OPPOSITES ATTRACT

People Actually Buy College Student’s Batsh*t Theory On The “Unnaturalness” Of Homosexuality

magnetoEpistemological categories of knowledge or Wittgensteinian linguistics aside, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that magnetic fields (no, not the band) and homosexuality have little to no relation scientifically. However, a postgraduate student in Nigeria has come to the succinct conclusion that magnets, because they repel those of the same type, prove that homosexuality is unnatural.

Clearly someone’s never heard of the classic 1989 pop track by Paula Abdul featuring MC Skat Kat, “Opposites Attract.”

In an interview with This Daily Live, Chibuihem Amalaha, a student at the University of Lagos, claims that, “In recent time I found that gay marriage, which is homosexuality and lesbianism, is eating deep into the fabric of our human nature all over the world and this was why nations of Sodom and Gomora were destroyed by God because they were into gay practice.”  Which is clearly a very scientific opinion to hold and is not problematic in any way, shape or form.

Perhaps the scariest part of the story, however, is not the insane and backwards opinion of one post-grad student, but the support he is being given from his institution. Says Mr. Amalaha: “Recently my lecturer at the Department of Chemical Engineering, Profesor D S Aribuike, pointedly told me that I will win Nobel prize one day, because he found that my works are real and nobody has done it in any part of the world.”

South African LGBT(Q+) activist Luiz DeBarros had this to say as a response: “It’s debatable as to whether the embarrassing article is more damming [sic] of the standard of education at the University of Lagos or of the standard of journalism at This Day … The uncritical and uninformed article is likely to add to the ignorance and prejudice surrounding homosexuality in Nigeria.”

In all fairness, we’re sure this research would be taken just as seriously in certain parts of these United States, and there are certainly a few GOP politicians who would love to include this “groundbreaking” theory in the school curriculum.

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18 Comments

  • daltro305

    As if we needed this to prove that a degree from Nigeria has the value and function of a roll of Charmin.

  • TampaBayTed

    And the folks that believe such tomfoolery probably also believe that they can handle deadly serpents with impunity.

  • KentonForshee

    I bet this is another scam by the Nigerian royal family. ;)

  • Liam Sauer-Wooden

    Stupid is as stupid does. We all know how the world is clamoring to study at the University of Legos due to its high standards of academia.

    Using this logic, non-white people are in need of being scrubbed and bleached.

  • GlitterKidder

    Nigeria? Seriously? And who is listening to this freak? And I’m forced to read this why? Come on Queerty this is another nonsense story. No Nick? No Mr. Klein? Slow news day?

  • Dxley

    South Africa has about 7 if not 10 of its universities in the top ten universities in Africa, and it recognises gay marriage, the only African country that does. It also has the strongest economy and it’s a great holiday destination. This just shows you that equality helps a nation progress. I think Nigerians are so stupid that they confuse humans with magnets. Is there any race besides black there? “I will win a Nobel prize one day” ha ha ha ha. This is so stupid, it’s actually hilarious!

  • Polaro

    Well, another great article where, unlike most of the time, I agree with everyone of you! Nothing good every came out of Nigeria, ever.

  • Scribe38

    @Dxley: Nigeria and Russia should get gay married.

  • dbmyers

    The premise of this ridiculous “theory” is disproven by the reactions of its “followers” who are all the same (right-wing, homophobic, stupid, and inane), yet they all flock to each other because they are the same (when according to their “theory”, because they are the same, they should be repelling each other). Hilarious! Stupidity taken to the ultimate extreme. They should follow each other over the cliff of ignorance, since they are all lemmings anyway.

  • spacegod

    @GlitterKidder:
    If you had read this story rather than wasting your time whining about it being a waste of your time, you might have seen the larger implications.

    And I happen to enjoy this kind of story.
    So your opinion doesn’t count. Unless it agrees with mine.

  • ttzach

    @Dxley: Yes, let’s fight homophobia with racism…..idiot. “I think Nigerians are so stupid that they confuse humans with magnets. Is there any race besides black there?” The article is talking about a very small percentage of Nigerians. I highly doubt you personally know many NIgerians, so keep your uniformed opinions to yourself. This is why we have so many problems, people hear about some incident in another country or a crime committed by someone of a certain race, and automatically and incorrectly assume all people of that country/race are the same…

  • D9W

    I bet the idiot has never heard of monopole magnets but again it has nothing to do with humans.

  • Dxley

    ttzach: You’re fucking stupid if you think that “the article is talking about a very small percentage of Nigerians.”. The majority of Nigerians are homophobic and they would rather hear that their parents were diagnosed with malignant cancer than hear a family member is gay. The “educated” are even against us, what about those with blank heads from the rural areas? Fact is: Black Africans think relationships are just about sex. Most of them don’t even know what a kiss is? Do they even know what a toothbrush is? A toothpaste? I’ll personally never date any African person, just MAYBE a South African. Nigeria is homophobic and I’ll be rac*st. Just how it works!

  • Jake357

    So many brilliant minds in Nigeria, a country that has as its motto: Where a little bit of knowledge can be a dangerous thing.

  • Deepdow

    Nations didn’t exist until the 19th century, so his claim that sodom and gomora were nations is incorrect. I fucking won’t even talk about anything else because obviously this forty year old magnet lover is the village idiot.

    I want to laugh but then I want to cry. Why was I born on a planet with spiritual philosophies that are so ugly, violent and monolithic?

  • DonW

    @Dxley: So, Einstein, care to cite your sources for your statement: “Fact is: Black Africans think relationships are just about sex. Most of them don’t even know what a kiss is? Do they even know what a toothbrush is? A toothpaste?”

    Sure, Nigeria is pretty backward and this “student” and his “professor” are twats. But you don’t do our cause much good by demonstrating yourself to be just as much of a hateful idiot.

  • Deepdow

    @DonW:

    ^this

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