The Orlando shooting is the gay community’s 9/11, a moment of such hatred and violence that our frame of reference will forever be split into what came before and what came after. The events of the past weekend have changed our lives as LGBTQ people and as Americans forever. But for me, it immediately made me think about Pulse nightclub in Orlando, and how gay nightclubs changed my life for the better.
As a 19-year-old closeted soldier coming of age in Colorado, I can remember my first real gay club vividly. It was called Hide n’ Seek. It was nothing more than a simple two-floor building in a nondescript lot in west Colorado Springs, a conservative bastion, but to me it was my welcoming world. It was the first place I interacted with other gay men, the first time I felt like a true part of the community, and, in the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell era, the only place where I could truly be myself.
The now defunct Hide n’ Seek, Pulse, and the hundreds of other gay clubs just like them all across the country and globe are our spaces where we go to be free from the prying and judgmental eyes that even in 2016 police a lot of public affection we show to each other–or what to show each other. The eyes that express silent disapproval when we dare kiss in public, hold hands, or do any of the things that opposite sex couples take for granted.
These places have been our refuges since a time where gays and lesbians could be arrested for showing affection in public or beaten and worse just for being ourselves. Over the years, we have opened them more and more, to straight women seeking to have a good time without feeling the weight of the hetero male gaze and to men and women in various stages of their coming out process looking to test the waters. The attack on us in a space that is for and by us is a violation of the values of inclusiveness that are so dear to us as LGBT people– and, yes, as Americans.
How about we take this to the next level?
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That the gay community was targeted in what ended up being the worst mass shooting in American history has shocked us out of whatever post marriage equality complacency. LGBTQ people are still hated. We are still targeted. Gay men are still hated. Gay men are still targeted. The events of the past weekend should make it quite clear that gays haven’t yet made it to the Promised Land of post-marriage-equality freedom.
How many times have we searched for the escape and pure freedom of the dance floor at a gay club, feeling completely safe and secure in the knowledge that this space is for us to be completely free a to kiss other men, to dance like nobody’s watching?
There is a long history of violence in LGBT spaces. In 1973 32 people were killed in an act of arson at The Upstairs Lounge, a gay watering hole in New Orleans. In 2013, a man named Musab Mohammed Masmari poured gasoline on the carpeted entrance to a gay nightclub and set it ablaze, intending to hurt or kill the patrons dancing inside. (Thankfully, he didn’t hurt anyone, and was arrested while attempting to flee the country.)
But this is different. This attack was part of a growing worldwide antigay ideology, one that starts with ISIS in the Middle East, but is hardly limited to this band of genocidal terrorists. Omar Mateen’s attack on the LGBT community was not just deadlier. 49 people, mostly young gay men, have been executed for the unforgivable crime of being openly gay in America. It was also scarier because everyone knows how vulnerable our bars, clubs and community centers are to the violence of haters.
I am an Iraq war veteran. I served as an infantryman in Kirkuk for a little under a year after the invasion of Iraq. I am disturbingly aware of what it is like to look into the eyes of such men. Over there, the enemy was quite clear. The people who pledge allegiance to ISIS and believe in radical Islam want us to live in fear, and they despise gay people.
The terrorists who hate us and pledge allegiance to ISIS want us to think twice before we celebrate our freedoms as Americans. They want us to now think twice about attending that LGBT pride event, or going to that nightclub, or kissing our partners on the streets. But we know that we cannot give into that fear. We know that we also can’t give into the divisiveness and hate that is on the tips of our tongues right now because we are so shaken and afraid.
We know that we can say the words “radical Islam” without devolving into Islamophobia. We know that we must encourage our gay Muslim brothers and sisters to come out and speak up within their own communities, because we know that their voices can go so much further than ours alone. We know that we must always remember the lives that were lost in Orlando, that we must say their names, and that they must never be forgotten.
