Queerty Goes Deep

Queerty’s resident philosophers have been pondering the question of God’s sexual orientation. While some assert that God had a son, and allege that as proof of his heterosexuality, others are waiting to see the DNA test results. Furthermore, this past Saturday evening in a backroom in Roxy, a tweaked out club kid having sex claimed to have seen God.


Was God really at the Roxy this past Saturday? He wasn’t seen any place else, which lends credibility to the sighting. Of course, there is no law stating that a straight dude can’t go to the Roxy on a Saturday, though you’d swear there were.

Yet Queerty has more evidence that God is a weenie-craving homo. His creation of the earth led directly to the production of Broadway musicals. And he provided Cuisinarts to facilitate our lovely dinner parties. So Queerty has a message for all those bigoted Baptists who say that a play about Matthew Shepard is “spitting in God’s face;” don’t worry, we’ve already cleaned God up with a Neutrogena facial cloth, and his complexion is go-on-a-date perfect. If you don’t already know the joke about the nun and the bus driver, go here.