While the straight world is all a tither about the Boston Red Sox and the St. Louis Cardinals going head-to-head in a World Series that is is tighter than Zac Efron’s abs, we got to thinking about more important things (like Efron’s abs) and the baseball stats that get us all hot and bothered: Who are the hotties on these two dueling teams? Sure baseball may not have the percentage of studs you see in say, the NFL and yes, they gave up those form-fitting stretch pants years ago, but there are still some lookers hidden in the lineups for these two World Series contenders. And because we’re all about due diligence, we found nine of ‘em for you — one to pay attention to for each inning.
Boston Red Sox
Jacoby Ellsbury / #2 / Outfielder
He may not have produced much at the plate until Game 5, but our eyes were always on Ellsbury from Game 1 and day one.
Johnny Gomes / #5 / Outfielder
Let’s ignore the beard as he has it now and appreciate his more trimmed version. He was the hero who won Game 4 for the Sox when he hit a three-run homer.
Xander Bogaerts / #72 / Infielder
Sure, he’s just a youngster (21, people), but he’s legal and he’s been reliable at bat…which only makes us think he’s good to have around for all sorts of reasons.
Ryan Kalish / #55 / Outfielder
Okay, so Kalish hasn’t played in the series since he underwent neck surgery in August, but c’mon, he’s the hottest guy on their roster. Without him, they’d never get laid.
St. Louis Cardinals
Adam Wainwright / #50 / Pitcher
He’s the best pitcher on the Cards’ roster, and we don’t think that jaw line or his piercing blue eyes hurt his case either.
Matt Carpenter / #13 / Infielder
He’s got that whole Don Draper look-alike thing going on. Too bad we can’t tell if he’s the whole Jon Hamm package with these pesky pants they where now. Yes, we said package.
Kolten Wong / #16 / Infielder
This half Chinese, half Hawaiian hottie is the sensitive type, too. He broke down into tears when he was picked off in the final play of Game 4 and the Cards lost.
Carlos Beltran / #3 / Outfielder
A bruised rib in Game 1 couldn’t keep this beefy right fielder on the bench when he smashed into the wall to catch what would have been a David Ortiz home run. Yeah, we like that kind of stamina.
David Freese / #23 / Infielder
Not at the top of our lineup, but in a pinch, we’d pluck Freese right from his position on third base and bring him home with us.