IMPENDING DOOM

Polygamy Just Around The Corner, Christian Blogger Fears

Screen shot 2015-07-06 at 4.12.50 PM“Thanks to the Supreme Court ruling on gay marriage,” blogger Rick Jensen writes in a new op-ed published by GOPUSA, “the legality of polygamy will go to the Supreme Court and polygamists will win.”

Of course, before that can happen the polygamists first have lose in the lower courts, then petition the U.S. Supreme Court, which has to agree to hear their case. As of right now, there don’t appear to be any polygamists in the process of doing this.

Yet Jensen believes it’s only a matter of time before it happens. And when it does, our great nation will be doomed.

Related: CA Woman Predicts Marriage Equality Will Lead To Polygamy, Atomic War, Hunger And Moon Colonies

“Historically, polygamy has violently disrupted societal growth,” Jensen writes, “directly leading to crime, riots and eventual banning of the practice.”

He goes on to say that “researchers” (though he doesn’t cite which ones) have found that societies where polygamy is legal “produce more rapes, crimes of theft and a decidedly unhappy population of middle and lower income males who find a lack of compatible female mates due to their wealthy male competitors marrying the most attractive of the species.”

In other words: Female specimens only exist to keep males happy and for $$$, so when males act out, it’s the females who are to blame.

All of this, Jensen believes, is the result of a secret mission launched by the gays and the media to disrupt “the long-term success” of the “marriage system” and to abolish Christianity altogether.

Related: “Masturbation Will Make Me Turn Gay” And 40 More Wacky Lies From The Mormon Church

“Christianity has been successfully redefined in popular culture by western secularists and the media as a religion of hate,” he writes, “so if Christians promote a standard, it’s hateful and must be repealed. Gay marriage and limiting adoption to heterosexuals are the two most outstanding examples.”

Christian men should be especially worried about polygamy becoming the law of the land, Jensen says, because “[i]nstead of just one wife to ‘educate’ you to your personal flaws, you’ll have The Wives Team one at a time and then en masse.”

He adds: “That, plus the inevitable, ‘Does wife Rebecca’s butt look better in her jeans than mine?'”

Jensen seems to forget one key thing: Even if polygamy were to be made legal in the United States, Christian men and women would not be forced to enter plural marriages.

Evidently, that’s one too many thoughts for his brain to compute.

Related: Christian Extremist Records Herself Imploding Over Marriage Equality In Must-See Video