When exploring your sexual orientation, it can be challenging to pick a label that suits you. Fortunately, there are many terms you can use to describe your attraction toward other people.
If you think you might be polysexual or know someone who identifies that way, this guide will tell you everything you need to know.
RELATED: How Straight Are You Based on Your Taste in Men?
What Does Polysexual Mean?
Polysexual is an orientation that describes someone attracted to people of multiple genders. They might feel attraction towards most genders but not necessarily all of them. However, how someone defines being polysexual might depend on their unique experiences.
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Because polysexual is an orientation and not gender identity, a polysexual person’s pronouns may vary. When in doubt, always ask a polysexual person what pronouns they use.
What Does The Polysexual Flag Look Like?
Like other orientations and gender identities, polysexual people have a flag to represent them. In the polysexual flag, you’ll find three colors:
- Pink: Represents women and female-aligned people
- Green: Represents non-binary and gender-fluid people
- Blue: Represents men and male-aligned people
There is a variation of the polysexual flag that incorporates light pinks, light blues, and whites and where its light green stripe represents transgender people.
Polysexuality And Other Orientations
The foundational polysexual meaning often overlaps with other types of attraction, making it difficult to distinguish between a variety of labels. Here is how polysexuality relates to different sexualities.
Polysexual vs Omnisexual
Unlike polysexual people who are attracted to multiple genders, omnisexual people experience attraction towards all genders. Basically, polysexuality is an umbrella term that covers omnisexuality.
In comparison to pansexuals who are often called gender-blind, omnisexuals sometimes have a preference for one or more genders. For instance, an omnisexual person might feel most attracted to men.
Polysexual vs Bisexual
Bisexual people typically experience attraction towards their own gender and the opposite gender. However, some people define bisexuality as the attraction to two or more genders. A bisexual may also identify as a polysexual, but not all bisexuals do.
Polysexual vs Pansexual
We can differentiate between polysexual and pansexual by defining each prefix. While “poly” means multiple, “pan” means all.
For example, a polysexual person might be attracted to men and women but not someone who identifies as non-binary. In contrast, a pansexual person typically doesn’t consider gender when feeling attraction toward someone.
So, while pansexual people can be polysexual, not all polysexual people are pansexual.
Polysexual vs Pomosexual
Unlike polysexual people, pomosexual people don’t adhere to sexual orientation labels. While they might sometimes fall under the category of queer or questioning, pomosexual people tend to resist conventional methods of categorizing sexuality.
Polysexual vs Polyamorous
While polysexual and polyamorous share the same prefix, the former pertains to a sexual orientation while the latter describes a relationship structure or orientation. Polyamory is a type of consensual non-monogamy in which those involved can have intimate relationships with multiple people.
While polysexual people can also be polyamorous, not all of them will be interested in acting upon the attraction they feel toward people outside of their monogamous relationships.
What It’s Like To Date When You’re Polysexual
Unless your partner isn’t comfortable with your sexual orientation, being polysexual shouldn’t make your potential relationships more challenging. With that in mind, some polysexual people feel the need to “come out,” which can be stressful and become a significant source of grief.
If your partner comes out to you as polysexual, approach the topic with acceptance and a willingness to learn. Also, keep in mind that others might wrongfully assume your orientation depending on whether you’re dating someone of the same or opposite sex. While these assumptions can be damaging, take it as an opportunity to educate others.
How Do You Know You’re Polysexual?
There is no quiz or test that can determine whether you are polysexual. You’ll get a much clearer idea if you instead consider your experiences with relationships and attraction.
If the experiences below are familiar to you, you might be polysexual.
You’re Attracted To People Regardless Of Their Gender Identity
When you think about your ideal match, does gender play a role in your decision-making process? Do you specifically picture a man or a woman, or do you only think about the person’s qualities?
Most polysexual people don’t consider gender a factor when thinking about what they want to see in a partner.
You Want To Explore Relationships With Other Genders
Consider your past relationships. If you’ve only been in a relationship with one gender, do you feel you haven’t fully explored your sexuality? If the answer is yes, you might be polysexual.
Other Labels Don’t Describe Who You Are
Perhaps you’ve already toyed around with being bisexual or pansexual but aren’t comfortable with those terms. For instance, maybe you don’t feel pansexual because you don’t feel attraction towards one specific gender. If a more specific label doesn’t work, polysexual as a label might best describe your situation.
You Relate To Polysexual People
Do you relate to polysexual friends or follow polysexual influencers on social media? It’s possible you empathize with what they go through and how they identify, even on a subconscious level.
Myths And Misconceptions About Being Polysexual
Because the polysexual identity has only recently gained recognition, there are still many misconceptions surrounding it. These myths can hurt polysexual people more than you think, so let’s debunk a few of them.
Myth 1: Polysexual People Always Cheat
Just because polysexual people are attracted to multiple genders doesn’t mean they will be attracted to multiple people simultaneously. And even if they are, it especially doesn’t mean that they will act on their feelings and violate relationship agreements.
Polysexual people have preferred relationship structures, like anyone else. If a polysexual person is monogamous, they are not more likely to cheat than someone who identifies as bisexual or pansexual.
