At the beginning of her music career, she was openly bisexual but leaned more towards dating other men. At the time, industry insiders told her bisexuality was hot, hot, hot: “I was even told by a famous producer that ‘bi trumps gay. It even trumps straight.'”
But now that she’s come to the realization that she’s gay — not “bi, pan, fluid, no label” — the people who are marketing her image and songs are strongly advising her to not come out. If she does, they say she’ll get pigeonholed into “the gay scene.”
Related: Out rugby star Keegan Hirst says he knows tons of gay athletes who are primed to come out
“If you’re bi,” Throwaway210517 writes on Reddit, “you can claim both the gay scene and the mainstream.”
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I told my manager and producers, who I’m really close to. First words out of his mouth were, “Don’t tell anyone.”
Said I’d lose tons of male fans and become a niche gay artist. And that I better not “shave my head and go all dykey”. They said I don’t have to actively lie that I’m bisexual, but if any questions come up I should just avoid it by saying something about fluidity and not everyone needs a label.
She says many of the gay artists she knows play the same game.
“You can be gay in behavior all you want,” she writes. “Just don’t ever say the word gay or lesbian or homosexual.”
It’s totally changed my perspective. I used to wonder where all the gay celebrities were, and why everyone was “no label” these days. Now I know they are hiding in plain sight.
Of course a lot of them are actually in that grey area. And I will take their word for it. It’s a real orientation, and doesn’t mean you’re closeted or confused. But it’s sad how many gay people are forced to do it too. It will never be cool to be gay, because you lose your appeal to the majority of people. And show biz depends on appealing to people. No matter how accepting society becomes, the media will be full of closeted people.
It makes me that much more appreciative of people who have come out as gay, even if it ruined their careers.
Related: If you’re making fun of Barry Manilow coming out then you’re part of the problem, blogger chastises
Many Redditors have weighed in with their own take on the situation, and a lot of them side with the producers and managers:
“I low-key hate to say this,” writes pixel_mover, but they’re right in a way.
“I work in Nashville in the music industry, and I’ve seen a lot of talented folks’ careers die because they came out. Billy Gillman, Ty Herndon, Chelly Wright, Jennifer Knapp… I could go on, but you get the point.
As an out lesbian, I’ve never had any issues on the business side of country and christian music, but for artists, it’s just not the same. I wish I could change it. I wish I could fix it, or give you better news, but I can’t. The industry is and always has been way the fuck behind, because there’s a giant subset of fans who are way the fuck behind. And straight fans have shown us over and over again that they won’t spend money on gay artists.
Hang in there. There’s nothing easy about this stupid industry. But there are some amazing, powerful, compassionate women in it who’ve made my job a joy. I hope you can find the same.”
Richard 55
Female pop singers who claim to be bisexual are so damn annoying. Most of them are faking it. They have sleazy PR people who encourage them to market themselves along the line of the straight male porn fantasy where all women are bi for men.
Enough is enough. The GLBT community should not reward these fake bi chicks under any circumstances. They are simply props for a bunch of sleazeballs who smoke cigars in smelly offices and who refer to gay men as “disgusting fa_gs”.
Go away, fake bi chicks.
DarkZephyr
Where the hell is your heart, Brian? Didn’t you just read what she is going through?
Donston
Brian being sympathetic to a person with a vagina? Don’t you know better?
This type of mess, if it’s true (and if it’s not true in this case it’s definitely true in many others), heightens how anti-gay the entertainment industry actually is and how it’s filled with self-haters and people manipulating their “identities” and how for the most part it’s not beneficial to LGBTQ except in the most shallow of ways. However, it is the industry you choose (and I’m talking about acting, music, sports, fashion- hell, even porn). Unless you’re willing to keep it 100 about who they are inherently as well as whatever your “lifestyle choice” is and deal with whatever ramifications then you simply lie, tell half-truths or say nothing. That’s just how it goes.
captfuzzybuns
Please site your sources.
Paco
“but if any questions come up I should just avoid it by saying something about fluidity and not everyone needs a label.”
—–
LOL… More evidence that the whole “No Labels” BS is exactly BS, and is only used to protect heterosexual interests and used to promote the closet as the acceptable way for non-heteros to live.
ErikO
This is a fake reddit post made by a fake reddit account.
