Not having a prayer

Preacher teaches his congregation how to avoid “foo-foo fruit loop” gay waiters

Check, please? Last week, fundamentalist preacher/human war crime Adam Fannin thought it wise to dedicate one of his sermons to the ins and outs of avoiding gay service people.

According to Patheos, the vaguely humanoid specimen is a pastor over at Jacksonville Stedfast Baptist in Florida.

Related: Kevin Swanson, a.k.a. the ‘Poop Pastor,’ says God sent Hurricane Harvey to punish queers

Incidentally, this is the same guy who celebrated the Pulse massacre, saying, “the earth is a little bit better place now.”

Speaking to his congregation, Fannin said:

“If I ever go to a restaurant and you sit down, and then here comes this flaming foo-foo fruit loop, right? And you’re like, ‘Oh great. I’m here to have date night, enjoy some time with my wife, and I can’t… because of the lisps, I can’t even, you know.’

My recommendation — if you don’t just get up and leave — my recommendation is just don’t order anything. ‘Well, here, let me get you a drink.’ No, just wait. Just wait. And you sit there patiently and you look around, and you will find a lady that looks like a mom, that looks like a very diligent worker.

You will find somebody that you notice that’s busy, that’s doing stuff. You say, ‘Yeah, that’s the one right there!’ You walk up to them and you say, ‘Hey, what’s your name? Have we had you before? Can we get you over here?’… I guarantee you it always works… Then you can enjoy your dinner and, hey, you better tip her well! Let that foo-foo know what he missed out on, okay? That’s how you avoid a gay waiter.”

Watch the sermon below, if you can stomach it: