Broken Record

Pope Believes Marriage Equality Will Lead to the End of the World. So What Else is New?

In his continuing effort to demonstrate his warm pastoral side, Pope Benedict has decided to proclaim that marriage equality threatens “human dignity and the future of humanity itself.” This is quite a statement from a man who wears red pumps and presides over the world’s largest club for pedophiles. Benedict made his comments in a New Year’s address to the diplomatic corps accredited to the Vatican, which makes one wonder what hyperbole he would have resorted to under less restrained circumstances.

The pope’s defense of traditional marriage as a zero sum game that can’t possibly be expanded focused on the Church’s view of marriage as the sacrament of procreation. Children need to be educated in the right “settings,” the pope declared, elaborating that “pride of place goes to the family, based on the marriage of a man and a woman”–just in case you had any doubts.

“This is not a simple social convention, but rather the fundamental cell of every society,” Benedict said in his stemwinder. “Consequently, policies which undermine the family threaten human dignity and the future of humanity itself.” Yes, expanding marriage equality will wipe us all off the face of the earth because–help us with the logic here, please.

Now, none of this is a surprise, given that Benedict established his reputation as Pope John Paul II’s hatchet man by attacking gays and lesbians. His most notable accomplishment as head of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith was the so-called Halloween letter, in which the Vatican declared homosexuality was “more or less strong tendency ordered toward an intrinsic moral evil.” As pope, Benedict has extended his homophobic rhetoric on a regular basis. And career-oriented clergy are making sure that they echo Benedict’s line if they want a promotion. It’s not by chance that New York Archbishop Timothy Dolan was recently named cardinal, given Dolan’s own screwy attacks on marriage equality.

Of course, the long term problem for the Vatican is that many Catholics in the U.S. have entirely different views of marriage equality. Still the Church hierarchy seems intent on repeating the same top-down push it did with contraception (so to speak), and with likely the same result: fewer people in the pews. Of course, those that are left are more likely to resemble Rick Santorum. We only hope that they’ll be just about as popular.

Image via Sergey Gabdurakhmanov

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  • christopher di spirito

    More antigay hate speech from the Catholic’s Nazi-loving, priest-child rapist tolerating, sanctimonious spiritual leader. I hope RatNAZI has a heart attack and dies. This year.

  • ToyChristopher

    I know it’s childish but that pope really looks like a troll. I mean if hollywood had a casting call for “evil clergy” he would win the part.

  • Jhanes

    He who knows does not speak. He who speaks does not know. I guess what I’m trying to say is, Mr Pope please shut up !

  • Chris

    The logic is this: Gay sex is sooo much hotter than straight sex that if we encourage it even a tiny bit then everyone will become addicted to it and no one will ever procreate again and the human race will just die out.

    That has so many logical fallacies in it that you’ll probably die laughing before you finish pointing them all out, but yes, that is what the pope is seriously saying. It’s the same argument they use against birth control.

  • Joetx

    What’s with the ad for that pathetic excuse of an institution of higher learning, the homophobic Liberty University?

  • Phantom

    Lol, guys can get pregnant with the help of science, so that means if there are only gays on this planet and they can get pregnant because of science and produce children, so we won’t die out after all lol

  • Chad

    @christopher di spirito: I was thinking more along the line of Alzheimers…make him suffer.

  • Kev C

    Holy Hyperbole, Batman!

  • B

    No. 4 · Chris wrote, “The logic is this: Gay sex is sooo much hotter than straight sex that if we encourage it even a tiny bit then everyone will become addicted to it …”

    Did you ever see a very funny interview with Joseph Farrah (editor of the right-wing, homophobic World Net Daily) where he more or less said that as well? Then his interviewer complimented him on his clothes, and they faded to a scene from The Birdcage where Robin Williams was dressed very similarly, and with an equally similar mustache.

  • Chad

    Dear Pope Beenadick Palpatine Ratstinker,

    Just to let you know gay and lesbian couples are already living their lives as “married couples” the only differnece is government recognition. Giving these couples the same rights as someone who gets married at a Las Vegas drive through chapel by an Elvis impersonator WILL not end the world. However telling a continent ravaged with AIDS/HIV that condoms are not the solution, will end civilizations. I once heard a quote that said “You no playa the game, you no makea the rules”

  • gus

    Makes you wonder if he is a bottom or a top?

  • jimbo

    That idiot believes he is talking on behalf of a magic,invisible sky-deity, I wouldn’t listen too carefully to a person that deluded.

    Also, if his Imaginary friend is so All-Powerful, why does The-Magic-Sky-Bully keep creating us?

  • Shannon1981

    Funny, I thought it was pedophilia that was the threat, or, at least it should be, as far as this loon and his flock is concerned. He needs help. I simply cannot bring myself to feel anything but complete disgust with regards to someone who actually wrote a letter telling people to keep quiet about child abuse until the statute of limitations ran out, and also shunted pedophiles from diocese to diocese when they were caught touching kids. Why can’t he see that he needs to clean up the mess in his own house (or better yet, condemn said house), before he tries to tell anyone else how to live and what is good for humanity? This man is a deluded enabler of child abuse. I still want to know, and I’ll keep asking until I get a suitable answer, why the hell isn’t he in jail?

  • macmantoo

    According to the Pope of Pedophiles, the sky is falling the sky is falling.

  • Mike UK

    @Shannon1981: we all know it happened but unfortunately if “he” didn’t see it happen then it didn’t happen and as long as he goes on believing that line then nothing will happen and the catholic church will stay morally bankrupt and in denial!!!

  • Shannon1981

    @Mike UK: I don’t think it’s possible for the Catholic Church to be anything but a morally bankrupt, child molesting religious cult. Time for a legal demolition crew for the entire institution and an arrest warrant for crimes against humanity, and the maximum count of child molestation charges for the Pope, ending with a conviction to the tune of life UNDER the worst prison for the most hardened criminals, Alcatraz style,if you ask me.


    @Shannon1981: Hey, girl. When I went 2 my Father-in-Laws’ funeral I was at a Catholic church. All they did was spew rhetorical rituals that felt robotic. I did not feel closer 2 God when all one does is sit, kneel, and stand. That religion took a lot of rituals from paganism just so they would indoctrinate people of the earth worshiping religions. I belief religion is confining and narrow minded where as SPIRITUALITY frees one’s soul and allows for freedom of thought.

  • Shannon1981

    @TASTEY GOODIES: Hey, wow, I hope you can be at peace with his death now…

    The institution is little more than a show and a political one. They are brainwashed to believe the outrageous things they spew about others while continuing to be so internally corrupt. I feel for anyone having to set foot inside one of those churches for any reason.

    My condolences again, hon. How are you?

  • Donnie

    Am I the only one who thinks he looks like Palpatine from Star Wars? From the second I laid eyes on this man I didn’t like him. He is pure evil.

  • Robroberts


    Hey girl, no need 2 abbreviate here — thus isn’t a texting session between your girlie buddies. Please learn to communicate properly in public — UR embarrasing me, can’t UC?

  • Queer Supremacist

    Give me one good reason why the Vatican should not be invaded, conquered and colonized.

  • ron

    @Queer Supremacist: Too many little boys would get trampled and wounded.

  • B

    No. 12 · jimbo wrote, “Also, if his Imaginary friend is so All-Powerful, why does The-Magic-Sky-Bully keep creating us?”

    Presumably for the same reason that Microsoft keeps on putting out new versions of Word. Being “all powerful” apparently doesn’t mean you can write bug-free code.

Comments are closed.