PHOTOS: Nine Pocket-Sized Guys We’d Love To Pack Up And Carry Around With Us

It seems pocket gays draw lots of positive attention when they step into a bar or circuit party, drawing packs of far bigger guys around them to the point where they disappear. Petite and small in stature, they often stand under 5’8, even in shoes.

Urban Dictionary defines the pocket gay as “an extremely short gay person.” Sean Hayes, in an episode of Will & Grace, once called them “the perfect travel-sized homosexual.” There seems to be some kind of correlation between diminutive stature and cuteness. These guys have adorable cheeks you just want to pinch.

Scroll down to see a sampling of celebrity men — some gay, some allegedly gay, and some we wish were gay — who have all the right makings to be excellent pocket gays…

Josh Hutcherson

Hunger Games star Josh Hutcherson is the epitome of a pocket gay. He’s short, he’s sweet, and he loves puppies. The 5’6 tease claims he’s straight, but last October he said he could “see himself dating a guy in the future.” Hey, Joshy boy, whenever you’re ready to take a dip in the man pond, give us a [email protected]

Steve Grand

Out country crooner Steve Grand made us reconsider our feelings about honky tonk music last summer with his song All American BoyWe’d love to pick up this brown-eyed beauty and carry him around for a decade or three. Until then, we’ll keep him on our iPods.

Elijah Wood

The 5’6 Hobbit star just turned 33 last month, and he’s cuter than ever. A few years back, rumors began swirling that he was gay. Turns out they weren’t true. Whomp, whomp. That’s okay, though. His compact frame, dramatic square jawline, and dreamy blue eyes still have us swooning.

Alec Mapa

Gay funny man Alec Mapa may not be traditional movie star handsome, but he’s still totally adorable. Not to mention he makes us laugh. Oh, and he knows how to rock a bow tie.

Brent Everett

Bad boy Brent Everett is one of the hottest twinks in porn. But we know behind that oversexed exterior, there’s a sweet boy next door who would pack very well into our Levis, front or back pocket.

Bruno Mars

Bruno Mars denied gay rumors in the past, but we’re still including him on our list as an honorary pocket gay. The 5’5 singer still gets us every time with his 2011 song Marry You. And that hair! It adds several inches to his stature.

Jonathan Taylor Thomas (aka J.T.T.)

The ’90s heartthrob was once the primary object of our middle school fantasies. And when rumors that he might be gay surfaced, we just about died. Today he’s all grown up… Sort of. He never got past the 5’5 mark, which is partly why we still love him, even though he’s more or less retired from show biz. Here’s hoping for a comeback.

Ryan Seacrest

At 5’8, the metrosexual TV host is on the tall side for pocket-sized, but we’re including him anyway because he’s so darn cute, not to mention squeezable. The fact that he’s worth an oversized $250 million only adds to our admiration. Pocket that!

Tom Cruise

We first fell in love with the 5’7 Scientologist when he stripped down to his skivvies and shook his thang in Risky Business. He’s cute, he’s charismatic, and he knows how to move. Sure, he might be a little on the crazy side, but whatever. We’d put up with his crazy for a dose of his pocket-sized goodness any day.

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  • Tackle

    Ok. But how tall is Steve Grand?

  • TerrenM

    COncerning Brent Everett… I guess ‘twink’ needs to be redefined? He’s 30.

  • BJ McFrisky

    Anyone who knows short men is probably aware that they may be short in stature, but they tend to be long in purpose.

  • Stefan

    Steve Grand is over 6’0.

  • Cam

    Oh Also, Don’t believe their P.R. Tom Cruise is not 5ft 7in. Closer to 5ft 4in.

    They wear lifts and lie about height just like the women in Hollywood use botox and lie about their ages.

  • tardis

    @Stefan: More like 5’10-11. There a picture of him next to Andy Cohen and he towers him about a feet or two. Andy Cohen is 5’9.

  • Stefan

    Well definitely not a pocket gay!

  • vidalporter

    I met Steve Grand at Orlando’s Pride last year. Super nice btw. He’s like 5’11. (I’m really tall so I notice these things).

  • Sandalphon

    Elijah Wood has some of the most beautiful, penetrating eyes. Simply astonishing!

  • Seth82

    Brent Everett is still such a hottie.

    I’d give a year’s worth of pay to get fucked by his big dick just one time.

    Josh Hutcherson is cute too!

  • GermanPenguin

    Ya, Steve Grand is by no means pocket sized. He is at least 5′ 10.

  • Stache1

    @Stefan: Yeah, not sure where they came up with that. Usually referred to as tall.

  • yaoming

    I guess Dan Radcliffe didn’t make the list because he’s already in my pocket.

  • Matthew Rettenmund

    Steve Grand is not a pocket gay, nor is he over 6′. He is exactly 5’11”. I think maybe Queerty thought he looked compact in the stooping-down photo! :)

  • SFHandyman

    How about Seth Green? Not gay at all but so cute.

    Jason Marsden has always been a favorite of mine, only 5’1″, and played Will’s boyfriend on Will and Grace. Dont know if he is IRL gay or not.

    I love Elijah Wood’s eyes. Mesmerizing.

  • OutnProud

    3 out of the 9 I can work with – Josh, Steve, and Brent. Elijah’s eyes have a hypnotic quality though

  • jasentylar

    @Cam: The guy that played Federico in Six Feet Under is all sorts of hot. I first noticed him in Can’t Hardly Wait.

  • jasentylar

    @yaoming: Danielle Radcliffe is all sorts of charming. The accent. It gets me every time.

  • SteveDenver

    Jamie Bell’s 5’7 of ginger perfection heats up my imagination.
    I’m def on the Daniel Radcliffe fan wagon, he’s darling and smart.
    Then there’s my hottie Hobbit Martin Freeman, 5’6 of YUM!
    And 5’5 of pure fun describes Breckin Meyer.

    Tom Cruise is creepy.

  • SFHandyman

    @SteveDenver How in the heck did I forget the hobbits? I always tell my friends that if they meet a hobbit I want to know about it. Little hairy guys are a so hot to me. My favorite of the actors is Dominic Monaghan.

  • DonovanS28

    I didn’t know Steve Grand and Brent Everett were short?

Comments are closed.