queer (eye) baiting

Are ‘Queer Eye’s’ Antoni Porowski and Jonathan Van Ness “finally together”?

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Photo Credit: Getty Images

Things just keep getting better for fans of the Fab Five, as Queer Eye‘s Antoni Porowski and Jonathan Van Ness announce they are “finally together.” But don’t believe everything you read…

For six seasons, the stars have played up their flirtatious banter for the cameras—and even created a winking Instagram account dedicated to chronicling their romance. It’s a joke that everyone’s been in on, though now the stars want you to believe they’re taking things to the next level.

“After years of joking about it, we’re finally together,” Porowski wrote in a tweet today that featured an image of him holding hands with co-star Van Ness. “Here’s to giving things a shot”

Minutes later, Van Ness followed up with a similar post, including a slightly more loving image of the Queer Eye stars cuddling. “Details tomorrow, but know that we’re very happy and feeling supported by the people around us.”

To the untrained (queer) eye, it may seem like the pair are making it officially official: The cute couple pics, the loving captions—totally swoon-worthy! But we’re all smarter than that, and the clues point to the fact that these two are likely only “together” in the sense that they’re about to announce a new co-project, brand sponsorship, or something along those lines.

Let’s break it all down:

First things first, Van Ness is married! Queer Eye‘s resident grooming expert and nonbinary icon (Van Ness uses they/he/she pronouns) got hitched to partner Mark Peacock back in 2020, and they’ve posted photos together as recently as two weeks ago.

And culinary connoisseur Porowski’s taken, too. He celebrated his three-month anniversary with partner Kevin Harrington earlier this summer. Sure, there could be some kind of poly, open marriage thing going on here, but we have our doubts.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Antoni Porowski (@antoni)

It really all comes down to the photos. If you’ll notice, they’re wearing the same outfits in each post, which reeks of a photoshoot. Now, it’s not unheard of that a modern, “very online” couple would stage some shots to announce their partnership—no judgment there! We’re more curious at what we’re not seeing in these pictures.

In Porowski’s tweet, both have an arm extended out of frame. But why? Could they both be holding something? Perhaps a new product to promote? Our current working theory is that “giving things a shot” was a hint, that they’re about to announce a new branded liquor.

Even the crop on Van Ness’ post strikes us as odd: They could easily be leaving a bottle of alcohol just out of frame. What are you two hiding???

We suppose we’ll have to wait until tomorrow to know for sure, but don’t get your hopes up, lovebirds! Meanwhile, Twitter is on the case, eager to point out that no one is buying this.

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