Pat Robertson Will Leg Press You STRAIGHT TO HELL!

pat-robertson-leg-pressIt’s a known fact that Pat Robertson is the oldest person in the history of the world. The man baby-sat Methuselah for God’s sake. He’s older than dirt, dust and democracy. Even though he’s been camped out at Death’s door for literally a thousand years, everyone’s favorite televangelist can still choke a bear out with his thighs. I wonder if that’s how he won that tag-team match with Jacob against the angel?

On Tuesday’s 700 Club, Robertson took some time out from his usual incoherent ramblings to humble-brag about his workout routine: “A few years ago I did some pretty heavy stuffy, I used to, my leg presses, warm up with 500 lbs. and I went up from there, I did 30 reps of 1,000 lbs.”

Proof that he’s getting old(er), back in 2006 Robertson claimed he was pressing 2,000 lbs, even though the world record at the time was a measly 1,335 lbs. For whatever reason, some have called bullshit on Robertson’s wheels of steel, but you’ve seen those guys who break bricks with their heads and bend bars with their necks with only the help of the Lord. Sure, they’re all like 400 lbs and not at all gay, but for someone like Pat Robertson — who’s like this with the man upstairs — he can do whatever he wants…us to believe he can do.

Check out Pat “Thunder Thighs” Robertson talking about his fitness game, courtesy of Right Wing Watch:

“Pat, you’re one of the healthiest guys around…”

pat-robertson-healthyAround where exactly?