Phelps Wins Big, Tops Spitz

Michael Phelps done did it. The American Olympics swimmer cinched his eighth gold medal in Beijing yesterday, giving him a grand total of eleven such wins, which beats out Marc Spitz’s previous record of ten.

Having completed his mission, the ever humble Phelps said, “I wanted to do something nobody ever did.” He also said he wanted to hug his mom. Awww.

Meanwhile, did anyone see the American basketball team whoop Spain 119-82 yesterday? Could they be better than the Dream Team?


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  • retrofit71

    Good for him, but I find a sport where you ‘beat’ someone by fractions of fractions of a second to be a little silly, like, basically how is that beating someone, they swam the same. He gotta buttahface too.

  • Psychofag

    He´s hot…not!

  • Dave

    Is he gay?

  • Lil' tOmtOm




  • Jack E. Jett

    Ugly is in the mind of the beer holder and I say bring it on Phelps…backstroke this!

  • queryourself

    If he’d been too ill to compete in the olympics, the UK would have wone the same amount of gold medals as the US – and think of the differnce in size.
    I’m not saying that that’s important, but as a patriotic Brit – it had to be said.

  • queryourself

    And Lil’tOmtOm
    And I take it that you’re an oil painting.

  • eschewv

    You could say it was a “Spitz roast.”

  • crazylove

    I think he’s straight.

  • Insideguy

    Michael Phelps could still swim in the next Olympics in London and added even greater luster to him name and talent. Or he could cash in now and make mega millions. When you are that good, the world is yours for the taking.

    As for his looks I can bet you tall skinny guys with big ears are going to suddenly become very popular. And you that think he is ugly, better take another look inside and see what ugly is when making fun of a nice guy.

  • Fuck Me Phelps

    Freestyle, Breast stroke, backstroke, whatever…I’d never kick him out of bed

  • Rsquared

    You’re all a bunch of morons.

  • Jack E. Jett

    I don’t see one ugly boner/bone on his body.

    I think you bitches are jealous because he is going to marry me and we are going to have a life filled with watersports.

  • Dom

    I have not watched one bit of the Olympics, because of the political hypocrisy, since if the IOC had announced that the 2008 Games were going to be held in Havana, Cuba this country would have boycotted the event, yet we go to China despite the fact that the Chinese government is responsible for more human rights violations and supported more violence towards Americans than Cuba could ever perpetrate, but we still go since China basically owns this country economically.
    But I must say that Michael Phelps is one hot mofo, and I can honestly say that a great headjob from me will make those gold medals pale in comparison.

  • Jaroslaw

    I agree with Retrofit71 – it does seem a bit silly to be quibble over a fraction of a fraction of a second. Just for added fun, do we know any comparative data about the timekeeping equipment from 1972 and what timed Mr. Phelps?

    And I don’t pretend to know but Mark Spitz was quoted in the newspaper as saying the current Olympics has more or different events than when he swam in 1972 so it can’t be compared exactly. (re the pronouncements that Phelps won MORE medals than Spitz). Seems reasonable to me.

  • tim

    No4..he is has huge cocunt head idiot!!!!
    Michael did great for all of us in American. He is so hot and truly handsome for somereason that you miss to see.. Bravo Dr.Dhelps!!!!!

  • kenneth

    I’d still rather go for a mustache ride than do anything with this mouth breather …

  • Alan down in Florida

    His body, including his size 14 feet (what is that old saying?) but those ears were enough to make Dumbo fly – why wouldn’t they propel him in the pool.

    Supposed the be super-macho straight that treats women like the celebrity he is. WBTYM.

  • Mr C

    I’m happy for him. I just hope he isn’t related to our enemy in Kansas.

    The Rev Fred Phelps!

Comments are closed.