Petition Psychosis

The skeleton in the closet of the Catholic Church in Massachusetts doesn’t wear Dolce and Gabbana but she would look a hell of a lot trendier if she did. Though the church’s sex abuse scandal slimed the country from sea to shining sea, more concentrated ejaculations of it impacted Massachusetts than other states.

Mass Pride

Now, the church has set up a dart board with an X over your civil rights as the bulls-eye. Last Sunday, the Reverend Walter Waldron was vigorously applauded when he gave a bigoted homily urging his parishioners to sign a petition that calls for banning gay marriage in Massachusetts.

Waldron said: “It just seems so strange for me to stand here today and preach what I think is so obvious: Marriage is between a man and a woman.” If he would bother his backwards brains to meet gay couples, he might realize something more obvious than his bigotry.

The bigots only need 65,000 signatures for their proposed ban to qualify for the 2008 ballot, but they hope to gather twice that many to fend off all challenges. Imagine if all the energy expended in the hateful effort were instead spent on something progressive and loving. To buy gay greeting cards like that shown in the image, go here.