In that vein, many also assume that polysexual people are afraid of commitment or simply want to keep their options open. This isn’t always the case – a polysexual person can be just as emotionally available as a monosexual person.
Myth 2: Polysexual People Are Hypersexual
Many assume that polysexual people want more attention and sex because they are attracted to multiple genders. However, polysexuality does not dictate a person’s libido. While some have a high sex drive, some do not. A polysexual person can decide with whom they want to have sex (consensually) and when as much as anyone else.
Myth 3: Polysexual People Are Just Gay
A polysexual person wouldn’t use the term just to avoid the stigma of being gay, especially because the polysexual label comes with its own challenges and misconceptions – and even less understanding.
Myth 4: Polysexual Men And Women Who Date Are Straight
You can never identify someone’s sexual orientation based on who they are currently dating. If a polysexual man and woman are in a relationship, you can’t automatically assume that they are straight. Similarly, you can’t assume that a polysexual person dating someone of the same gender is gay or lesbian.
The best way to find out whether someone is polysexual is to ask them.
Myth 5: Polysexuality Is Just A Stepping Stone To Another Orientation
Like all sexual orientations, polysexual people may find that their label changes over time. For example, they might discover that they aren’t polysexual but bisexual. However, polysexuality isn’t just a stepping stone towards a final destination.
Dismissing someone’s claims that they are polysexual can significantly invalidate their experiences.
Myth 6: Polysexual People Have A “Look”
You can’t tell someone’s gender identity or sexual orientation based on how they dress. Labels like “butch” or “tomboy” can become demeaning, especially when people use them to assume how someone identifies.
Polysexual people don’t dress a certain way. Some might dress in a gender-conforming manner, while others are more comfortable expressing themselves in unconventional ways.
Being polysexual doesn’t mean you are more likely to be masculine, feminine, or androgynous. For instance, a masculine polysexual man is just as polysexual as an androgynous non-binary individual.
Ultimately, a person’s gender expression has nothing to do with their sexual orientation.
Polysexuality And Health Concerns
Regardless of your sexual orientation, discussing your sexual identity with a healthcare professional can be uncomfortable and challenging.
When a doctor asks if you are sexually active, the typical assumption behind the question is “straight” intercourse. While you don’t need to share the specifics of your sexual activity if you’re not comfortable, a culturally sensitive doctor can create a positive healthcare experience and encourage you to share details that could impact your diagnosis or treatment.
As with any non-conforming person in a non-conventional relationship, polysexual people should seek healthcare solutions with someone accepting, understanding, and educated about their sexual identity.
How To Be A Better Ally To Polysexual Friends And Family
Because polysexuality is a relatively new concept, people who identify with this sexual orientation might have trouble finding the right kind of support. If you or someone you know is coming to terms with being polysexual, here are a few tips to help make the process more comfortable.
Do Research
If you are new to the concept of polysexuality, you don’t have to know everything about it from the get-go. One of the best ways to stay informed and up-to-date is to do regular research. Whether this involves doing research at a resource center, researching online, or speaking with a professional, educating yourself can improve self-esteem and communication.
Talk To Polysexual People
As with any conversation, you want to approach polysexuality with an openness and willingness to learn. The best resource for learning more about polysexuality is a polysexual person, so never assume you know more about sexuality than they do!
Be open to the possibility of being corrected – you can’t always get things right from the beginning. Staying humble and holding yourself accountable can go a long way if you’ve misunderstood something about another person’s sexuality. Finally, don’t take it personally, as it’s not about you.
Final Thoughts
While polysexuality is not a very familiar concept for many, approaching the topic with openness and respect can make your (or someone else’s) journey towards self-discovery more comfortable. Whether you think you might be polysexual or know someone who is, staying informed helps you be a supportive community member or ally.
If you want to learn more about the different sexual orientations on the spectrum, explore more of Queerty’s informational guides.
RELATED: Am I Pansexual? How to Find Out
Sqwoah
Enough with the ridiculous orientations. The further it’s pushed the more credibility we lose.
Dangbad
“Here is a list of commonly held myths and misconceptions about this thing I just made up, which no one has any opinions about at all because they never heard of it, because it’s just nothing.”
Terrycloth
Anyone remember when there were only 3 ? Gay , straight and bi ? Now it seems there’s 500 terms you can use to identify yourself .some are interchangeable…confusing everyone even the gay community…forget bringing up the pronouns…so you like everybody but not everybody. Well sometimes. But I’m gay not really bi but….help it’s ridiculous…how many more letters are we going to add to lgbtq …
bachy
I sometimes think these microidentities are a neurotic, shame-based compulsion to label and confess every erotic aspect of ourselves to people who don’t care in the first place. It’s cringy– and it’s none of their business, anyways! Just be yourself.
sofinico
Can’t wait to go to my local resource centre to do more research on this thing you just made up!
Jim
Give me a break
Kinsey developed a scale almost 100 years ago. Everything else is self centered babble!
