Posh Wants You, US

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Poor Victoria “Mrs. David” Beckham. She really, really wants America to like her, but sometimes it seems like The States will never appreciate her utter ridiculousness. Luckily, she’s got a few things up her sleeves. Or, rather, on her chest. The Daily Mail reports:

In her quest to become a U.S. television star, Victoria Beckham is prepared to use every asset at her disposal.

And that means two in particular.

Mindful of the Americans’ fondness for spectacular cleavage, the 32-year-old mother of three has been taking every opportunity to show off her ever-growing breasts.

Of course, if that doesn’t work, she’s allegedly in talks with former Spice Girls manager and Simon Cowell‘s better production half Simon Fuller to start a show that’s described as a “cross between Project Catwalk (The British Project Runway) and Next Top Model.”

Great. Just what we need: more fluffy fashion reality television and another set of talking tits. Shit, who are we kidding? If Posh gets a show here in America, we’ll be hooked even before it starts.