Free speech

Police arrest man for his bumper sticker boasting about an ‘obscene’ sex act

I Eat But arrest, sticker, Florida
This is NOT an actual image of the man arrested for the sticker, by the way.

A 23-year-old Floridian named Dillon Shane Webb claims a violation against his freedom of speech occurred when a police officer recently charged him with “possession and distribution of obscene material” for having a sticker on his truck’s back window that proclaimed, “I Eat *ss.”

According to the Lake City Reporter, a Columbia County police deputy saw the sticker on Webb’s brown Chevrolet truck while traveling down the highway. The officer stopped Webb and claimed that his sticker violated Florida Statute 847.011 forbidding the possession and distribution of obscene material. The law is so broadly written that it can apply to anything that anyone finds “obscene.”

The police report says the deputy asked Webb how “a parent of a small child would explain the meaning of the words.” Webb replied that the sticker was “just words” and said that their meaning would be “up to the parent.”

Keep in mind, that the aforementioned Florida statute doesn’t mention children, and people often use “think of the children” as a pretext for anything that makes them uncomfortable. We wonder if the officer also stops vehicles with those tacky testicular “Truck Nutz” (NSFW) hanging from their back hitches.

Related: 18 men arrested in Florida public park gay sex sting, and subsequently named by newspapers

Anyway, the deputy told Webb to remove the sticker from his vehicle or to remove a single letter from the word *ss so that the sticker would “no longer be derogatory,” but Webb refused. So instead, the officer took a photo of the sticker as evidence and arrested Webb and charged him with two first-degree misdemeanors for obscenity and resisting arrest.

Webb will now have to appear in court on May 23 to defend his butt-eating sticker. Personally, we hope he gets a decent lawyer and fights it. We’re not even sure if Webb is gay, bi, straight or what. He could be completely straight, in which case he’s proudly talking about munching on women’s butts, something that few men rarely, if ever, boast about (but should).