BlackCare555
Stay at home mom Kelly Richards from New York after resigning from her full time job managed to average from $6000-$8000 a month from freelancing at home… This is how she done it
……. ffff
???USA~JOB-START
DCguy
I Am so f-ing tired of all of these people admitting how bigoted the entertainment industry is without ever naming the companies that are enforcing this bigotry.
ANY other industry who had THIS many people routinely talking about how bigoted it is would have state attorneys general breathing down their neck. Time for the entertainment industry to get a taste of what other industries have to deal with.
LARRY
you are correct! and time for the spineless fags in the industry to put truth before dollars.
Bromancer7
You’re missing the big picture. It’s not the entertainment industry that’s bigoted, it’s the American people that are bigoted. The industry exists to make money, so of course they’re going to tell artists not to come out if it means it’s going to derail their careers.
If people weren’t homophobes there would be no need for the industry to encourage artists to not come out.
And while there are now more out musicians and actors than ever, how many of them are reaching superstar status? Many, like NPH have carved out little niches for themselves, but they’re finding their potential is limited by their sexual orientation.
Donston
What irritates me is how the entertainment industry constantly tries to portray itself as “progressive”, “forward-thinking” and “open-minded”. Yet, you look just a tad deeper and you see how much megalomania and hypocrisy and image manipulation there still is. Almost every openly gay famous person in entertainment (who isn’t still somewhat ashamed of themselves or who isn’t a sexual predator or a sugar daddy) has mentioned how rampant the bigotry, the abundant closet cases and the pressure to stay closeted is.
It remains all about image and the bottom line. And that’s fine. The pacifying is what annoys me.
But until many people are willing to be 100 about who they are, live in their self-truth, name names and really go at the industry’s nonsense is gonna remain a constant. As far as the “bottom line” goes the more there are the less people will care.
LARRY
I am sympathetic to your situation but sorry honey having come out of the closet close to 40 years ago I get very very angry and tired of the bullshit pushed by you spineless pos. Until you come out all of you, and start pointing fingers at the folks who tell you this shit I have no compassion. Dollars are what matters to you not truth and as such you are a fake, pathetic piece of shit.
1EqualityUSA
Come out. If it hits you financially, live more simply.
missuniverse
Terrible article. No sources ..total fantasy.
Publishing this article hurts Queerty”s credibility for journalism.
Jim
The longer these no-balls people hide in their closet, the longer it’ll take for complete mainstream nonchalance about a person’s sexuality. Worse, these well-known persons could be a beacon of light to teens and young adults who are wrestling with their own sexuality, and being out, proud and successful is a great role model for the younger persons.
Pigeonholed into only gay roles means you’re not a good actor or actress.
dean089
I lost interest in this article early on when I saw “…she was openly bisexual but leaned more towards dating other men. ” What “other men?” Was this sentence originally written about a guy and we’re just recycling articles? Besides, what’s the point? ‘Ooh, the entertainment industry talks a big story but in reality is no more or less open-minded than the rest of the America?’ Yeah, we all know that. Next.
stevetalbert
The longer people keep hiding and lieing just confirms gay people are not to be trusted and that there is something wrong with being gay. Its not wrong, it’s different than being straight but/and also very similar. People get fired all the time because they are gay. Join the club and take a number for my tiny violin serenade. This person isnt forced into the entertainment industry. The people that were listed as “being hurt” are still wealthier and more succesgful than the average gay person working at an office, grocery store, or Bible College, and SO much more protected from physical harm. They also have much more power to change the status quo for the better. The more people come out the more it will be a non issue.
Chris
It’s a chicken/egg problem: singers will come out when it doesn’t harm their careers like happened to Melissa Etheridge and kd lang whose careers flatten out when they came out.
People’s careers won’t be harmed when enough people have come out that coming out has minimal influence on people’s careers like Adam Lambert.
In the mean time, I say that each person should follow what their conscience tells them to do. We’ll get there eventually.
dubstepskater
Who cares if a singer is gay, bi, straight, etc…. Music is music!!!! Either it’s good or it’s not… My party playlist has artists such as: Adam Lambert, Katie Perry, The Chainsmokers, Lady Gaga, Adele, Drake, and Imagine Dragons to name a few…
Also, who cares an actor/actress sexual orientation… It’s about their acting skills. If you have mad skills, people are going to watch your movie, show, etc…. no matter how you identify…