Photographer, makeup artist, and activist Matt Bernstein painted his face with nine words that shut down anyone who still weaponizes the belief that homosexuality is a choice.
“If being gay was a choice,” his eye makeup reads, “I’d be gayer.”
Related: Is there any benefit to arguing homosexuality (and acting on it) is a choice?
The quote — which also adorned a counter-protest sign at a 2019 “straight pride” event in Modesto, California — seems to have originated in a 2016 tweet from comedian and writer Solomon Georgio.
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Being gay isn't a choice. If it were, I'd choose to be much gayer.
— Solomon Georgio (@solomongeorgio) August 23, 2016
Bernstein, meanwhile, has photographed himself emblazoned with other words of wisdom. Some highlights:
- “Hate dressed in religion is just hate.”
- “Some families are chosen.”
- “What if we loved queer kids as much as we love gender reveals.”
- “Why does style only become trendy once straight, white, cis people catch on?”
- “Gay rights wouldn’t exist without trans women of color.”
Related: Hillsong Church views homosexuality as a ‘lifestyle,’ and frankly, that’s all we need to know
Donston
That’s actually a statement I agree with. If I had the option I would definitely be more inherently homo than I currently am. I love that I love my sex and that I don’t feel the weight of hetero pressures.
Some people stay closeted forever. Some people do things for the sake of experimentation or money or drugs or ego or religion or convenience. Some people experience confusions. Some people experience different types fluidity. Where you fit in the gender, romantic, sexual, affection, emotional, relationship spectrum can be complicated. None of this equates to inherent sexuality being a choice. That’s where people misunderstand. Acknowledging people’s dimensions, individualism and journeys does not equate to something being a “choice”. And even if a percentage of people feel as if they’ve made certain choices as far as identities or lifestyles, it is their choice at the end day. So, all this “choice” stuff is moot and should not be used to promote anti-gay perspectives and homo shame.
Kangol2
I agree with it too and appreciate your comment, as I usually do. I do wonder what you mean by “If I had the choice” and “I would be more inherently homo.” First, are you being restrained in some way from being more openly and overtly gay/homo? How so? You mention that you don’t feel the weight of hetero pressures, but do you feel homonormative pressures? Do you feel that people close to you, the social world in which you move, or economic pressures, etc. prevent you from being more openly or intensely homo? I ask because I am curious, and am not being snarky or sarcastic.
Also, when you write “inherently homo,” my first thought was that you’re suggesting a psychological challenge, as opposed to one which is more external and performative. I.e., you inherently feel limits vs. you don’t feel those in terms of your interior life and desires, but for various reasons are not more flamboyantly gay, say, or demonstrative in your gayness. Do you feel limited in some way about how gay/homo you can be? Or do you mean that your inherent orientation and desires–you have mentioned attraction to women, I think, among other things–place limits on how homo you can be? Again, I’m asking out of curiosity because you are very thoughtful and your responses are always illuminating.
Donston
When I speak on “inherent” homosexuality, bisexuality, heterosexuality, etc. I’m talking about inherent attractions, passions, desires. What people decide to indulge or their “lifestyle choice” or their identities don’t always match up to their inherent dimensions or preferences.
I am no longer completely inherently homo like I was in my teens and up until my mid twenties. Therefore, I sometimes wish I was completely homo again. I wouldn’t have to constantly explain to people the realities of fluidity or the orientation spectrum. Then again, not being inherently homo does have its own sociological and ego perks.
When people get caught up in what is or isn’t a choice argument, they’re getting caught up in the wrong thing. How someone lives their lives is their business. Who they sexually engage with is their business. Who they have relationships with is their business. Where they fit in the gender, romantic, sexual, affection, emotional fulfillment, relationships contentment spectrum is their business. The focus needs to be on dismantling things like homophobia, trans-phobia, homo shaming, bi shaming, hetero pressures, hetero superiority, homo inferiority. The focus needs to be on trying to educate people on gender, sexuality and the orientation spectrum. Whenever the conversation becomes almost entirely about identity or sexual behaviors or what is it isn’t a choice, it becomes bogged down by ego, social politics and division.
wikidBSTN
Donston – just tell people you are bi. They’ll get it.
Donston
That doesn’t really work when you have in-depth convos with some people. Some folks don’t understand or believe in fluidity. While I’ve gotten a few of “you must hate women if you’re not homo but you only want to be with a guy”. I’ve gotten “you’re actually just a gay guy who happens to not be homo”. Then I’ve had annoying convos about what is or isn’t a “choice”. And I’m not here to “bi whine”. I find that type of whining exhausting. I just wish more people understood orientation beyond their experiences and beyond identity.
JessPH
So how exactly does one become “gayer”?
I’m a man who likes men. That already makes me gay. So if I like men more it makes me gayer?
JessPH
If being gay is a choice then it’s the correct one.
Creamsicle
Do writers actually think that culture is being developed on Twitter, or is amplifying social media just super easy to produce clickbait?
I admit that by clicking, I fell for it too.
I guess this is still better than recapping reddit posts.
Heywood Jablowme
I never understood the whole “being gay is a choice” thing but it doesn’t make much sense the other way around either.
Are there white racists who think blacks paint themselves black just to annoy white racists?
jackmister
People speak from their own experience, so when someone says being gay is a choice, what they’re really saying is “I could have gone either way, but I made the “choice” to be straight.”