Perez Hilton: Relationship Ruiner, Gwyneth Paltrow Gets A Stripper Surprise on “Ellen” & More!

– Mimi’s getting ready to get emancipated again. Mariah Carey‘s making yet another comeback, as a diva of her stature is wont to do, with the new single, “Beautiful” featuring Miguel.

– It’s the end of an era. The hyperbitch behind the cunt-punt heard round the world has resigned.

– We’re sure this was a complete accident. Complete. Accident.

Miley Cyrus is giving 90s Madonna realness.

– Speaking of the 90s, when Ace of Base saw the sign, it was apparently a swastika.

– Candy Land is now directly bordering Prostitution-Whore Land.

– Introducing Ryan Lochte‘s new fragrance, Pool Water:

– According to Ke$ha, Perez Hiltonsingle-handedly ruined the only relationship that’s ever meant anything to me.”

– Two of our fave gals — Community‘s Gillian Jacobs and Gossip Girl‘s Leighton Meester — are starring in a film about gay marriage.

– Sidney Prescott isn’t the only thing about Scream that won’t die: MTV is planning a TV series based on the popular-ish horror franchise.

– Turns out Lady Gaga is the godmother to both of Elton John‘s sons, who if they don’t turn out gay will be a disappointment and/or miracle.

Mad Men‘s Vincent Kartheiser: not a fan of Huff Po. Call someone an asshole and they really hold a grudge.

Ellen DeGeneres knows the only appropriate way to congratulate Gwyneth Paltrow on being named the World’s Most Beautiful Woman is with shirtless strippers. But really, when are shirtless male strippers inappropriate?