0 Exclusively heterosexual
1 Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2 Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 Equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6 Exclusively homosexual
X No socio-sexual contacts or reactions
Shanester
YES! YES! YES!
mastik8
This is such a sad, misguided attempt at making people feel empowered, affirmed and included. Articles like this and the almost comedic if they weren’t so tragic flag articles that no one has the courage to put their name to, are answers to questions no one asked. There’s more than enough information and resources out there already to help anyone so inclined. More than enough.
inbama
Polynesians should sue.
LumpyPillows
This really is oversharing. I don’t care. What’s next? A label and flag for people who like to bottom on Tuesdays while watching the shopping Channel? This nonsense is damaging.
Mario
All of these terms are b.s..
It’s time to get over labels.
Walker
Good lord, I guess I’m poly sexual since I’ve dated men, women, and one or two trans folk. OR this is nonsense.
I don’t know whether these made up (and generally redundant) orientations are designed so that certain queer people can feel extra special about themselves or whether it just part of the ongoing nu-trans agenda to create as many named genders as possible. Probably both. The fact is that you can’t be “Omni” anything unless there are more than three genders, so I guess we’re busy making up more of them, too.
No one in the community should have a problem accepting the idea that FtM and MtF trans people are their chosen identities of male and female, respectively. It gets more and more difficult to accept every “trans” person as their OWN individual gender, PLUS the bigendered AND the genderqueer AND who knows what else. It defeats the purpose of gendering, just like “individual pronouns” aren’t in fact pronouns, rather nicknames.
MISTERJETT
in my opinion, LGBT covers everything. that’s all we need. again, IMO.
Rambeaux
You are right, of course.
But remember: We live in the time when everyone gets a blue ribbon. That way the losers aren’t left out.
Actually, the losers ARE still left out. That is called Human Nature and that never changes.
Evji108
I’m a masturbasexual where’s my flag?
M K
You can put whatever label you want on anything, but in the end of it fax or fax… You can call red blue, but it’s still red.
I let’s face it you. A Dick and certain chromosomes you’re male and if you have a uterus and other chromosomes you’re female.
If you are male and playing with a Dick you’re gay. If you are a male and playing with a Vagina you’re straight. If you’re playing with both you’re bi… if you are saying you’re straight and still playing with dicks you’re just lying to yourself and others.
If you’re “they” you better be boating taxes for your split two person personality.
markstephen
Biology is. Biology is truth. Biology is destiny.
Male body. Female body. Ambiguous genitals resulting from chromosomal rarities. Then, there is affection, attraction, self-expression.
MystiRivers
Frankly, things were more interesting when it was “the love that dare not speak its name.”
Diplomat
LoL…as if!
Den
“The foundational polysexual meaning often overlaps with other types of attraction, making it difficult to distinguish between a variety of labels.”
THERE IS A GOOD, AND VERY OBVIOUS REASON, FOR THAT DIFFICULTY! (and I’m not “shouting but just trying to easily distinguish between the rather fanciful article and my observations)
“Because the polysexual identity has only recently gained recognition, there are still many misconceptions surrounding it. These myths can hurt polysexual people more than you think, so let’s debunk a few of them.”
I’M SORRY, BUT IT DOES NOT SEEM POSSIBLE FOR THERE TO “STILL” TO BE MANY MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT SOMETHING ESSENTIALLY NOBODY HAS HEARD OF. AND HONESTLY, HOMOSEXUAL, HETEROSEXUAL AND BISEXUAL KIND OF COVERS EVERYBODY. EXCEPT PERHAPS “GENDERQUEERS” BUT YOU WOULD BE HARD PRESSED TO CONVINCE MOST THAT THEY ARE JUST PEOPLE OF THE AFOREMENTIONED THREE LOOKING FOR ATTENTION.
“Unlike polysexual people who are attracted to multiple genders, omnisexual people experience attraction towards all genders. Basically, polysexuality is an umbrella term that covers omnisexuality.
In comparison to pansexuals who are often called gender-blind, omnisexuals sometimes have a preference for one or more genders. For instance, an omnisexual person might feel most attracted to men.”
WHAT KIND OF DRESSING DO YOU WANT ON YOUR WORD SALAD? AND PERHAPS A SIDE OF POINTLESSLY SPLIT HAIRS?
“Ultimately, a person’s gender expression has nothing to do with their sexual orientation.”
ULTIMATELY, THE STATEMENT ABOVE GIVES LIE TO ALMOST EVERYTHING IN THE ARTICLE! AND AS FOR THE COMMENT TO “DO RESEARCH” AND/OR SPEAK TO PROFESSIONALS. YOU WILL BE HARD PRESSED TO FIND AN ACTUAL PROFESSIONAL (PROFESSIONALLY TRAINED AND EMPIRICALLY BASED) WHO WILL VOUCH FOR THE EXISTANCE OF THE MYRIAD ORIENTATIONS TROTTED OUT IN THESE ARTICLES.
As for flags, the whole point of the Pride flag was to identify a specific cause: equal rights and protections for sexual minorities. The impression one gets from all these different names and flags is that the folks involved do not understand the concept of strength in numbers either politically or socially. It’s kind of childish. Fundamentalists and evangelicals in all their little sects and cults do, and that is why they are getting to exercise regressive political clout and drive social progress backwards.
Diplomat
Someone has too much time on their hands.