Looking for a new job? Interested in working for a wealthy gay Libertarian who is BFFs with Donald Trump, believes injecting himself with the blood of young people will help him live to be 120 years old, and says “date rape” is really just code for “belated regret”? Then have we got the gig for you!
Related: Peter Thiel doesn’t seem to know the difference between ‘sex’ and ‘sexual assault’
Billionaire Peter Thiel is looking to hire a “versatile, energetic and proactive” personal assistant who can help him with his daily responsibilities while running his business empire Thiel Capital.
According to the job listing, available on LinkedIn, Peter is looking for someone with a “positive, can-do attitude” who pays close “attention to detail” and has “the ability to multitask without letting anything slip, a willingness to travel, and a focus on personal tasks.”
Related: Peter Thiel Believes Injecting Himself With The Blood Of The Young Will Help Him Live Forever
You know, stuff like packing and unpacking his suitcases when he travels, “acting as a valet,” picking up his dry cleaning, scheduling his appointments, and making sure his bathroom is always fully stocked with his expensive “personal-care supplies.”
“You must exhibit a demonstrated ability to perform duties with a polished level of professionalism, tact, discretion, and judgement,” the listing demands. “While we expect a high level of accuracy, professionalism, and integrity, we also embrace light-heartedness, humor, and fun in our employees.”
Related: Peter Thiel Shamed For Association With Racists
Hmm. “Light-hearted,” “humorous,” and “fun” are not words we would use to describe Mr. Thiel, but–hey–maybe he’s a really nice guy behind closed doors?
The prospective employee must be available by phone and/or email 24/7, must be available to travel long distances on a minute’s notice, and should be able to anticipate Peter’s needs before he even knows he needs them.
We have no idea what the job pays, but it does include health, dental and vision, a 401(k), and a company cellphone, along with other “potential benefits.”
Related: Peter Thiel’s Data-Mining Start-Up: No Asians!
DCguy
Another out of touch nut job who says lgbt’s need to get over it, but who himself would flip out if they brought him nuts on a plan in a package and not warmed on a plate.
Actually I take it back. He would never use the term “LGBT” too inclusive for him.
Heywood Jablowme
We all know what “versatile” means, lol. So he’s looking to get f*cked?
And hey, if he’s a New Zealand citizen and thinks it’s so great there, why doesn’t he go live there and quit bothering Americans?
Sotzume
Total nut job …have a nephew that had dinner at his house..said he was the rudest jerk he’d ever met. Another self loathing gay man who could use a good bitch slapping.
Mo Bro
Work for a billionaire who wants to ogle me?
Where do I apply?
MarionPaige
The media led propaganda FOR certain clowns who don’t deserve it and AGAINST certain other people is exactly why Trump is in the White House, why Thiel is a billionaire and, why A CERTAIN MEDIA HYPED PERSON is hoping he emerges from bankruptcy being able to afford to continue to pay his “husband” his monthly allowance.
Peter Thiel is the “bad guy” compared to what?
DCguy
You can always tell when Marion has nothing. If she had names or facts she would have laid them out. But she didn’t so has to pretend that there is something there but it’s a secret.
Sorry Marion, you Failed.
seaguy
He’s german so chances are good that he is well endowed so his politics aside he would make a good sugar daddy.
Herman75
You mean he’d have an enormous SCHWANZSTUCKER !?!?
suzanne_elliott
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crowebobby
I lived in Berlin for 7 years and not even the hustlers are well hung . . . nor are the majority of the guys doing porn. I love Berlin and the Germans, but I can’t imagine where you got your information.
radiooutmike
He’s f***ing rich enough that he can buy all the inclusivity he needs. Too bad he’s a lizard because I do think he is attractive. Repugnant, yet attractive.
jason_evans
I would love to work for Peter Thiel. He’s a kind, gentleman who cares for people and for his country. It’s not as if I would say “Let me serve you, Peter. Buttocks up”.
jason_evans
Are neck massages part of the deal? I would massage Peter on his lonelier nights….