Queen of the Damned

Polish Priests Examining “The Woman Who Dares Call Herself Madonna” For Demonic Possession

A gaggle of concerned priests are holding a five-day conference in Poland on the subject of exorcisms. Topics on the agenda include the “current fashion for vampirism in Europe,” “the devil’s deceit during exorcism,”–and Madonna.

The iconic pop star’s music and shows will be examined by “expert” priests trained in the art of defeating demons and treating satanic possession, as well as looking for the devil and finding evil in popular culture.

“Part of the conference is dedicated to the hidden subliminal message in communication, and the choice of this subject was inspired by the woman who dares to call herself Madonna,” exorcist and conference organizer Father Andrzej Grefkowic told The Telegraph last week. “We’ve been worried about her concerts.”

Worried about her concerts? Madonna’s last tour wrapped in 2012.

At least Father Andrzej Grefkowic’s is in line with tradition. The Catholic Church is not known for keeping up with the times.

Just to show that Madonna is in good company, the good Father also issued a warning that tattoos and body piercings are methods the devil uses to corrupt people. He also urged everyone to be mindful of things like horoscopes and magic shows.

We reached out to Madonna’s camp for a comment, but didn’t hear back; however, we’d imagine her response would be something along the lines of: “Polish exorcists? What?”

Approximately 300 exorcists and other specialists are expected to attend the conference, which is held every two years, at the Jasna Gora monastery, the most holy site in Poland.

Sounds to us like these dudes just want an excuse to jam out to Get Into The Groove.