Pope Francis Is Willing To Baptize Martians But He Still Won’t Marry You

Marvin-The-Martian-psd32703You don’t have to be human to be baptized Catholic. That’s the latest from Pope Francis. In a homily to the faithful, the “who am I to judge” pontiff said that the Catholic Church is open to everyone, including aliens from outer space.

“If, for example, tomorrow an expedition of Martians came to us here and one said ‘I want to be baptized!’, what would happen?” Francis mused. “Martians, right? Green, with long noses and big ears, like in children’s drawings.”

The answer, Francis said, was to baptize the Martian, saying that the Holy Spirit impels the Church to accept people (or aliens) no matter how “unimaginable.”

“Who are we to close doors?” the pope asked. 

Of course, the door remains bolted shut when it comes to same-sex marriages. The conclave that Pope Francis has called to discuss the issue isn’t likely to result in any policy changes. So, if you really want to get in the Vatican’s good graces, you might want to paint yourself green. Otherwise, it’s going to be a long wait.