You already know where you can buy penises of mythical creatures, but what if you’re in the mood for something a little more Halloweeny? Well wipe the seeds out of your Jack-o-lanterns because you tricks are in for a treat.
Yes, Fleshlight (“The flashlight you can fuck!”) has just unveiled their “Freaks” line of monster dildos that lets you choose between Frankencock, a Count Dickula, ZombieDong, Cybercock and an Avatar-inspired alien invader (for those of you who have always wanted to be violated by a Na’vi). There’s even corresponding fleshjacks, if you’d rather not bottom for the undead (prude!).
Plus they make great holiday gifts. Nothing says Happy Hanukkah like a rotting man-cock.
All of the dildos have the disclaimer “Dildo is intended for external use only”, which makes me wonder if the fine folks at Fleshlight have ever used a dildo before?
haha what a cute novelty concept. curious, though, why these aren’t branded w/ the gay fleshlight brand, fleshjack?
maybe they’re just marketing these to women via the main fleshlight site + gay men on the fleshjack one
@aagblog: Q-Tips have warnings not to put them in your ears, too. Perhaps a liability thing?
I was hoping it would work like a real flashlight (shine in the dark) as well as provide ‘comfort’ to lonely spinsters.
Kids could use something shaped like this as a safety device if it could be made to hold a couple of batteries and a light bulb. Police could make themselves more conspicuous while directing traffic with such a product, too.
Nevertheless, it’s a good start.
old news atleast for the Dildos.
You kinda have to wonder about someone who wants to be schtupped by a rotting Zombie dong!
But I have been curious about the Franken-peen ever since they said in Young Frankenstein that it went without saying he’d have an enormous schwanzstucker.
Re: the Bad Dragon toys. If it’s always been your dream to be diddled by Dragons or twaddled by tentacles, have at it I guess. Just don’t come crying to me when a video of you screaming “Pleasure me, Cthulhu, PLEASURE ME!” ends up on the internet!
These are so gross and amazing I don’t know what to think or feel lol
@Doug105 – that site is kinda disturbing. But hey, what ever blows your dress up!
No suction cups?
Never buy a dildo without a suction cup.
An Ella Fan
“……if you’d rather not bottom for the undead (prude!).”
Funny stuff Daniel….
Comments are closed.