And we know that post-Orlando like in post-9/11, we will eventually come back to some semblance of normal despite the new threat hanging over our heads. We will continue to dance. We will continue to love. We will not cower in the closet or in the safety of anonymity on apps and web sites because of the actions of one sick individual, not matter how many copycats might be lurking. We will continue to celebrate pride as LGBT people because living our lives openly and honestly is the ultimate retaliation for the Orlando mass murderer and to those who want us to be afraid.
Rob Smith is a multimedia journalist and author of Closets, Combat and Coming Out: Coming of Age as a Gay Man in the ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ Army. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter @robsmithonline.
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Brian
Gay nightclubs may be fun but they are also a form of segregation. I have real problems with a community that segregates itself from the mainstream in this way. It suggests a preference for segregation over integration.
I don’t know whether it’s wise to have a gay identity, either. A gay identity also suggests a love of segregation. It also suggests a desire to be thought of as a persecuted minority. It’s a form of self-imposed victimhood.
I’m not entirely disparaging gay nightclubs. Fun can be had. But why is it necessary in 2016 to still have segregated dance clubs? I thought we had fought for the right to be integrated and free, not segregated and confined.
DMRX
@Brian: Because we still have a very real fear of being beaten up (or worse) at a straight club.
Caine
As a New Yorker who lived through 9/11, I find the comparison to be preposterous, idiotic and even a little offensive.
gayhope1990
@DMRX:Brian is a troll don’t feed the troll please.The homophobia is not vanished we must find our safe spaces.The homophobia is strong we must fight back.
red1979
Didn’t new evidence just come to light that the shooter did it because of a jilted lover type of situation? That hardly compares to 9/11.
Mo Bro
Mr. Smith –
I’m sincerely grateful for your service, and for pointing out that Mateen was part of an ever-growing anti-American ideology that cannot be reasoned or negotiated with—they must be dealt with quickly and harshly, lest we have another Orlando massacre.
Best,
Steve
Mykaels
I get what he is saying, but… no.
First of all, this was not the first attack on a gay night club, just the worst. Secondly, this is not the first act of violence against gays in general. Third, this does not indicate any new “war” against us. Its the exact same war we have been fighting for over a century in this country, for centuries including other countries. Indeed, reporting on violence against gays at gay pride events is a recent phenomenon, but hardly new going back to the original pride parades.
Radical Islam is not a new front in the war either; it is reinforcements to the dying anti gay Christian vanguard that has been thrashed through activism.
We absolutely must address/acknowledge this, but we mustn’t erase our history to do so.
Baba Booey Fafa Fooey
@Caine: Explain.
Captain Obvious
No it’s no the same. This man had issues, he acted alone, and he was a patron of the club. He clearly wasn’t popular there, something clearly set him off there, and he had an action much more akin to SCHOOL SHOOTINGS… but no one is going to mention that because the people who committed school shootings were white and they don’t want people to associate white mass murderers with terrorism. Agendas everywhere and all of them stupid.
Stop spreading this nonsense that will then be used to start another war. Muslims are a HUGE population. This American ignorance against them will cost us more than it will cost them. You want so badly to get this “Islamic extremism” phrase going yet when a white person walks into a building and shoots up a ton of people you don’t call it anything. The KKK existing in this country plotting and planning against non-white people you call that nothing and don’t investigate them.
Stop your idiotic paranoia. This is nothing like 9/11. This was like COLUMBINE, how about that. Focus on reality and stop hoping everyone is so dim they’ll just follow your agenda like sheep.
Bob LaBlah
After extensive investigations of all of the 9-11 hijackers, many of Mohammad Atta’s German neighbors (he lived in Germany for a stint) said that he appeared VERY unsettled when he was around strait couple who displayed public affection for each other but did NOT look at gay couple in disgust for some reason as most arabs are known to do. If you look at the reports of those 9-11 hijackers many of them were drug addicts and miscreants of society whom no doubt saw mass murder as a redemption for being nothing else than what they WERE, gay or strung out on drugs.
