Queerty Holiday Gift Guide: Presents That Are Naughty, Not Nice


The 2012 holiday season is here—and that means it’s time to go shopping for prezzies! The Queerty Holiday Gift Guide offers unique suggestions for big gifts, secret-Santa offerings and stocking stuffers. Today: naughty presents!




Dirty Santa Christmas Cards

Former ad execs Brandon Burns and Justin Winslow give the family-friendly holiday an adult twist with this series of raunchy Christmas cards starring a pervy St. Nick and other holiday characters.

(From $1.99 each, $14.99 for deck of five; Dirty Santa’s Workshop)



heroes with hardons
Heroes with HardonsErotic comic artists like Jacob Mott and Patrick Fillion pack this anthology with fearless superheroes whose true mutant power seems to reside between their legs. ($39.67, Bruno Gmuder)


Baby Jesus Butt Plug

Too often the birth of Jesus Christ gets lost in the commercialization of Christmas. Get back to the holiday’s roots by getting your honey a four-and-a-half-inch silicone sex toy. If you’re on the fence just ask yourself, “Who would Jesus do?” ($35, Divine Interventions)



J & D’s Bacon Lube

The bacon craze doesn’t seem to be ending anytime soon, but this personal lubricant is definitely the most far-out pork product we’ve encountered. ($11.99, J&D’s)

Get Queerty Daily

Subscribe to Queerty for a daily dose of #baconlube #christmas #dirtysanta'sworkshop stories and more


  • jim2008

    I guess you got your sense of humor from the 700 Club, the Tea Party Movement and a bunch of other bigoted, bullies who can’t cope. A baby Jesus Butt plug? You should take a rocket ship to the moon with Newt Gingrich, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter.

    Bigotry and bad taste is just bigotry and bad taste. I don’t care what Christian straight person pissed on your corn flakes. You don’t make any progress by turning into those you despise.

  • heydavis

    This butt plug is the most perverted, warped example of obscenity imaginable
    Even for an agnostic, it is offensive, and has no “redeeming social value”,
    created by a genuinely sick mind. There is no humor in it, only pity and sadness.

  • mikro

    Definitely some editorial oversight, good taste, and common sense would have prevented this grossly offensive promotion of the aforementioned sex toy. How did this EVER get past the supposed review process I assume Queerty has in place? I haven’t practiced the Catholic religion, nor any other, for close to fifty years.
    On a lighter note J&D baconlube, like the rest of their “bacon” products contains no animal ingredients. You can still eat your man’s meat, or get porked, while remaining vegetarian or vegan. I’ve tried the Bacon Salt, Hickory Bacon Salt, and Peppered Bacon Salt. They’re all good. My favorite product is their Baconnaise. You can always add some bacon flavor at the last minute without waiting for the bacon to cook.

Comments are closed.