OPPOSITES ATTRACT

People Actually Buy College Student’s Batsh*t Theory On The “Unnaturalness” Of Homosexuality

magnetoEpistemological categories of knowledge or Wittgensteinian linguistics aside, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that magnetic fields (no, not the band) and homosexuality have little to no relation scientifically. However, a postgraduate student in Nigeria has come to the succinct conclusion that magnets, because they repel those of the same type, prove that homosexuality is unnatural.

Clearly someone’s never heard of the classic 1989 pop track by Paula Abdul featuring MC Skat Kat, “Opposites Attract.”

In an interview with This Daily Live, Chibuihem Amalaha, a student at the University of Lagos, claims that, “In recent time I found that gay marriage, which is homosexuality and lesbianism, is eating deep into the fabric of our human nature all over the world and this was why nations of Sodom and Gomora were destroyed by God because they were into gay practice.”  Which is clearly a very scientific opinion to hold and is not problematic in any way, shape or form.

Perhaps the scariest part of the story, however, is not the insane and backwards opinion of one post-grad student, but the support he is being given from his institution. Says Mr. Amalaha: “Recently my lecturer at the Department of Chemical Engineering, Profesor D S Aribuike, pointedly told me that I will win Nobel prize one day, because he found that my works are real and nobody has done it in any part of the world.”

South African LGBT(Q+) activist Luiz DeBarros had this to say as a response: “It’s debatable as to whether the embarrassing article is more damming [sic] of the standard of education at the University of Lagos or of the standard of journalism at This Day … The uncritical and uninformed article is likely to add to the ignorance and prejudice surrounding homosexuality in Nigeria.”

In all fairness, we’re sure this research would be taken just as seriously in certain parts of these United States, and there are certainly a few GOP politicians who would love to include this “groundbreaking” theory in the school curriculum.

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