Paula's Plight

Paula Deen Empathizes With Duck Dynasty And “That Black Football Player,” Really Wants You To Like Her

Screen Shot 2014-02-27 at 11.23.07 AMCelebrity type 2 diabetic chef Paula Deen really wants you to like her.

That racial slur she admitted to using was like, “a long time ago,” as she puts it, and she’s really, really sorry. Really. She says so herself in a People Magazine cover story:

“Some people said I never apologized. If anyone did not hear me, I want to apologize. I would never ever hurt anyone intentionally. Never!”

Besides the fact that wanting to apologize isn’t exactly the same thing as apologizing, let’s assume that she really is sorry for the right reasons (big assumption). She’s still missing the mark.

After securing a new contract with private investment firm Najafi Companies to the tune of $75-100 million, Deen still isn’t happy with how she’s perceived. It could be comments like these that don’t quite have us convinced of the wholesome image she so desperately wants back — speaking first about Duck Dynasty‘s homophobic Phil Robertson:

“It’s amazing that some people are given passes and some people are crucified.”

Then about NFL draft hopeful Michael Sam:

“I feel like ’embattled’ or ‘disgraced’ will always follow my name. It’s like that black football player who recently came out. He said, ‘I just want to be known as a football player. I don’t want to be known as a gay football player.’ I know exactly what he’s saying.”

Call it a hunch, Paula, but our guess is he doesn’t want to be known as “that black football player” either.

Stick to the biscuits. Or don’t.