“Penis Advantage” Promises To Increase Your Girth With “Highly Secret” Exercises… Or Something

We recently stumbled across Penis Advantage, an online company dedicated to helping men naturally increase the length and girth of their penises, as well as help them achieve more powerful orgasms, restore foreskin, and “make women ‘gasp’ when they see how HUGE you are!”

That sounds pretty good to us. (Aside from the making women gasp thing.)

According to the company’s website, “most men, including you, have very underdeveloped, unfit penises.”

Who knew?

But Penis Advantage promises to help change that for the low, low price of $79.95 $49.95!

It’s unclear from the website what exactly a person gets for their $49.95, but from what we could piece together, it seems to be lifetime access to an online vault of various “highly secret” penis exercises to try at home. Plus “three free secret bonuses” if you order before midnight tonight… or last night… or tomorrow night.

The website boasts a 98.6 percent “satisfaction rate” (not bad!) with over 56,000 men (impressive!) who claim to have used Penis Advantage successfully. The program also comes with 24-hour e-mail support for anyone doing late night penis exercises.

Men over the age of 18 can use Penis Advantage. “We have many members in their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s, 70’s and beyond!” the website claims.

But only serious inquiries need apply, because according to the company’s website, “This program is ONLY for those men who SERIOUSLY want to enlarge their erections! If you are NOT 100% serious about penis enhancement then you must leave now!”

We know what we’re asking for this Christmas!