Prince Reads the Bible With His Gays

“I have friends that are gay and we study the Bible together.” —Grammy-winning recording artist and maybe homophobe Prince [E!]

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24 Comments

  • John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)

    He’s soooo LOST.

    :(

  • A.S.

    And kinda Icky

  • adzomelk

    & kinda stiky i wud be SO afraid to get near him

  • seitan-on-a-stick

    This was the artist so-up-himself’s quote:

    “But there’s the problem of interpretation, and you’ve got some churches, some people, basically doing things and saying it comes from here, but it doesn’t. And then on the opposite end of the spectrum you’ve got blue, you’ve got the Democrats, and they’re, like, ‘You can do whatever you want.’ Gay marriage, whatever. But neither of them is right… God came to earth and saw people sticking it wherever and doing it with whatever, and he just cleared it all out. He was, like, ‘Enough.’”

    It’s as if he’s channeling, Like ya know, Caroline Kennedy

    Just ask Kylie Minogue and a bevy of A-list women who did not do the casting couch with the purple ickiness of STDs. The ones who slept with him are obviously F-list (and a little itchy and scratchy after the underwhelming former pop star made them stars in their own mind!)

    On Mud Will Be Flung Tonight, Bette Midler asks of his royal purplesness “I just want to know the Sex of my Symbol. Fuck the wrong person and your arm drops off.”

    Thanks, I will go to Britney for my moral values and not the skeeviest person in the music business.

    Got Clap? Only if you slept with Prince!

  • Dudous Migratorious

    Oh NO! Flashback to the only good part of Purple Rain: When ____________came out of Lake Minnetonka. Who was that woman? I was soo wasted when I saw it.

  • PearlsBeforeSwine

    Musicians are not the brightest people. Why do you expect them to make sense? Why should you pay any attention to Unpronouncable Symbol or to Melissa Etheridge and Rufus Wainwright?

  • Alex Sarmiento

    Let me guess: Prince offers his gay friends water and donuts at their Bible study meetings.

  • Eminent Victorian

    The Artist Formerly Known as Talented.

  • Mikey Garcia

    @Dudous Migratorious: Appalonia! Yeah, she was so beautiful… Even more so than Prince tried to look in that movie. That said, has this guy even had any sort of relevance since Purple Rain? Due, I support your decisio. To pick up a bible and put down the anal-eze, if that makes you happy… However, SHUT THE FUCK UP. Please.

  • Dudous Migratorious

    @Mikey Garcia: Ahhh Appollonia. Thanks Mikey, and ditto to what you said. So this is what it sounds like when doves cry.

  • George Baily

    Does anyone really care what this has-been has to say?

  • TikiHead

    “A dwarf dipped in a vat of pubic hair.” – Boy George

    But that’s insulting dwarfs and pubic hair.

  • seitan-on-a-stick

    Prince………..of nothing, nowhere and no-one!

    1999 Reduxe

    1959, The “Lost” version

    Don’t worry, I won’t hurt U…with my little penis and the pus oozing out the tip
    I only want U 2 have some fun, take a number until they call your slip and pull your pants down and show your bum

    I was dreamin’ when I wrote this or was it the medication that relieves my Syphillis, forgive me if it goes astray but I’m at the Dementia stage
    But when I woke up this mornin’, could’ve sworn it was Judgment Day and Sheila had stolen my “E”
    The sky was all purple or was Barney the dinosaur on top of me, there were people runnin’ everywhere, ears bleeding at my screeching lyrics and bad chord changes not fit for American Idol (except the rejects)
    Tryin’ 2 run from the destruction of becoming a Mormon devotee, U know I didn’t even care because, like, ya know, I couldn’t form a thought in my head without mispelling “and” and “the”

    Cuz they say 2000 zero zero party over, oops, out of time!
    Gotta put another nickel in the slot to see what Betty Page is up to next…
    So 2night I’m gonna party like it’s 1959!

    I was dreamin’ when I wrote this and the ink came from my bleeding ass, so sue me if I go 2 fast or drop gas
    But life is just a party and parties weren’t meant 2 last especially when you give the band members the Clap
    War is all around us or is that the voices in my head, my mind says prepare 2 fight the numeric system I keep pulling out my Ass
    So if I gotta die from AIDS, I’m gonna listen 2 my body 2night and get my meds from Canada like all the other closeted celebrities

    Yeah, they say 2000 zero zero party over, oops, out of time, and nickels!
    So 2night I’m gonna party like it’s 1959! (Yeah, yeah….or not!)

    People, let me tell U somethin’ substantial for a change
    If U didn’t come 2 party on Crystal-Meth, don’t bother knockin’ on my door without your stash and pipe
    I got a lion in my pocket and his name is Kimba unlike Michael Jackson and, baby, he’s ready 2 roar with Jesus Juice and Viagra-laced cupcakes (Yeah, little boys and girls)
    Everybody’s got a bomb per my paranoid delusions, we could all die any day if you sleep with me (Oh)
    But before I let that happen, I’ll dance my life away and eat a few more cupcakes

    Oh, they say 2000 zero zero party over, oops, out of time!
    (We’re runnin’ out of time and stopped counting at 300)
    So 2night I’m gonna party like it’s 1959! (We gonna, we gonna, oh!) “Not Gonna Do It!”

