Have you recovered yet from your first trip down memory lane? We unearthed the television hunks of 1970s for you last weekend and now we’re going to fast forward to the ‘80s — a decade when the divas of Dynasty and Dallas waged wars of big hair while we salivated over men with mustaches and chest hair, and suits pastel and double-breasted. (Yeah, and those guys who often wore few clothes at all. You know who you are, Lorenzo Lamas!) Don’t worry, we know, we know…we’re waiting for your push-back because we couldn’t include everyone in out Top 10.
If we missed your favorite, tell us in the comments section.
Tom Selleck in Magnum P.I. (1980-1988)
All that man — and all that hair — just busting out of those Hawaiian shirts was enough to make a boy squeal for eight straight, er, gay years.
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John Schneider in The Dukes of Hazzard (1979-1985)
Fantasies about kissing cousins gave us goosebumps…and visions of all the things we would do in the backseat of the General Lee with Schneider and co-star Tom Wopat.
Bruce Boxleitner in Scarecrow and Mrs. King (1983-1987)
Sure the show was squeaky clean, but we had our share of dirty thoughts about super-spy Scarecrow. That Kate Jackson sure was one lucky-ass housewife — Angel our ass!
Lee Horsley in Matt Houston (1982-1985)
Simply because he looked like a Colt model before we even knew what a Colt model was, we were in lust.
Rex Smith in Street Hawk (1985)
Sure he’s got both the stage and film version of Pirates of Penzance on his resumé, but take away that gay cache and lets get right down to what we really cared about him having under his belt. Us. Clad in leather head-to-toe and riding that crotch rocket? Yes, please.
Tony Danza in Who’s The Boss? (1984-1992)
Who cared who the boss was as long as this buff, former-boxer, man-maid was at your every beck and call? “Do my dishes! Massage my feet! Take me to bed!”
Jon-Erik Hexum and Antony Hamilton in Cover Up (1984-1985)
These two were too sexy for their own damn good. Tragically, both stars died young: 26-year-old Hexum (left) on the show’s set in 1984 while playing with a prop gun; Hamilton in 1995 at age 42 of AIDS-related pneumonia.
Lorenzo Lamas in Falcon Crest (1981-1990)
We know why you snuck into your sister’s room to watch the Crest with her, and it wasn’t just to get your nails did. Lamas could take us for a swim in that Speedo any day of the week. And thrice on…any day of the week.
Scott Bakula in Quantum Leap (1989-1993)
We might get tired of jumping back and forth in time, but with Bakula onboard we’d leap just about anywhere. Preferably right into bed.
Don Johnson or Philip Michael Thomas in Miami Vice (1984-1990)
Yeah, we’re getting greedy. See how we did that? We snuck both Crockett and Tubbs into out Top 10 line-up because, let’s face it, they’re both hot.
Stache1
The winners for aging the best IMO are Don Johnson and Lorenzo Lamas because he’s got an even better body today. Of coarse my favorite here is John Schneider although he didn’t age quite as well. I’ll bet he led a fun life though:)
crowebobby
Though they’ve all aged well and are still good-looking men, there’s no substitute for youth!
middleagespread
Lorenzo, John, Bruce, and Scott have aged really well. Lorenzo is still one of my favorite fantasy men! Had a huge crush on Jon-Erik, still remember how upset I was when he passed. 🙁
dvlaries
Honorable mention: St. Elsewhere-era Mark Harmon and Cheers-era Ted Danson.
DarkZephyr
I was just a little boy when Jon-Erik Hexum was on “Voyagers!” but even then I was attracted to him and that hairy muscular chest. I didn’t understand why I was so fascinated with it at the time however. When Voyagers stopped showing up on TV (I assume now because of his death) I was heart broken. God he was beautiful.
Joetx
@DarkZephyr: I was in the same boat.
And the wingnuts say we choose to be gay!
TheNewEnergyDude
Schneider still looks amazing. He’s aged very well.
I’ll always have a soft spot for Mr. Selleck.
Mr. Boxleitner? I would’ve definitely let him impregnate me back in the day.
doug105
@Stache1: John Schneider is a born again Christian, but if he’s antigay haven’t heard much about it.
Tackle
Anthony Hamilton won the role, and was supposed to play James Bond. This was during the first go-round when Pierce Brosnan could not get out of his Remington Steel contract. The role of Bond was taken from Hamilton, due to his homosexuality being an open seceret.
Ramone
Good heavens you totally forgot Christopher Atkins .. his speedos on Dallas were even SMALLER than Lorenzos .. I may faint right now again ..
Franklin
Can I get shout out to Denzel Washington in St. Elsewhere?
EdWoody
@doug105: My husband and I have had dinner with him at a mutual friend’s birthday party. There was no hint of anything even vaguely anti-gay about him, and he never mentioned God the whole time IIRC.
My choice would be Maxwell Caulfield, from Dynasty spin-off The Colbys (85-87).
https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=Maxwell+Caulfield&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=aTpRUq_HH6m20wXL9YD4Ag&ved=0CAkQ_AUoAQ&biw=1440&bih=792&dpr=1#q=Maxwell+Caulfield&tbm=isch
EdWoody
^^^ apologies for the ridiculous link. It’s just a google image search.
Dwight
@DarkZephyr: sorry, Dark, but Voyagers only lasted one season and was cancelled prior to him starting on Cover-Up where he died early in the first season.
Now in the early ’80s I went for the blonds, Larry Wilcox in tight pants from CHiPS and Reb Brown.
Paul F
For those who must know,Tony Danza is uncut. I have a picture (from the inter-webz) of him taken from his boxing days when he was being weighed in. Yeah I had a boy crush on him back in the day along with magnum-mmmmm.
erasure25
Bruce was super hot in Babylon 5 … Earth Alliance military uniform and all!!
brent6696
I still remember Jon-Erik Hexum. I would like to share how his death affected me. I never missed his show, Cover-up, and this is before I was able to record TV. I had seen his made-for-TV movie with Joan Collins. He was, and remains, one of favourite TV actors. I kept a picture of him in an 8 x 10 frame with another photo on top of it so that no one but me knew it was there. And this was before he died.
The news story of him being injured by a prop gun did not worry me. I just assumed it was not a great harm to be hurt by such a gun. A few days later my best friend told me, in a matter-of-fact off-hand manner, “that actor died.” Her words shook me badly, but I was not out yet and couldn’t really express how much he meant to me. I was deeply saddened and had no one to whom I could express that sadness. I did say to her that he was “a favourite” of mine, but I couldn’t say much more, as I didn’t want to appear struck on a man. That was a sad day for me.
Today, I can say I like whomever I want, no more feelings of shame and the need to hide. I am glad about that. Back then, it hurt all the more because I was never able to express my sorrow, and mourn for a man I never knew, and would never know personally, but who brought me joy on a weekly basis. Rest in peace Jon-Erik.