spoken word

Queerty Book Club: The Only Non-Painful Way to Read Twilight

We haven’t read Twilight or seen that New Moon saga thing. Not because we’re boycotting Stephanie Meyer’s Mormon beliefs, but because THE WRITING IS FOR THIRD GRADERS. And we have our GEDs, dammit. The only way we’re willing to listen to this vampire angst, where prose is replaced by Meyer’s perfunctory blabber, is when it’s read aloud to us by superhero comic critic Alex Day — who includes brilliant commentary and necessary grammar lessons. Which, let’s be honest, we could use.

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  • ksyxx

    Uber-win ^^

  • REBELComx

    The only reason I have been able to read the first book AT ALL is because it has snide comments and hilarious commentary written in the margins by its former owner. Despite this…i could still put it down.
    I only wanted to read it so i would know exactly how bad it is and what’s wrong with it in case it came up in conversation. I was able to work quite a bit into my vampire act over the Halloween season at a local theme park.
    “There are many kinds of vampires in the world, my dear. But the only ones that sparkle in the sunlight are either on fire or really, really gay.”

  • Jon B

    So happy you posted this! I love this guy, I’ve been watching him for a while, the twilight readings are amazing!

  • HiredGoons

    Frankly, I could watch him read a phone book.

  • edgyguy1426

    While Alex is straight, he’s as funny and generous as fuck and I’ve subscribed to his YouTube account for over a year.

  • mikey

    so cute!

  • Brandon

    He’s straight?! Fucking english with their gaydar sabotaging accents!

  • Andrew W

    There’s actually nothing wrong with the word ‘handsomer’. Jane Austen used it. Charles Dickens used it. William Makepeace Thackeray; Henry Fielding; Edgar Allan Poe; Lytton Strachey. I’m not defending Meyer’s atrocious writing, but I’m a stickler for fairness! I don’t think ‘had come’ is necessarily wrong either, but I haven’t looked at it in context, and I can’t be bothered to rewind and listen again.

  • Republican

    OK, for some reason, my posts on other articles will go through just fine, but what I try to post to this one never goes through.

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