Patrick McHenry’s Very Gay Voter Fraud Scandal

Republican Patrick McHenry may redefine “totally and irreversibly fucked”. The North Carolina representative has found himself in the middle of both a voter fraud and a gay sex scandal. CBS first broke the story on Friday, reporting that McHenry’s former aide, 26-year old Michael Aaron Lay, has been indicted for voter fraud.

The indictment charges that [Lay] illegally cast his ballot in two 2004 Congressional primary run-offs in which McHenry was a candidate. The charges indicate that Lay voted in a district where it was not legal for him to vote.

At the time Lay was listed as a resident in a home owned by 32-year-old McHenry but campaign records indicate Lay’s paychecks were sent to an address in Tennessee. McHenry won the primary by only 86 votes. According to Gaston County, North Carolina District Attorney Locke Bell, Lay was indicted on Monday, May 7 by a local grand jury.

Too add innuendo to injury, Lay wasn’t the only young man living at McHenry’s house, proving that no one goes down quite like a Republican.

The news hounds over at BlogActive report that McHenry shacked up with at least three other “aides”: Neil Everett Capano, Matthew Allen Hamilton and his campaign manager, Jason Jent Deans. All four men – Capano, Hamilton, Deans and the appropriately named Lay – used McHenry’s address on their voter registration. Meanwhile, Lay and Dean were both on McHenry’s payroll.

Of course, the men could just be working there, right? Well, yes, but Blogactive’s Michael Rogers hears that McHenry’s a bit bent:

I’ve received tons of tips from across the state, including one from an elected official who told me, “I can tell you Patrick McHenry is gay. I’ve known him long enough to know.”

(Rogers also posted this link to McHenry going head-to-head with openly gay politico, Barney Frank. Frank ain’t having it.)

In light of these allegations, McHenry – a man who once referred to fellow Republican and disgraced Congressman, Mark Foley as an “obscure congressman from Florida” – released a statement:

Aaron is an ethical law student whom I know to be a good Christian and law-abiding citizen. It’s unfortunate that political opponents chose to target this young man in order to attack me. In the end, the facts and the law are on the side of this decent, law-abiding student, and he will be found innocent of this baseless attack.

Well, Lay’s not that law-abiding. According to documents over at The Conservative News, the legally-minded student used McHenry’s address to get a state tuition at University of North Carolina. However, he maintained his Tennessee driver’s license. Authorities eventually realized the discrepancy and sent him back to Tennessee to finish school. No charges were filed until now, which justifies McHenry’s conspiracy theory.

McHenry’s aforementioned campaign manager and roomie, Jason Deans echoes his bosses suspicions:

This is the culmination of a three-year smear campaign against Congressman McHenry, his campaign workers and supporters. This case is much like the Duke lacrosse case in that a politically-motivated district attorney sought an indictment against a young man without even granting him an interview.

This whole episode is nothing more than a shameful political witch hunt that could sully a young man’s career. The congressman’s political opponents have repeatedly distributed misleading material about these false allegations, almost perfectly synchronized with the questionable actions of the district attorney.

Deans fails to mention – as Blogactive does – that he recently changed the address on voter registration. What impeccable timing.

Speaking of superlatives: Deans describes the charges as “perfectly synchonized”. We’d like to say that they’re beautifully synchronized – and we’re not talking about timing. This may prove to be one of the most scandalous of all gay political scandals. We just need some proof that McHenry – a staunch supporter of traditional rights and Christian morality – stuck his aides in the ass. Some incriminating emails, a voice mail, maybe even a video.

Wait…that would then mean we’d have to watch McHenry having sex, which would effectively destroy any and all chances of us using our sperm for breeding purposes. Not that we’d ever do something so reproductive…

For more on this scintillating scandal, check out InterstateQ’s coverage. (In addition to all of our other fabulous sources, of course.) Be sure to pay attention to Lay’s early morning parking ticket…