Royally Screwed

Pope Francis To Visit Uganda To Honor Martyrs Who Refused Sex With Gay King

Screen Shot 2014-02-28 at 11.14.26 AMBack in 1885, nearly 130 years before Uganda’s recently passed anti-homosexual law, the area was ruled by a king.

A gay king.

King Mwanga II kept many young men at his constant beck and call, and executed those who refused his advances — a precursor to Grindr’s block button.

Here’s where the pope comes in. This all happened just after the Catholics had arrived, and part of what enraged the king was that the missionaries clearly didn’t support any gay goings on.

The men who died as a result of turning down a roll in the hay with King Touchy Feely were canonized as martyrs almost 50 years ago, and Pope Francis plans to visit Uganda to mark the anniversary.

“The irony is that the martyrs were killed for resisting the homosexual advances of the Bugandan king, Mwanga. Sort of flies in the face of the “homosexuality is un-African” script,” said Junior Mayema, an African gay rights activist.


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  • Mezaien

    Send the Uganda, gays to the USA and all the PeeParty, or Tea, party to Uganda. I am sure they will be happier party.

  • Jersey2013

    @ Mezaien, I agree especially if the Ugandans look like Mr-sexy-bedroom-eyes King Mwanga.

  • bobbyjoe

    Yeah, to everyone who praised Francis as some new and improved Pope (cough, cough, The Advocate, cough, cough), here’s a giant middle finger. So the Pope is visiting Uganda right after they passed their “life imprisonment to gays” virtual holocaust law? And he’s visiting to specifically honor those who martyred themselves to fend off a gay man? The symbolism couldn’t be more vile, nor this tacit stamp of approval to the torture and murder of gays and lesbians. Turns out Francis is as evil as every other damn Pope.

  • sportyguy1983

    “…and executed those who refused his advances — a precursor to Grindr’s block button.” Really? That is a flippant remark to make concerning a serious issue.

  • NG22

    @Jersey2013: Right? This King was totally hot. I would have fucked him.

    Of course it’s heinous that he killed those who refused him, but no one is perfect, right?

  • the other Greg

    wow – I just looked him up on Wikipedia and he was quite a horny dude, he also had 16 wives and fathered 10 children. (Is this “bisexual erasure” again?)

  • Cy

    I don’t agree with the timing of this Honoring, being so soon after the passing of such terrible laws in that country for gay people, it will be interpretted by some as papal approval, and likely lead to even further violence towards the gay community. That being said, I’d also have to say, as a gay man with morals, I will stand by this pope’s side in spirit, on this issue. But wounds need healing, not scratching, in this world.

  • blueshirt409

    I saw we give the Pope a chance. He very likely is aware that the issue is a hot topic in Uganda right now. He may well urge tolerance. He has, after all, called for the Church to stop focusing on the issue and turn its attention to other matters. He may be using the anniversary as an excuse to speak on the issue and the trip as a way to call attention to it, rather than merely issuing another statement that day, which the Ugandans would just ignore. He may not have our backs 100%, but he’s definitely better than the other Popes in recent memory.

  • blueshirt409

    I meant to say, “I SAY we give [him] a chance….”

  • Daveliam

    @the other Greg: I was just coming here to say the same thing. This guy was bisexual, it seems.

  • Archangelo

    “Besides just being an odd bit of history, the story is important in that it proves being gay and African aren’t mutually exclusive, as some would ridiculously have the world believe.”

    It’s unfortunate that this bat crap crazy psychopath is being cited as “proof” of the existence of homosexuality in Uganda.

  • MK Ultra

    The pope is an @sshole.
    Let’s stop playing in semantics and playing the “what if” game.
    HE IS NOT GAY FRIENDLY, and no matter how some people may want to stretch his actions out of context to make him appear “friendlier”, that doesn’t change the reality

  • sdartnut

    Have we ever known an African ruler to execute some of his countrymen? Could it be that they were killed not because of his sexual advances but because they may have opposed him politically? Could that have been a twist put on the story to make him look worse than he was by detractors, like Christian missionaries? Maybe the ones killed were trying to smother the national spirituality with one of the European invaders?

  • Respect4all

    @bobbyjoe: I’m with you.

  • Respect4all

    @Archangelo: Nobody has to “prove” that being gay and African are not mutually exclusive. All the gay Africans already know that, as does everyone with a sane, functioning brain between their ears. The idiots and lunatics who refuse to believe that gay people have existed in every culture since the beginning of humanity are going to take a lot more work.

  • dan4equality

    @dan4equality: *invented by

  • andy_d

    @bobbyjoe: You got that right! I always said to wait and see. Well I’ve waited and I am definitely seeing.

  • Archangelo

    @Respect4all: My response was an attempt at sarcasm. However, if you read the quote from the article, it specifically says “the story is important in that it PROOVES being gay and African aren’t mutually exclusive, as some would ridiculously have the world believe.” That was what I responding to. Your beef should be with the author of the article, not with me.

  • Respect4all

    @Archangelo: I didn’t see that sentence in the article. But anyway, no beef with you at all. I’m a vegetarian.

  • darkorient

    @sportyguy1983: Totally agree with you. While we don’t necessarily agree with the pope’s action, we shouldn’t make light of such a big crime just because the criminal was supposed to be one of us.

  • Archangelo

    @Respect4all: LOL!!!

  • ChiChi Man

    It would seem that European Christians have been exporting homophobia to Africa for a very long time.

  • ProfessorVP

    There are always going to be some people who, if they see a sign that says WET FLOOR… they will. If some people are going to believe that being African and being gay are mutually exclusive, if anyone can be so naïve and dim-witted, there’s nothing that can be done about that, or should even be attempted. I’ll say this about the Catholic Church. They just had to tell anyone in Africa who’d listen that condoms cause AIDS, not help prevent it. And I’ll say this about Francis. Thinking, “Gosh, maybe this new pope won’t be as evil as his predecessors,” is the kind of childlike wistfulness of our departed Shirley Temple. Scrunching up your face and wishing hard doesn’t make your wish come true. Not in the real world.

  • GeriHew

    @the other Greg: No, he can’t have been bisexual he must have been a total homo if he had sixteen wives and only managed to have 10 children.

  • DickieJohnson

    It seems to me the greatest concern is that this Papal Visit will appear to give blessing to the violence and murder of LGBT people in Uganda. Am I the only one who thinks that?

  • Geos

    If you wonder how this kind of shit happens the answer is very clear: religion. That is the filth that pollutes peoples minds with ignorance, stupidity and hatred. This is the face of our psychopathic, power hungry, bloodthirsty enemy:

    They know they can get away with this because gays are a soft target. There is no penalty to be paid for their demonization, torture & murder. If I had the money I’d sponsor death squads to bring justice to David Kato’s murders and the rest of the anti-gay Nazis but alas we have no armies so this will continue until we show there IS a price to pay for this hate mongering. But that won’t happen because we’re still so powerless as a community. Respect comes at the end of a gun. -Mao

Comments are closed.