PHOTOS: Who’s The Hottest Player In The NFC?

You got a glimpse of the hot, brute muscle on some of the finest specimens in the NFL’s AFC last week, but how does the NFC stack up against the AFC when it comes to grade A beef? Take a look and see which team — which conference, rather — you’d want to play on. Us? We’re flexible. Which is probably a good thing if we’re going to be tumbling around with the likes of these brooding, grunting beasts. Who’s ready for some football?

Dallas Cowboys

DeMarco Murray / #29 / Running Back

How ’bout them Cowboys? There are a few we’d like to take out to pasture and…what’s that song again? Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy? Yeah, that.

New York Giants

David Carr  / Backup Quarterback, currently not on roster

You could chisel diamonds with that jawline carved from stone, so we don’t care that the Giants cut him from their roster just a few weeks back. We’re holding out hope he’ll be back. Eli Manning is just not that cute.

Philadelphia Eagles

James Casey /#86/ Fullback, Tight End

There are quite a few in Philly we’d like to sack. But if we had our druthers, we’d go with Casey: He look big, buff and dumb. Just how we like ‘em. But don’t tell him we said that as we’re sure his 6’4, 240-lb. self can kick our ass.

Washington Redskins

Niles Paul / #84 / Tight End 

If you can forgive their to decidedly un-PC name, We’ll take Paul shaven or scruffy or any combo in between. We’ll just take him. Period.

Chicago Bears

Lance Briggs / #55/ Linebacker

With a mug as handsome as his, our first thought is: “Dayum!” Then comes “Yes, please.” Followed by, “Don’t you dare bust up his pretty face!”

Detroit Lions

Reggie Bush / #21 / Running Back

We are still all about some Bush. Kim K. is a dummy for letting this one get away. You’ve probably seen enough shirtless shots of him through the years (is it really ever enough?), so we figure we’d combine that physique with a sexy set of choppers (smile. people) that’ll just make you melt.

Green Bay Packers

Andrew Quarless / #81 / Tight End

If nothing else, he’s very confident in his own self. He originally had “Gods Gift” (sic, he forgot the apostrophe) tatted on his forearms. Hey, we’re not one to argue. He’s since changed the tattoo and added an “S” to “Gift” because others were giving him flack for being conceited. Again, we’re not one to argue.

Minnesota Vikings

John Carlson / #89 / Tight End

Once Ben Leber went the free agent route to retirement we needed a new Vikings crush, so in a pinch we’ve picked Carlson because we think he can go the distance.

Atlanta Falcons

Tony Gonzalez / #88 / Tight End

He’s versatile, boys. Hot. He had to choose between basketball and football after a successful college career in both. We like his choice. NFL uniforms are more…flattering.

Carolina Panthers

Craig Roh/ #60 / Defensive End

He’s just 22 years old. And at 6’5 and nearly 270 pounds we can only hope he respects his elders.

New Orleans Saints

Kenny Vaccaro / #32 /Safety 

There’s very little saintly about NO — if you’ve been there you know — but this tatted up rookie has us thinking very unsaintly thoughts on the daily.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

William Gholston / #92 / Defensive End

In all truth, we don’t know much about Tampa Bay or the Buccaneers, but that doesn’t keep us from wanting to run with Gholston all day long.

Arizona Cardinals

Darnell Dockett / #90 / Defesive End

We’ve let our fantasies fly with Dockett. And he’s ours, so back off.

St. Louis Rams
Chris Long / #91 / Defensive End
Grunt. Grind. Moan. Yeah, all these verbs come to mind when thoughts of Long are present.

San Francisco 49ers
Colin Kaepernick / #7 / Quarterback
We said last week that we couldn’t give all the love to QBs and such, but do you see this picture? It’s Kaepernick? C’mon now!

Seattle Seahawks

Percy Harvin / #11 / Wide Receiver

This pic is from his personal Twitter account (@Percy_Harvin) made us believers. Real fast. If you weren’t following him before, you might now, huh? You slut.