    Say it one more time: Don’t sleep with Prince if you want to survive
    2000 zero zero party over, oops, out of time! (No, no means yes, Appolonia)
    So 2night I’m gonna party like it’s 1959 as a member of the Curch of Latter-Day Hate! (We’re gonna, we gonna take over America and outlaw other religions)

    [ Prince Lyrics are found on http://www.songlyrics.com ]
    Alwhite, 1959
    U Gay it, 1959
    1959 (1959)

    Don’t stop, don’t stop, say it one more time with a string of pearls and your bible in hand
    2000 zero zero party over, oops, out of time thanks to Y2K! (Yeah, yeah, it’s a conspiracy of those hot, mufuckn sexi gays!)
    So 2night I’m gonna party like it’s 1959! (We gonna, we’re gonna wind the clocks back and take away your rights!)

    Yeah, 1959 (1959)
    Don’t U wanna go pee pee in a cup? (1959)
    Don’t U wanna go take my drug test before my show? (1959)
    We could all die any day but you go first (1959)
    I don’t wanna die from AIDS, I’d rather dance my life away and infect the female population(1959)
    Listen 2 what I’m tryin’ 2 say that I’m not Gay
    Everybody, everybody say party except the Gays!
    Come on now, U say it then I’ll spray you with my urine (Party!)
    That’s right, everybody say “Sleep with Prince and DIE!”
    (Party!) {repeat in BG}
    Can’t run from Revelation, no! Can’t understand the pamphlet at the Mexican medical clinic with the White Jesus in the Light
    Sing it 4 your nation of Christians who sin most, y’all!
    Dreamin’ when U’re singin’, baby and you’ll know that I didn’t go to High School Musical coz I Got High!
    Say the telephone a-ringin’ or is that me blingin’, mama, now!
    Come on, come on, U say stuffed in the cunt with a magazine
    Everybody, 2 times “God came to earth and saw people sticking it wherever and doing it with whatever, and he just cleared it all out.”
    Work it down 2 the ground, I’m sayin’ “Gay marriage, whatever.” while channeling Vanessa Hudgens
    (Oh baby, say it again) Zac Efron is Gay and I’m a Girl
    (Oh, shake your body, baby as I’m just skin and bones and bad chest hair like your Aunt Aggie in her Rockin’ Chair!)
    That’s right, come on, sing the song (y’know from the top of this crappy lyrics I smoked crack for)
    That’s right, everybody say “Prince is the artist formerly known as Talented”
    Got a lion in my pocket mama, say! “does that make me a Motherfucker today?”
    Ah, and he’s ready 2 roar! “Really, I prefer boys.”
    Yeah! just like the other Wacko who I was always jealous of for having more talent and getting more Blow!

    Mommy, why does everybody have a bomb? “Because they bought your last 7 albums your Royal Purple-ness we now Loathe!”

  • seitan-on-a-stick

    Mispelled Church………….good thing God is made up for the weak who respond with FEAR!

  • I don't think Bert and Ernie are gay... just looking for the right women.

    This really doesn’t change anything. Look, Jehovah’s Witnesses cannot be accepting of gays. Duh, they have to follow every rule or they get excommunicated. They are not only permitted to read with “sinful” people, they are encouraged to. It’s called sharing the word of God in hopes of converting.
    One of my closest friends is a JW and I still think she’s wonderful. She’s really rational until it comes to her religious beliefs. But no religious beliefs are rational. Why is it okay to believe in a God that is said to support every word in the Bible but then ignore some of his passages? Yeah, JWs are extreme, but it also doesn’t make sense to support a particular God but not support so many of his main lessons.

  • Charles J. Mueller

    JW = Jesus Wackos

  • Dawster

    ex-JW here… gay… excommunicated for it.

    believe it or not, JW’s will explain away homosexuality in so many bizarre ways. once i heard it compared to alcoholism – it may be genetic, but it doesn’t make it right!

    my mother said she ate a lot of chicken when she was pregnant with me – chicken pumped full of female hormones (the norm before we had ‘organic’ and ‘free range’ options). she thinks that’s where my gayness comes from.

    i am always weary with JWs (and Mormons, for that matter) because they may be nice, sweet, and honest… but inside they are riddled with an acidic sense of superiority (having the one true religion and all…)

    i’ve become such a better, more honest, happier, caring, and a more real person since i’ve left. it was the best thing i’ve ever done.

  • Ed

    Yikes! That’s what the skinny grape colored midget thing in my bed was doing. Proselytizing!

    I thought I just had too much acid…

  • brentbent

    Here’s an example of Prince’s absurd level of arrogance: at his home he has a series of Prince lights scattered throughout the house in every room and when he is gone they are off and once his Artistness returns the lights begin glowing again. This way all his sycophants and servants can return to the right frame of mind praising his genius otherwise he might walk in on them trash talking him and his asinine and insane ideas. Check out season 2 of The Dave Chapelle Show where he skewers Prince and his dementia.

  • michael

    I cannot deny that Prince was at least once an amazing artist, as a sex symbol or anything else all I can say is Eeeeeeewwwwwwwww! He always looked like some sort of cock roach to me.

  • scott

    never understood the lovefest for prince.

    i’m regretting i bought his greatest hits.

    sure he can write some hit songs. but so can many others.

  • Charles J. Mueller

    @Dawster:

    OMG. At least your mom took the blame for what she ate making you gay.

    My mother, who read Clifton Fadimam and Adele Davis, the High Priest and High Priestess of Nutrition religiously, blamed my queerness on the “poor” foods that I ate, so it was all my “fault”.

    That, made it “palatable” for her. (Pun intended)

    Isn’t it simply amazing what lengths people will go to in order not to have to deal with reality.

  • Dudous Migratorious

    @Charles J. Mueller: You are what you eat? I like angel food cake with whipped cream. With strawberries sometimes.

  • BobP

    She crazy.

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