Looking for a new job? Interested in working for a wealthy gay Libertarian who is BFFs with Donald Trump, believes injecting himself with the blood of young people will help him live to be 120 years old, and says “date rape” is really just code for “belated regret”? Then have we got the gig for you!
Billionaire Peter Thiel is looking to hire a “versatile, energetic and proactive” personal assistant who can help him with his daily responsibilities while running his business empire Thiel Capital.
According to the job listing, available on LinkedIn, Peter is looking for someone with a “positive, can-do attitude” who pays close “attention to detail” and has “the ability to multitask without letting anything slip, a willingness to travel, and a focus on personal tasks.”
You know, stuff like packing and unpacking his suitcases when he travels, “acting as a valet,” picking up his dry cleaning, scheduling his appointments, and making sure his bathroom is always fully stocked with his expensive “personal-care supplies.”
“You must exhibit a demonstrated ability to perform duties with a polished level of professionalism, tact, discretion, and judgement,” the listing demands. “While we expect a high level of accuracy, professionalism, and integrity, we also embrace light-heartedness, humor, and fun in our employees.”
Hmm. “Light-hearted,” “humorous,” and “fun” are not words we would use to describe Mr. Thiel, but–hey–maybe he’s a really nice guy behind closed doors?
The prospective employee must be available by phone and/or email 24/7, must be available to travel long distances on a minute’s notice, and should be able to anticipate Peter’s needs before he even knows he needs them.
We have no idea what the job pays, but it does include health, dental and vision, a 401(k), and a company cellphone, along with other “potential benefits.”