Isn’t it nice when two crazy people are able to find each other? That seems to be the case now that Kim Davis and Chris Sevier have found themselves entwined.
Kim Davis, you’ll recall, is the unpleasant lady who refused to give marriage licenses to gay couples. Kentucky marriage licenses no longer bear the clerk’s name, and so her time in the spotlight is looooong over.
But that hasn’t stopped our friend Chris, who’s now suing Davis (as well as Governor Matt Bevin) for the right to marry his laptop. It’s a clever protest, you see, oh it’s so very terrible clever. The point he’s making is that if men can marry men, than how is marrying an inanimate object any different?
This is not the first time Chris has taken an unusual interest in his computer: he filed a lawsuit to marry it a few months ago; and also a few years ago. Each time he’s been laughed out of court, though with less laughter and more annoyance each time. He also sued Apple for allowing him to buy the computer in the first place, without warning him that it could be used to access pornography. And he sued Obama for firing one of the Duck Dynasty guys — good luck figuring that one out. He was discussed (and then dismissed) on this week’s Defining Marriage podcast, and hopefully we’ll never need to acknowledge him again.
So in case you were worried about Kim Davis’ lingering cultural impact, here it is: she’s identified herself as the kind of person who associates with lunatics. And now the lunatics are flocking to her. Enjoy the bed you’ve made, Kim.
robho3
Idiot
Kieran
Someone of Chris Sevier’s mentality probably would have trouble seeing the difference between a human being marrying another human being and a human being marrying an animal or inanimate object.
Mo Bro
This article is grossly unprofessional with typos.
My kingdom for a proofreader at Queerty.
Harley
Kim’s fifth husband to be.
Bob LaBlah
This is an election year. Don’t rule out the possibility that he might be a plant by those who love to bash lawyers in regards to frivolous lawsuits and judgement awards and how much they gave to certain parties. The funny part about that is BOTH sides of the aisle use that argument when they are getting less money from the trial lawyers political slush fund than the other side.
Welcome to America folks. See what you see but believe and question no more than half of all of it. If in doubt, your probably right.
Prinny
Hope he succeeds in his intent of marrying his laptop.
Daniel-Reader
But if his argument was accepted, he would then go to jail and have to register as a sex offender for life unless the laptop is over 18 years old because he would be admitting to attempting carnal knowledge with a minor via marriage. LOL
AzLights
It is difficult to believe morons like this exist, but clearly they do.
JessPH
He should be allowed to marry his laptop as long as he can prove that it has any legal capacity to enter into a contract and give consent.
Mack
Sorry but as a former Commissioner of Civil Marriage in the state of Nevada, he can’t legally marry the laptop since the laptop is not able to consent to the marriage. In order to be married two people must be able to consent (if they’re of age) if they’re not of age then one of the parents must be able to consent.
rand503
Is his lawyer Matt Staver?
Bob LaBlah
@Mack: Thank you. The SPOKEN words of “I do” must be just that, spoken words, from BOTH parties. Hollywood has already make a movie starring Joaquin Phoenix about a guy in love with either a computer or the software (I can’t remember which). Shit like that is a bit too bazaar for me.
throwslikeagirl
I’m in favor of everyone being able to marry the Apple of their eye.
Curtispsf
@Mack: Ahh…but what if this gent is able to provide proof that said Apple laptop’s parent, McIntosh, consents to the marriage. Where’s your argument then Mr. Smartypants?