    Other people who wouldn’t be here if we followed the laws of the Bible: adulterers, women who lie about being virgins to their husbands, female rape victims in cities (because apparently had she not wanted it she would have screamed and been saved), people who work on the Sabbath and anyone who curses either of their parents among many many others. Don’t see anyone claiming we should stone any of those people or deny them any rights.

    Also in regards to stoning people I believe Jesus actually said “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone” not “stone the gays” as that kind of went against his whole love everyone and don’t judge people thing. Funny how these “Christians” completely miss the point of Christianity and like to focus on everything in the Bible except what Jesus explicitly said.

  • blondeboyz

    Fred Phelps is waiting for you Patty. Hurry!

  • hyhybt

    I just realized he’s the same age as Phelps.

    (For whom I just saw a great obituary cartoon: St. Peter introducing him to his new roommates, Adam and Steve.)

  • newecreator

    Jesus can’t bake a cake! He’s a carpenter they said!

  • Tackle

    Of course the so-called Jesus would never have baked a gay,lesbian or straight wedding cake. And he would have never built a chair or any item made of wood. The Jesus of the Christian bible is a fictionalise character who never existed.

  • Gigi Gee

    The historical Jesus of Nazareth was a carpenter, not a baker.

  • mcflyer54

    Actually Robertson is probably right on this one. Jesus would have done an all out spread. Of course, bread and fish, probably would have made the wine himself. After all, look what he did for the last supper and the consequences of that were far greater (at least for him) than a gay wedding.

  • Ben Dover

    How about a nice rugelach or some hamentaschen?

  • mcflyer54

    @nss9989: And, since Jesus was supposed to be without sin, he would have been the first to cast a stone and there is no evidence in the Bible of that ever happening. So, either Pat is lying or he knows something about Jesus that nobody else knows.

Comments are closed.