Earth-shaking pleasure

Politician’s perfect comeback to homophobic rant named ‘Quote of the Year’


Well, 2016 wasn’t very good, so it probably makes sense that the quote of the year is just kind, you know, meh.

The winner is Denise Roche, a member of parliament in New Zealand. A local church official said that gay people cause earthquakes, to which Denise said, “sex just can’t be that good.”

Haha OK, it’s not bad. Quote of the year, though? It’s not exactly Oscar Wilde material. But eh, why not, let her have it. Like you have anything better to say over the last 12 months?

The runners up are similarly modest. “In the beginning I really admired Colin. It was only as time went on that I realized he was a douche bag,” said a woman on the witness stand at a trial. That’s not bad.

“If Americans were given a choice, they would have a gun on their flag,” said a comedian named Matt Stellingwerf. That’s kind of just true, and not really even a joke at all?

Our favorite is maybe the one attributed to a farmer who helped rescue some cows stranded by an earthquake. “You’re a clever cow to skip and dance while the land beneath you is disappearing down the hill,” he said. That’s got an odd poetry to it, and the fact that it was spoken to a cow makes it even prettier. Imagine that the farmer is a hunky gay porn fantasy and we’ve got ourselves a quote of the century.

But was the cow having gay sex? Is that was caused the earthquake? The world may never know.

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