Our “friend” in Orlando struck me as the fisting type who was too damn stupid to tell his father to fuck off. I’ll BET his father was hounding him about the possibility of his (Matteen) being gay and he simply couldn’t handle it and sought murder as a redemption. So much for his islamic teachings.
dean089
9/11 was a response to the 1990-1991 U.S. bombing of Baghdad where 250,000 people were killed. Gay people didn’t kill anyone. WE didn’t start this. The LGBT version of Kristallnacht might be a better comparison.
Kangol
@Bob LaBlah: You wrote: “Our “friend” in Orlando struck me as the fisting type who was too damn stupid to tell his father to fuck off.”
OK, did you really envision this murderous monster engaging in “fisting”? Or do you mean something else? I’m all for free expression and sharing our thoughts, but man, TMI.
Bob LaBlah
@Kangol: My apologies to all who for whatever reason got offend but this guy, to me, liked it rough. I read about his background in school (a known disciplinary problem since the third grade) and his inability to show affection to anyone I feel confident I called this one right.
As for TMI, I am assuming you are being sarcastic and not trying to resurrect “him”. I mean seriously, what gay sex topic hasn’t been discussed on Queerty? That’s what I love about the site.
Masc Pride
9/11 was 9/11. Pulse was Pulse. If you have to compare tragedies to make your point, your argument clearly isn’t strong enough on its own. If you knew someone that died or is still suffering as a result of 9/11, you wouldn’t appreciate some silly blogger reducing 9/11 to some sort of tie. It’s not a race. This is unnecessary and tasteless (even for Queerty).
@Caine: Totally agree. The comparison is extremely inappropriate, insensitive and opportunistic. It’s most likely counterproductive too. Such a comparison will likely garner more animosity than sympathy.
o.codone
The tragedy in Orlando is like 9/11 in several ways. Until Orlando most gay people were not aware that islam presented a clear and present danger to the everyday lives. Now we know. Until Orlando we didn’t have to wrap our heads around the politics of fighting islam. Now we need a political strategy. Until Orlando we felt free to go about our daily lives without being targeted, (with a few prudent precautions), now we need (figurative) metal detectors, bomb proofing and no-fly lists to keep our communities safe.
So, what to do?
1. Admit it. Islam has come for us.
2. Enlist. The old ways of doing politics, gay=democrat, is no longer enough. Either vote for Trump or demand that Hillary change her immigration strategy to protect us. She cannot open the doors randomly to any Muslim as if it doesn’t matter. She’s inviting in the killers. Get it Hillary! Gays don’t want the killers in our communities.
3. Fight. Don’t be afraid of being called names. The opposition has a few choice words for us, and they’re not afraid to speak them. Gentlemen, this war has come to us. We have no choice but to fight. It’s not going to go away.
onthemark
@ Rob Smith: Thank you for your service to the oil companies. I hope George W. Bush sent you a thank you note for volunteering in his pointless war in Iraq, which created ISIS.
If you really think Pulse is the gay 9/11, I hope we don’t invade the wrong country this time!
joeyty
@o.codone: Too many gays are still trying to deny everything you’re saying. They’ll criticize ANYTHING but Islam. They try to hide from it and lump it into “religion” if they criticize at all. There are probably a slew of reasons for this, but a big one is that they were comfortable with how things used to be, with the Reverend Whoever or the Catholics or Mormons as the definitive enemies. They don’t like the old enemy usurped by the very real, deadlier, one. Now it’s not so fun….it’s too serious.
o.codone
@joeyty: You are so right! The smart-mouth fags have gotten very used to excoriating any Christian they felt like tearing into, any time, any place, any issue. So, gentlemen, go ahead and try your unrelenting anti-religion rhetoric on Muslims and we’ll see how THAT goes. Sharia justice will be delivered pretty fast, you won’t even know what hit you.
VampDC
As a New Yorker I can’t even believe i had to read this headline.
Pure disgusting and the author of this should be fired.