Pope Opens Mouth, Nothing Comes Out

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We really don’t know why we continue to give Pope Benedict XVI so much press. It’s not like he needs it, but yet we can’t seem to stop. (Also, we wanted to put the Pope next to Tanya Turner. There’s some symbolism in there. We’re just not sure where.)

Anyway, his alleged holiness made yet another speech in which he condemns homos. In this one, however, they were just veiled admonishments.
No fire and brimstone talk, no eternal damnation, just a little finger wagging. 365 Gay reports:

In an hour-long speech to Italian bishops and lay leaders, Benedict warned that a secular shift in the West had led to threats to traditional families, including “other forms of unions,” a reference to gay marriage.

We must admit that we prefer when Benny and his homies go on about the blasphemous nature of gay marriage. You know: the one in which they insist the world will be brought to a a totally shitty apocalyptic end. True (and straight) believers will fly off to heaven, where they’ll enjoy a nice lemonade with Jesus and have a laugh at all the flaming flamers.

That’s far more exciting than a passing reference, a route we think puts the Pope more the category of pussy loser, rather than papal leader. If you’re gonna hate, hate like you mean it.

Of course, that’s not all he said:

Pope Benedict has urged Italians to remain faithful to their Christian traditions, saying they can be examples to the world and enable dialogue with other cultures that are deeply religious.

He said that cultures in which “God is excluded” _ referring to a secularized West _ “were not able to establish a real dialogue with other cultures in which the religious dimension is strongly present.”

Yeah, because The Catholic Church really knows about bridging cultural divides. They just call it proselytization.

One last note: the Pope praised Italian faith and said “the Christian traditions are often deeply rooted and continue to produce fruit.” Yeah, it produces fruits, alright. Then it beats them down until they think they’re sinful monsters, leading to exceedingly unhealthy, often violent expressions of repressed sexuality, eg: Anthony Mercieca.